


The Guardian

by Lady_Tony_Stark



Series: Guardian [2]
Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bondage, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Feels, M/M, domestic abuse, mixing of comic and movies, so many feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:02:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Tony_Stark/pseuds/Lady_Tony_Stark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a mission brings James Barnes back from a retreat from the avengers, and his own past, will he be able to reclaim the life he left behind, or will it leave him shattered?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stalker

“I’m serious!”Natasha admitted, looking very amused as she settled back into her seat, even if she was aware of the crowd in the coffee shop, she was focused to on the people with her. Smirking a little at the memory. “He took one look at this absolutely adorable kitten and started screaming like the thing was a massive spider. Turns out the hallucinogenic gas he was working with had escaped and he was seeing things. he reported later that he’d seen one of the beasts from the Cthulu book he’d been reading.”

“Tony freaked out when he heard the screaming. It was amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man suit up as fast as he did.”Skye snickered a little as she sipped her coffee, looking around the table at the others. Phil, Clint, and Natasha. Three of the closest people in her life.

“I knew it was a mistake letting Bruce, Tony, Fitz and Simmons meet.”Phil admitted looking amused though.

“You have to admit the stuff they’ve been pumping out has been brilliant....just because we have to rebuild the lab every couple of weeks doesn’t mean much.”

“Not to mention it’s not like it’s a financial hardship to rebuild the lab since Tony’s paying for anything they break. Even if he’s not giving the best toys to shield.”Skye snickered because it had been a long standing fight between Fury and Tony, who’d started life as a weapon’s dealer, wouldn’t supply anything that he considered to dangerous to shield, instead the avengers got the best of things.

Phil tilted his head a little as he watched a dark haired brunette walking into the room, pretending to ignore him. Was that tilt of the head on purpose to keep them from seeing his face? Was he hiding anything?Why did he seem familiar? 

“Tony freaks about everything.”Phil said, voice dry and amused. 

“He does.It’s amusing. Did I tell you about the freak out he had when someone told Cap about his Cap stuff someone had hidden on base?”

Natasha chuckled a little as she smiled at the archer, pulling him down by his tie to kiss him softly. “I suppose you always forget to mention that you were the one hiding them from him?”

“And you didn’t give them to me?I should punish you for that. Twenty spankings for you, Hawk.”Phil teased.

“Well, Steve finding Tony’s obsessed collection, isn’t nearly as funny if Tony knows it’s me who showed Steve. I value my life some, tony’ll forgive steve. He’d just kill me.”Clint snickered as he kissed Natasha back looking amused before the conversation grew serious again.

“ Besides, with Steve as Commander of shield, no one bothers Tony about weapons anymore. Steve’s going a different route. Non-lethal. Nets that can catch escaping criminals, more icers, tazers, better armor, shields...Steve’s even got Tony in to completely remodel the entire interior for surveillance and security.....as much as I hate to admit it, Tony really is a amazing man. He was a wonderful director, for the short time he had it.”

“It is a shame really, about that. But he’s happier like this. Not to mention, Stark gets to harass the current director of shield, it’s like a dream come true.”Skye snickered a little before whining.

“He really is much happier. He was a great director, but completely miserable. Besides, if Steve didn’t want to be harassed, he wouldn’t let Tony keep coming onto base.”Phil pointed out. 

“True. Come on, we need to head back. Skye still has training today, and Rena was spotted again. She doesn’t seem to be causing problems, but I’d like to make sure she’s not suffering. She might be our enemy, but she’s going through a very traumatizing event, and I don’t want her to be alone while she adjusts.”Not to mention REna would at least have some idea of what the hell was going on with Skye. Honesty, Phil wished he could find that mad bastard who thought he was her father, but he’d all but dropped off the radar.

“Do we have to do the training?”She grumbled, even as she finished her coffee.

“Yes, we have to do the training. I’m not letting my little sister be helpless. March duckling.”Natasha ordered with a smirk, settling in behind Skye as they headed back for the tower. “Does anyone else get the feeling we’re being watched?”Natasha asked after a moment, lips barely moving. 

“Yes, we’ve been watched for awhile now...someone’s been following us for the last few hours. Possibly days, I can’t be sure.”

“I didn’t feel it till I joined you guys for coffee, so whoever it is, is looking for you.”Clint muttered even as he discreetly surveyed the crowd.

“We’ll go in, in order. Natasha first, then Skye, me, and Clint.”It was in order most likely to be dead. Natasha first because she was most likely target. Russia, some shield agents, most of the government and all of hydra wanted her dead. Skye second because of who she was, personally to everyone as well as her new found powers, who only a few knew about, but that wouldn’t stop if they had a leak. Phil was next, being second in command of shield left him a prime target. Clint was the least likely because, despite the man’s complete brilliance and tactical abilities, such as being able to keep track of his team on a battlefield and thousands of invaders, while still being able to effectively launch defenses, assaults, call out patterns...Clint was well and truly amazing, but almost no one realized it. He was the most often overlooked, which really suited him just fine. “We might have to call a lock-down on the tower. I can’t tell which of the crowd is our stalker.”

“Okay.”Skye swallowed hard as they walked, ignoring Clint as the man looked over the crowd. 

“I’m upping the ante, see if we can flush them out.”Clint muttered as he dialed, putting in a call to the two men who were probably ready for a break. The director of shield, and the former director having a daily standing spar that no one interrupted on pain of death most days. “Tony?Yea, I know, sorry, but we need your help. Can you do a fly by on the tower, and send the good captain down to meet us?”clint muttered not thinking of anything but getting his team safe, not taking into account anything else.

“What’s going on?”Steve asked as the towers to the tower, the dark blond hair shorter then it’d been, but as big and hulking as ever. “Come inside before Tony blows something up by overreacting.”Steve muttered well aware Tony could hear them.

“Hey, no reason to be mean, Director.’Tony whined in the man’s ear piece as Iron man landed, walking inside after the rest of the avengers.

“we’re being stalked. Unsure who the target is, or who the stalker is, no known objective.”Phil reported calmly.

“Stalker?”Steve asked, looking worried as he glanced around slowly. Most people would have accused Phil of being ‘paranoid’ but Steve knew better. If it’d just been Natasha or Clint, yes maybe. But for all three of them? Nope. Not possible.

“”Yea...it started a few days ago, on and off, but someone in the coffee shop followed us out, just can’t tell who in the crowd.”Skye muttered, hanging out in the lobby of the tower for the sole purpose of drawing attention.

“Do you still feel it?”

“Yes. Someone’s staring at us. It’s...flickering from malevolent to neutral...”ever since he’d been infected with the Kree DNA, Phil had developed a instinct over certain things, moods. “Whoever it is intends to do one of us harm, but is hesitant to actually carry it out. Or there’s two people. There’s to many unknowns. I can’t be sure.”

“That’s fine.Jarvis?Would you set up full surveillance, and record anyone acting strangely?”Steve asked.

“Of course, Commander. Anything else?”

“No, that’s good, J. But keep a eye on the crowd, and run background checks on anyone who lingers.”Tony said.

“While it could be just another crazy fan trying to kidnap us for a harem-”Which had actually happened, to more then one of them-”I don’t want to take any any chances that it’s hydra trying to kill us.”

Tony snickered a little as they all headed inside to the communal rooms of the tower. “If we get kidnapped for a harem again, I’ll die laughing about it while having sex.”Tony shook his head a little.

“We better not get kidnapped for a harem again. Natasha was unhappy that she had to rescue me and Clint from ‘slags’, her words.”

“Natasha was indeed unhappy about that.”Clint snickered a little.

“That’s cause you’re part of her harem, you don’t get to join anyone else’s.”Skye teased a little as they started to make food for everyone, knowing that after their sparring, steve could put away a obscene amount of food.

Clint snickered a little, before looking at Phil. “I’ll say this for whoever it is though. They’re good.”

* * *

“...You need a new chair. This thing’s hard on the back.”

Steve’s breath froze in his throat as he stared at the man in front of him, who for all the world looked like a child trying out his dad's chair as he twisted this way and that. It was taking him a few minutes to remember that breathing was a necessary part of living as he studied him. Hair shorter then it had been in years, looking thinner, like he’d been stripped down to bone. The wintry blue eyes showing that same mischievous look that had always been there, making him look about six, instead of 96. It wasn’t actually surprising to find him here like this, showing up without announcement, clearly flaunting every shield procedure and security measure simply because he could.

Except that he was supposed to be dead.


	2. Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter, cause there just was no good breaking point in it. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> What happens when old friends come together again.

“Breath commander. Not even super soldier’s can go without breathing.” James Barnes smirked as he looked up at the blond commander.

“Shut up asshole. I was breathing, I just wasn’t doing it very deep because you stink. Take a shower you slob.”Steve said.

“I do not. And I showered recently.”James protested.

“Honestly, I’m surprised, what did you do, roll in a cow field?Are you sure that stick didn’t poke the peanut you call a brain out of your skull?”

“No. Fighting aliens who smelled like cow shit. Really. They bled the shit, and I got covered.”James said making a face. “I am not!And I’m not dumb, you punk.”

“You beat up aliens?Now I know you’ve been rolling in bullshit. And please, out of the two of us, you have all the stupid.”He admitted, he knew most of the avengers, were always shocked with the way he and bucky interacted. They bickered, almost constantly. Even the howling commandos had been surprised. Dum Dum had once commented that they were both very pleasant people unless they were in the same room as each other. For a long while, people had thought he and Steve were in some sort of blood feud, or pent up sexual tension. When they never stopped, people realized it was just them.

“I do, on a regularly alarming basis. I think you’re mistaking me for you again, Stevie. I know it’s hard wanting to be me all the time, but you got to get over it. We’re both to old to want to be different.”James snickered, easily falling back into old habits, quite content to realize that no matter how much he changed, or how bad his life got, he had this.

 

No, I think you’re hallucinating again, Buckeye, because everyone knows you tried so hard to be me, you DID become me.”Steve said crossing the room before shoving. “Let out of my chair, you jerk. I like this chair.”Steve said sitting down into the chair, and ignoring the pile of brunette soldier sitting at his feet. 

“Hey!I was enjoying complaining about your chair.”James grumbled, sulking as he settled into the guest chair, sprawling out over it with that loose limbed demand for as much space as he could take up.

“You have no class, whatsoever. How did you ever manage to pretend to be me for so long?”Steve wondered watching the other, studying the man.

“I can act like you. It’s not so hard to act like I have a stick shoved up my ass, but since you’re back, I don’t have to.”It was truly amazing these two had managed to not kill each other really, even if they were best friends.

“It suits you. The look. You look like yourself.....I thought you were dead you know, you fucking asshole.”He complained. 

“And I know....I needed time to decide if I was really dead or not.”He shrugged, as close to admitting he’d considered eating his own gun as he’d ever get. After everything, he’d needed time to find himself again.

Steve went utterly still as he considered the other man. It was a maneuver James was very familiar with. When Steve was to shocked, his body locked up, a secondary impulse control that Sarah had worked very, very hard to teach her son when he was little. Since his first impulse was to hit first and think later. It had caused alot of problems when he was little. His sudden lack of motion meant that Steve’s first impulse had been to punch James’ face in. “And you decided life was worth it then?”

“After a fashion. Fury gave me a job...and a speech that amounted to ‘If you keep with the superhero shit, sometime you’re going to find something more dangerous then you to kill you if you really want to die. It was inspiring.”

“You’ve seen fury?And yes...he was always inspiring.”steve said studying the other, wondering if he was insane.

“I have. And he was, in that ‘I’m going to kill him when he’s done talking sort of way.”

“I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you’re the stalker Phil was complaining about?”Steve said staring at the man, because he wasn’t a fan of coincidences.

After a moment, James gave Steve that look of wide eyed innocence, that hadn’t worked when he was five, much less 95. “Would I ever stalk your team, commander? I think not.”

“...You’re either after Skye to kill her. Or maybe recruit her. You’re stalking Phil, probably to gain information on something you want or need. Or you’re stalking Natasha because you’re a pervert. So which is it?”

“I see you left your billionaire and the bird off the list.”He pointed out neatly, avoiding answering.

“You wouldn’t bother Tony because he gives you a headache, and you wouldn’t bother with Clint because Natasha and Phil would castrate you if you did. Now. Why the hell are you bothering me?”Steve demanding, not noticing the Winter Soldier had neatly side stepped answering. “I’m not giving you information, and I’m sure as hell not cooking for you.”

 

“he does give me a headache....and I was in the city. Figured it was either harass you, or go bother Stark, and I figured there was a better chance of you feeding a hungry super soldier than of Tony feeding me.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”No he wasn’t, Steve just knew James to well. “If you didn’t need something from me, you wouldn’t be here. I’d be sitting here still thinking you were dead and it was my fault.”He stated.

“I was one of the Soviet’s best spies, I don’t think I’m capable of being a bad liar.”James huffed a little before wincing a little as he watched Steve order food.

Punching a button, Steve sighed. “Stacy?I’m hungry, order me an extra large deep dish pepperoni with green olives and the biggest box of cheesy bread sticks and hot wings they have please.”

“Of course, Commander.”

“Tell them they’ll get a extra fifty if they get it here in the next ten minutes.”

“Of course.”Considering she didn’t even question it, it must have been a regular order.

“I see you don’t even care for my opinion on food. No respect, not even asking me what I want.”

“Buckeye, don’t lie. You know I only order that nasty shit on it for you.” That was a lie. Steve always got pepperoni and green olives, and James always ate it even if he bitched about it.

 

“True. You love me enough to get everything.”James snickered a little before growing serious.“I need a place to stay that’s not the tower...”He muttered because while Tony had left a open invite to the tower, Steve knew the other couldn’t, not when the resident threesome were so very open about his relationship. Even before he’d ‘died’ he hadn’t been staying at the tower. 

“I knew it. You were being a perv, you perv. Fine you can stay at my place.”Steve said smiling a little, because while Tony had made it clear he still had a room at the tower, the current commander of shield enjoyed his apartment. 

“...How is it being a perv, NOT wanting to see her?”James whined at that, before grinning. “You’re place is very kickass. A definite upgrade from the last time I was here.”James said smirking a little. The apartment under the brooklyn bridge was perfect, it had a hologram courtesy of Tony that made it look like it was part of the bridge, hiding it from view. 

“You were stalking her, that’s perving. You frekaed out everyone you know.”Steve said before pausing. “You’ve been in my house again haven’t you? I thought it was weird that my shower was wet when I came home. I just thought there was a leak!”He complained glaring at the other super soldier. “You used my lufa on your stanky ass! I’ll have to throw it out now! Who knows how many germs you have on it now!”

“I live to serve. Besides, if they’re that easy to freak out, they need practice dealing with it. I’m doing you a favor, Commander.”James said so primly you’d think he wasn’t laughing inside. “Of course. I needed a place to wash up before stalking the ducklings.....and you better. You never know how many woman germs I’d get all over you if you used your lufa again.”

“Phil’s got super abilities now. After being ‘infected’ with that alien genetic material he’s, advanced a bit. You’re giving me a headache is what you’re doing... Also. Stop acting like a twink, it doesn’t suit you.”Steve snickered. “No wonder you stink, you used that old crappy soap didn’t you? The one I never use but keep forgetting to throw away even though it makes my apartment smell like ass....though that might just be your lingering stench....and gross. You man whore, washing your nasty girl infected crotch all over my nice lufa.”

“Well, the soap was sitting there. How was I supposed to know that it was bad? You’re the one who keeps it....you know. I’d think you’d be more worried about alien cooties then girl’s.”

“I hide the good soap. Tony keeps stealing it. I’m hoping he’ll take the bad stuff next tiem.”

“I don’t even want to know why he steals your soap.”James said smiling a little before sighing“....How is she?”James said staring at the floor.

“She’s....stable. She has nightmares fairly often, but she’s seeing a new psychiatrist and we think it’s actually helping. Mostly, she talks to Clint, since he understands the most about being brainwashed.....she’s remembering a little bit about you, not much but she remembers tricking ‘a man with a metal arm to walk into a bomb, a fine example of how breast obsessed men are.’”He said with a smirk and chuckle. “She’s doing well physically to be sure. All her wounds have healed....She’s developed a horrible fascination with throwing knives though.” 

“Good...that’s good.”James muttered, not sure how else to consider Natasha’s condition. “...I’m not totally breast obsessed. I’m just obsessed with her breasts.”He said sadly, remembering the conversations he’d had on that idea. “Developed?She’s always had one.”

“You’re obsessed with getting laid, you beast. And no, this is a new one. It’s a obsession with putting those knives in Tony. Fortunately, she’s not got very good aim yet.”

“I’m not obsessed with getting laid. I haven’t had sex in 48 hours, I should get a reward or something”James said before frowning. “That’s....huh. Not so weird. Stark gives me a urge to stab him to.”

“You are obsessed with getting laid, you slut. At least Tony has standards. You hump anything. Including kitchen tables.”

“...That was once!When I was twelve! I outgrew that when I discovered girls thought I was cute enough to sleep with...not to mention women these days are more likely to want one night stands, then they were in the 30s. My life is perfect.”he said hiding easily behind the mask of a playboy, to hide just how emotionally gutted he was still.

“You still did it. Mother had pictures. Women these days are alot more willing to have sex. Shame they’re so gross.”Steve said, because while he didn’t mind women, he just didn’t want to have sex with them.

“It was a good looking table.”James said making a face, though he still only had a vague recollection of the event. While he remembered most things, some of it was foggy, less then clear, and usually took a prompting from steve to remember something fully. Looking up as the door opened.

“Hey, I have new toys for you, and your pizza, and this is a lot of food even for-”Tony stopped in the doorway, staring at the two super soldiers, so shocked at seeing James he didn’t even try to hold onto the pizza box as the man bounded over and started eating the pizza right out of the box as he settled into his chair again.

“Come on in Tony. Knocking is such a plebeian thing to do apparently.”Steve said snickering as he snatched a piece of pizza. “want a slice?Before the animal here eats it all. Also, since you’re running errands now Tony, I need a new lufa. Buckeye soiled mine.”

“I never knock, I’m always hoping to catch you having sex or something in here.”Tony mused absently still recovering from shock as he stole a piece of pizza, before frowning. “A new lufa?Send a agent out for one. What do I look like, your servant?”

“Tony, Jarvis is the main securty in this room. I know that he, that traitor tattle tale he is, would inform you if I was having sex in here.”Steve pointed out before snickering. “I’ll buy my own lufa, then hide it like I do my soap, you Klepto. You can keep the lufa bucky used though. It has skank germs on it.”

“No he wont. I’ve told him nicely not to tell me what happens in this office, much like when I was director, cause some rooms a director needs to be private.”

“He will, I know you better then that Tony.”Steve said. “Besides, I don’t have anyone to fuck right now. All the women are women, and most men are to intimidated.”

“Hm, he might. And that’s saddening. I’d offer to screw you, Capsicle, if I wasn’t afraid of getting frostbite on my cock.”Tony mused absently. 

“Don’t worry Tony. I like you. I’d let you top. We’ll start with mutal handjobs and go from there?”Steve teased, well aware he was going to shock Tony.

“Well-uh-yes I guess.”Tony stuttered a little, ignoring the laughing James.

“Also, I steal collectibles. Not your lufas. And I’ll burn the skank lufa, make sure no diseases are spread.”

“I can’t catch anything. Super soldier you know.”James pointed out, raising a eyebrow as Tony snagged a pile of paperwork and started working on it. It was quite interesting to see the former director and avowed paperwork hating Tony willing to work on it.

“No but you can still transfer them. So make sure you wear a condom young man.”Steve ordered smirking a little. 

“Yes, commander, Sir.”James said rolling his eyes a little at the order to wear a condom. 

“That’s damn right, Yes commander sir.”Steve smirked. “See tony?Why can’t you have good manners and respect for authority like Buckeye?”He asked, smirking because he was well aware Bucky had been being a sarcastic ass about that.

“That wasn’t good manners and respect. That was barely civil.”Tony snickered a little. 

“It’s about as good mannered as he ever gets.”Steve snickered a little, before frowning at the paperwork he was doing“....Why does the army keep sending me military weapons request forms?Do they really think if I sign this. They can make you do things?”Steve said wrinkling his nose as he balled the contract up and threw it into a trash can.

“They think you’re stupid enough to sign it without reading, or asking me if you don’t understand.”

“Why are all the people I have to deal with completely stupid?”Steve grumbled.

“Because people are truly stupid most of the time.”

* * *

“I hate paperwork.”Steve groaned as he finished, stretching as he looked at the other two men in his office.

“I think everyone hates paperwork, and I’m extremely disappointed I can’t make it all into electronic paperwork.”Tony said stretching as he stood. “Let’s go then. We have a dinner date with the others.”

“Yea, I’ve been trying to get them to go electronic to. Then Jarvis could do it all for me, and I can focus on my actual job.....Dinner date? Please, for the love of god Tony, don’t tell me you set me up on another blind date!”

“I wish they would. My life at SI would be even easier if I could use Extremis to finish paperwork.”He shrugged, because despite having the Kree having forced extremis offline, he’d come back stronger then ever, with both his sanity and extremis intact. “No, not a blind date. You’re having dinner with the rest of the team, pepper, and Barnes since he’s here.”

“I’m not having dinner with you.”

“...I know it hurts. We wont force you.”Steve promised watching James, “You can’t stay here though. You either go with us, or you can go back to my place. If you vanish again, I’m going to kill you.”

“....”James frowned rubbing a hand over his head, enjoying the feeling of the spikey hair rubbing against his hand for a moment. “Why not?”

“Cause if I have to deal with Cap’s moping when you vanish again, I’ll kill you myself Barnes.”Tony said making a face.

“....fine. Dinner then.”James said sighing quietly as he headed for the door. “I’ll see you guys at the tower.”

 

”And I’m serious James.”Steve said watching him go. “If you vanish, I’ll hunt you down and make your death a painful one.”


	3. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner is a bonding experienece

Skye glanced up from the book she was reading as the two directors of shield walked in. While they all knew Tony was no longer director, that was only on paper. In life, Tony acted more like deputy director then Phil did some days. “You’re looking inordinately chipper.”

“I’m complementing seducing the straightest man I know, it’s amusing our good captain.”Tony smirked as he shrugged out of his jacket. “Jarvis, we’re having a guest, just show him up when he gets here.”

“Hey, Kit-Kat.”Steve chirped smiling a little. He’d started calling the young inhuman that, but no one knew why, not even Skye. “How’s everyone been?”

“Natasha’s been beating on me again, Cap. Tell her to stop.”Skye whined a little though she did appreciate the training, she didn’t appreciate always losing.

“You’re the one who latched onto Natasha and asked her to teach you after Melinda broke her ankle. It’s your own fault. Don’t come running to Papa Rogers every time you lose.”Steve said smirking a little.

“Yes I can. Though, it’s more like Grandpa Rogers.”Skye teased the lineally older- but the nearly same age Captain. 

“Don’t think you’re to old for a whoopin’ youngin’”Steve said with a snicker before growing serious. “By the way. We’ve found the stalker.”

“Who was it?”Phil said tiling his head a little.

“No one to be worried about. He’ll be up in a few minutes, he’s not a threat. An idiot, but not a threat.”

“I’d worry about calling him a idiot, but I’ve heard you call him worse.”Tony snickered a little.

“I’ve called him worse. Skank was the the word of the day today.”Steve admitted, making Natasha choke on her tongue and gape at him.

“Followed closely by whore and pervert.”Tony provided snickering at the looks they were getting from everyone, knowing from the look on Clint and Phil’s faces they were shocked, but recovering as they realized just who had found his way back from the land of the dead.

“Well, he is a pervert.”Steve said rolling his eyes a little.

“What’s for dinner?”Tony said looking around as he slumped into a chair.

“We’re having pasta. All kinds. Some alfredo in shrimp and chicken, some cheese ravioli. I don’t know what else Phil made.”Natasha admitted, it always baffled her a little to see Phil cooking.

“Awesome.”Tony grinned watching the others cook, knowing better then to offer to help, they wouldn’t let him.

* * *

James swallowed hard as he stepped into the communal rooms, having changed the rough worn combat fatigues, to more modern clothes. The snug black jeans and grey t-shirt, under a black leather jacket that had been a present from Natasha. He looked like he was heading for a club, instead of one of the deadliest killers in the world. “....Sorry. There was some traffic, and I stopped to change.”he said as he saw everyone staring at him, tense and anxious even if the emotions didn’t show, even if at a glance, Steve would know.

“....It took you a hour to change your clothes?You’re worse then a wo....uh...”Steve paused when all the women in the tower, Pepper included, turned to stare at him, daring him to finish. “uh....never mind.”

“Yes it did.”James said, glaring a little, eye twitching slightly before snickering as every woman stared at Steve. “You never did know when not to say things.”He said walking further into the room, slipping off his shoes and jacket before moving towards the table. 

“Shut up, Jerk, It’s not my fault all the women I know can kill me.”

“You’re the one who collects dangerous women. It’s all your fault.”

“No. It’s totally Tony’s fault.”

“It is not. It’s not fair you two always gang up on me.”Tony sulked a little.

“You look damn good like that, Buckeye.”Steve admitted, making Natasha do that slow blink.

“As in Bucky Barnes?”

James winced a little at Natasha’s questions, even as he eased into the chair next to steve, the furthest seat he could get from Natasha without being obvious about needing the seat. “Yes, though it’s James to everyone but the punk.”He said before rolling his eyes.

“You mean you obey traffic laws?”Phil asked looking amused. “I never would have known. Come on in, settle in. How do you like your steak?”

Well, I got yelled at last time I drove on sidewalks, so yes, I sat in traffic this time, as I didn’t want to scratch up my bike weaving between vehicles. And medium rare.”James answered with a smile. 

“You still driving the black shadow?”

“Yea.”

“I’m stealing that bike sometime.”Clint grinned a little.

“You get yelled at no matter what you do.”Steve pointed out after a moment, snickering. “Then again not scratching your bike is hell of a good reason to obey the law.”

“Only because you yell at me, you punk. If you’d stop nearly having a heart attack everytime I did something, we’d both be better.”James snickered a little looking around the table as he watched everyone. He knew this wasn’t what Fury had expected when he’d given him the job, but he’d do it on his own terms dammit.

“If you stopped doing stupid shit that would kill you, I’d stop yelling at you. Also, remind me to yell at you later.”Steve ordered, snickering quietly when James just rolled his eyes.

“James...I don’t suppose....you might be willing to sign a few things?”

“If you want...after dinner.”James said tilting his head a little, glad for the moment of normalcy, that they weren’t asking or trying to nose in to close to the pain he knew they all were aware of. 

“After dinner. And eat your salad, you’re to thin.”Phil ordered, raking a critical eye over Bucky. “At least your clean.”

“Salad is not a way to fatten up someone.”James protested even if he was eating. He’d definitely not been eating enough to keep up with his super soldier metabolism, having mostly ate the bare minimum to keep from keeling over and passing out.

“You need to eat greens. The nutrients are good for you. A balanced diet is the best way to maintain a healthy physique. Now eat your salad before I taze you.”Phil said seriously. “Now I know how much Steve eats, so you’ll get the same as him right?”

“Maybe give him a scoop or four more.”Steve said already plowing through his second bowl of pasta. 

“I thought Stark was the one you tazed, stay away from me.”James snickered a little.

“He does threaten to taze me with alarmingly regularity.”Tony twitched a little. 

“I threaten to taze everyone. Well. Not Natasha, haven’t needed to. And Skye, since I like Skye.”

“You threatened to taze Steve?”Natasha asked looking surprised.

“Correction. He HAS tazed me.”Steve said snickering a little.

“Why did he taze you?”James said even as he relaxed, swallowing hard.

“Oh...well...I touched Lola in a inappropriate manner....I was looking under her chassis when Phil came in.”

Natasha dissolved into giggles, and Clint was snickering as he looked at Phil. Who simply huffed and mumbled about super soldier perverts which only made Steve flush harder.

“Hey, don’t give him a hard time about Lola. I nearly took Tony’s hand off when he was touching my bike. Talk about molestation....”

“It’s been two years james!Stop whining about it.”Tony ordered rolling his eyes.

“He touched your shadow? He didn’t...upgrade it?”Phil asked, his voice so horrified at the word ‘upgrade’ that you knew why Tony wasn’t allowed anywhere near Lola, ever.

“He did. And yes, but only cause I wrecked it. Had to have him fix it. It was still a molestation though.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who through the shield through it. Stop whining.”Tony rolled his eyes.

“You threw a shield through it?That poor bike.”Steve demanded, horrified. “I bought you that bike special and you threw a shield through it! And then you let TONY fix it!I suppose it has spinning rims and a gold paint job now? And can fire lasers to I suppose.”

“I...Sorta?Didn’t mean to.”James said hanging his head a little. “I-I fixed it!I only let tony make sure the parts were together right and safe!I fixed it!And it was saving someone, and the stupid bastard put the shield through the bike on the return throw.”James said sounding upset and anxious, because it was one of those last fights he’d had with Natasha, as Natasha, that had destroyed his bike. 

“No, it’s exactly the same. You can’t even tell I messed with it.”Tony promised smiling a little.

“Well. I’ll forgive you then. But only because you were saving lives.”Steve said smiling slightly.”And because you fixed it yourself.”

“So. James, are you single?”

“Pepper!No.”Steve said firmly, looking at the woman. “He’s not dating that monster from accounting!”

“She’s a wonderful girl Steven Rogers!”

“She attacked me!”

“It was a kiss on the cheek!”

“It was molestation!”

“You are such a drama queen.”

“Am not!”

James paled a little as he listened to them, looking interested despite paling. “Yes, I am actually.”he said slowly snickering as he listened to the arguing. 

Tony nearly groaned out loud as he ate his steak, this was going to be bad. So bad, but he wasn’t sure how to stop it without telling Natasha who the man was, or getting beaten up by James for doing it. Natasha knew she’d been seeing someone, but no one had told her exactly who it was, and seeing as he’d managed to add a skin like material over james’ arm, the fact that he was the metal armed assassin she knew, was something few knew.

‘Do you really think that going on a date is going to help?Rebounding is not okay.”Steve said watching James.

“Oh, did James get dumped?”Natasha asked, looking sympathetic. 

“after a fashion.”James said sighing quietly, staring at steve for a long moment before shrugging. “And rebounding is what I do best.”

“No, some of James’ enemies caught her and she...well...”Steve shrugged, the truth, but lying because the truth was so much more complicated then simply dying.

“Well....perhaps not the woman from accounting then. She’s looking for something a little more permanent....I have a woman in human resources who is itching to get laid if you’d rather go on a date with her?”pepper offered.

Steve relaxed a little, looking more accepting of that. He knew James wasn’t ready for a woman who was clingy or wanted a relationship, but one night stands, he was pretty sure the other super soldier could handle that. 

“That woman is insane. She jumped on Tony and Peter when they were walking around the building the other day...I think she’s got it bad for superheros.”Skye said smiling slightly.

“The red head?She’s good looking, and a ass to die for.”Tony supplied with a sigh, because he knew this was going to blow up in their faces sometime, but he might as well enjoy it while he could.

“Anna was complaining the other day about how no one wanted to have hot kinky sex anymore. I hope you like ropes by the way.”Pepper admitted smiling at James a little.

“Only if I’m not the one being tied up.”James said looking interested. “I can come back for lunch tomorrow, to meet her if you want to mention it to her....”James said tilting his head a little.

“Oh no, she’s the one being tied up.”Pepper assured James. “She’d be delighed. I’ll text her tonight. Do you have a phone?I’ll text you to see if the time works for you.”

“He can use mine.”Steve assured the red head, well aware James didn’t have a phone.

“I don’t have one.”James shrugged.

“You need a phone, I’ll make you one.”Tony said looking pleased with the idea.

“No.”

“yes. You’re getting one. You know Steve’ll feel better about getting ahold of you if you have one.”Tony said, just as stubborn as the super soldiers when he wanted to be.

“No tony. A phone means he can be tracked and I’d much rather he be out of contact than dead because the wrong people were able to find him.”Steve said with a sigh. “He just has to promise to send a post card everyone once in awhile.”

“Fine, no phone.”Tony grumbled at the idea of not giving out tech, even if he’d probably still build it.

“...Hey. I came back as soon as I could...”James muttered, flinching a little in guilt at the sound of steve’s words. As soon as he’d managed to get his head together again, to think enough to do it, he’d returned. Fury’s task of dealing with the mission, well, that was just the excuse to do what he’d wanted to do the whole time. 

“I know. I’m glad you’re back.”Steve muttered smiling a little. 

“Me to. It’s good to be back.”James said smiling slightly, startling a little when Natasha addressed him.

“Actually...shouldn’t you be old?”

“Natasha?”Tony winced a little. 

“What?!Bucky Barnes is Steve’s childhood friend. He should be old.”

“he was frozen as well. For more...sinister purposes.”Phil explained tilting his head a little.

“He made a better Capsicle then Cap, and he wants people to lick him warm.”Tony said snickering, trying to distract them from looking to closely.

“Cap’d let you lick him if you wanted.”James pointed out, smirking at tony. Side stepping and ignoring the question of how he’d ended up in this century. 

“I still think you’re obsessed with me, Buckeye. I should start calling you bambi.”Steve smirked before leering at Tony, amusement glittering in his eyes.”You can lick me anytime you want to.”

“Yes, that’s it.I’m totally obsessed with you. I want to have your babies, like Stark and Coulson here are foaming at the mouth to do.”James said rolling his eyes, snickering at the choked sounds that were escaping tony. “Bambi?

“You better want to have my babies, because I’m sure as hell not risking my perfect physique. And yes, Bambi. A baby Buck.”Steve smirked, amused as James rolled his eyes at the mention of the disney movie.

“I-uh. Could totally uh...lick you.”

“You didn’t know.”Clint muttered squeezing Natasha’s hands a little, pressing a kiss to her head, not wanting her to worry about upsetting James, before the archer focused on Tony. “It amuses me only you get him like this.”

“It’s because, unlike you Clint, Tony has the good taste to be attracted to me.”Steve admitted.

“I have good taste. I’m attracted to the best two people in the tower you know.”Clint said kissing Natasha’s cheek.

“You wanted me to sign things?”James said looking at Phil, wanting to give them something to do besides pick apart his life, he didn’t want or need to look at those memories.

“Oh!”Phil leaped to his feet.”I’ll be right back.”

And indeed he was, back in a few minutes with original Bucky merchandise. Some of them were limited edition and had only been sold for a year at the most. There was a set of commando trading cards that Phil had to pick through to find bucky’s. All the others had been signed by various members. There was even a few Peggy Carters in there. The funny thing was, none of the commandos had lived much past the late 60s, so those cards had to have been signed before then. Which meant Phil had spent alot of money on even just one card. Talk about your passions. Of course, the only person who probably realized just how much they were worth, was Tony.

“How do you want me to sign them?As James or Bucky?”James asked looking up at Phil, tilting his head a little. 

“Oh. Uh...sign this one as Sergeant James Barnes, and this as James and this one as Bucky.”Phil decided smiling, “Thank you so much. That’s the whole set.”He said looking moments away from humping something he was so excited.

“Calm down agent, you’re going to start humping Natasha’s leg like a puppy, and I’m fairly certain she’d smack you for it.”James teased the man a little, and only the ones in on the secret, would know just how much it cost him to make the joke.

“I’m sure she would. Waste of a good hump.”Phil admitted without thinking, gushing over his cards and mumbling about how they were going to each be framed and hung up now.

“I’m sure it would be.”

“Well, we wont see him for a few days.”Natasha snickered a little.

“Definitely not. You’ll just have to settle for my company.”Clint said smiling slightly.

“Anyways...I think I’m going to be going...thanks for dinner.”James smiled as he stood, to coupleness happening across the table from him, a little to much.

“Are you sure? Want me to go with? I’m finished if you want me to.”Steve promised, a deep set terror tightening his chest that James might never show up again flooding him.

“Yea. I need to get some sleep.”James said before tilting his head, sighing. “Don’t worry. I’m not leaving, but if you want to you can.”James said looking away, and Steve knew he had to go, otherwise the super soldier would probably be in a bar somewhere, trying to overwhelm his body’s ability to process alcohol.

“okay. I’ll see you guys later.”Steve promised as he slid his own jacket on, as James pulled his boots on. “March on, Bambi. I have nice booze at home, it’s from Asgard. I can actually get a buzz. Wanna give it a go?”

“Asgardian Ale sounds amazing.”James nodded as they said their goodbyes and headed down for the garage. “I’m not a girl you know, no need to babysit or call me Bambi.”

“You need babysitting and I shall never stop calling you Bambi.”Steve said snickering as he settled a leg over his bike, following the other super soldier through the city. Amused that for once, the man was going at a break neck speed, weaving and darting through traffic with reckless abandon.

Pulling into his spot in front of the apartment, he pulled off his helmet, looking at the other. “You’re a maniac, you know that?”He said as he walked his bike through the hologram into his garage.

“I know, but it’s your fault. I learned it from you.”James snickered as they headed inside, having every intention of getting falling down drunk and forget that he’d ever spent the evening at the tower. “Okay. Serve drinks, and lets see who is under the table first.”He said as he walked around and gathered glasses, looking utterly miserable. Letting the masks fall, to exhausted to keep pretending he was okay.

“I learned on the battlefield, I shouldn’t be your source of inspiration. And it’ll take more than a glass. Even this stuff is hard to get drunk on.”steve said as he handed over the jug to let the other pour, watching the brunette pour the golden liquid into a glass. “Bottoms up.”

“You’re always my source of inspiration, Captain.”James grinned as he started downing the drinks.

* * *

“Anyone else notice something odd about Barnes?”Skye asked raising a eyebrow as she watched Tony and Pepper wander off towards his lab, the genius’ social time used up for the day, and Natasha heading for the gym for a workout before bed.

“Barnes has lost more than anyone should ever have to lose.”phil said, eyes sad as he looked at the former hacker, wanting her to back off, but knowing that if they told her, she’d tell Natasha. “Don’t dig into his past Skye, and don’t push him. You wont like what you learn, and you wont like him when he snaps.”

“Seriously skye. Leave it alone. He’ll break you over his knee and not care what anyone thinks about it.”Clint muttered warning her gently, knowing that they probably wouldn’t leaving it alone. Well aware of the killer that lurked under that pleasant exterior and veneer of civilized behavior.

“I understand.”Skye said sighing as she stood. “Goodnight.”He said watching her leave. 

“You think she’ll leave it alone?”

“No. I don’t. And I doubt Natasha will either. The question is, do we salvage more by telling them, or do we just risk pissing him off?”

“He might forgive them for making a honest mistake and simply blundering into the truth. He’ll never forgive us if we tell them without asking.”Clint sighed tired, he truly hated this. This was going to bite them all in the ass.


	4. Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a mission brings things to light, things start to snowball....and what sort of life can they have again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm now starting to name chapter titles after songs titles/lyrics, so if anyone has a suggestion on good songs, that fit the boys, and the team, let me know.^^
> 
> Today's song: "Skeletons" by Heartist

James groaned as he pressed his face into the couch cushions, frowning a little as he felt the sunlight warming his dark shirt as it poured in Steve’s living room window. Turning his head a little he looked vaguely, sleepily amused as he watched Steve cook. Amazed that he actually felt hungover despite who fast his body usually consumed alcohol these days. “....When’s my date?”He asked.

Steve smiled a little as he cooked, looking down at the breakfast of bacon, sausage and ham. Knowing better then to make eggs, bacon, or any meat really while the man was hung over. It’d just come back up. Instead, he was making pancakes and cutting up fruit. “Morning.”he said flicking open his Stark-phone to check the message from better., “Tonight at six. She’s going to meet you at a Coffee Club and you’ll go from there....you want coffee this morning, or just water?”

 

James grunted a little at the sound of the other’s very chipper voice, “Don’t be so happy.”he grumbled, “And water.”

“you gonna stick around for the day till your date? We could play Halo.”

James smiled slightly as he sat up slowly, making sure he wasn’t either going to throw up, or fall over as he turned over and laid back into the couch as he watched the other cook. “I guess. I mean...I don’t have anything else to do.”He said shrugging a little, because he truly was at a loss for what to do, or how to do it. He hated that Fury hadn’t given him better directions on how to handle things now that he had this utterly insane task.

“well, there’s plenty you could do. Go for a run. Go find a bookstore. Go bother Tony.”Steve teased with a smile.”I’m not going to make you do anything, Bambi...Come on. Breakfast is ready.”

James groaned as he shuffled to get up and settled into a chair with a sigh.”I might do some of that.”He muttered frowning a little, starting to eat before tilting his head at the sound of ‘Star spangled man with a plan.’

“I’m going on a run later if you want to join m-”Steve paused, frowning as he stared down at his phone for a long moment, eyebrow twitching before he answered. “Stark, how many times are you going to change my ring tone?.....Yea, What’s the problem?....do you need me there, or can you and Clint take it?....I’m bringing James. He’s about to crawl out of his skin.”he said as he hung up.

“What’s up?”James said even as he started to change, having left most of his clothes in steve’s apartment.

“Bank robbery at the federal reserve.”

“Isn’t the cops supposed to handle that?”

“They are, but sometimes they call the Avengers to deal with it, we have a higher success rate for not getting anyone killed.”Steve said as they headed out, both super soldiers settling onto their bikes, already focusing on the fight ahead of them.

* * *

Perched on the back of his bike, James studied the building, watching as the cops discussed and debated, “...I can get in.”He said after a moment, glancing at Steve, listening to them discussing how to get in without getting anyone killed.

Steve tilted his head a little, raising a hand to touch the earpiece he was wearing, listening to Clint talk before looking at James. “Clint wants to walk you through a list of people in the bank. Pay attention, we don’t want civilians hurt.”Steve said as they got James one of Tony’s ear pieces.

“Kay. Keep them busy. I’m going to go play super spy now.”James snickered a little as he jogged towards the building next to the bank as Clint started talking.

“Hawkeye, he’s on his way. I’m going to go be distracting and annoying.”Tony snickered a little as he settled in next to the hostage negotiator , sounding like his normal billionaire self, giving the spies the time they needed to work, before pausing, flipping his comm to the avengers channel, smirking a little. “Cap, hundred bucks says Bambi drops in and ghosts them without them even realizing he’s there.”

“No bet, Rust Bucket.”Steve stated simply, flicking over to James’ line, looking vaguely annoyed. He was getting tired of having the old shield ear-sets that they could only talk to one or two people at once, he knew Tony could make better, but the billionaire was busy working on new body armor for them, so he had Shield R&D working on it. “Make sure to keep one or two alive, Buck.”

“Kay. Now, give me some eyes boys and girls.”James said as he got to the building’s top level, taking a deep breath before running, making the leap with a twist and roll, landing on the bank buildings roof with a full body roll, and within moments he was on his feet again. Smirking a little as he popped the buildings vent, sliding in.

“Two on the roof, three on the second floor. Thirteen civilians. Six bank employees and one crooked bank manager currently filling his own pockets with the money he can get into.”Natasha reported from her vantage point next to Clint, the two on a building nearby. “Civilians and workers are tight up and surrounded. One of the bank managers is missing, and I don’t have sight on the leader.”

“You know, I was going to tell him that.”Clint sulked a little as he glanced over at her, settling in to watch, knowing whatever was coming, was going to be breathtakingly awesome.

“To late.”Natasha said smirking a little.  
“You are such a bitch.”Clint whined good naturedly if only because he knew he’d get punished for it later. “I’m feeling inadequate.”

“Hawk eye, you live with me. You should always feel inadequate.”Tony chirped over the comms, and really this was some of the more well behaved conversations that had ever happened over the comms.

“I’m going to make you pay for that. And Stark, if anyone should feel inadequate, it’s you.”

“No chatter!”Steve barked, making Natasha jump a little. Steve had to nip that one down before they started talking about dick sizes again. Last time they had Natasha won had the boys had sulked for weeks. Surprisingly, both Tony and Clint did stop chattering. They might not listen outside a fight, but in a battle, Cap’s word was treated like it’d come down from on high.

James hummed a confirmation at hearing them even as he worked his way down. Pausing as he got to the final floor, he looked at the vent grating under his feet, waiting. Pausing as he waited for the perfect moment before jumping, barely resting as the weight of his body pushed him into the man walking under him, hitting the floor running, moving quickly and brutally through the robbers, straightening as he finished tying them up. “Clear....except that I’m stilling missing a leader, and a bank manager.”He said, and it would take knowing him as well as Steve did to hear the disturbance in the tone.

“Very impressive.”Natasha said studying the scene in front of her, tilting her head as she searched.

“Winter, stand down and stay calm....Hawkeye, Widow, anyone got eyes on the missing?”

“I’m fine.”James snapped, his temper starting to fray at the edges

“No....Wait!Yes. They’re in the stairwell, coming up from the basement.”Natasha said, thank god for modern buildings with windows in stairwells. “Leader has a gun on him, he looks pretty beat up, looks like he tried to struggle. He’s going to need to go to the hospital, it looks like he’s got a broke arm.”

“Then get a ambulance here, we’ll be out in a minute.”James said as he moved towards the stairwell door, catching it with his hand as it started to swing open, and using it as a battering ram. Smashing it into the man’s face even as James rounded the door and pulling the man away from the manager. Freezing for a moment, a long moment as his blood ran cold, not even aware of making the decision to kill him until the man tried to shoot him, unaware of nothing but the need to kill. To make sure he couldn’t be bothered again. Though, considering what he was doing, no one would ever claim the Soldier had acted in anything but self defense in the killing.

“Fuck!James!Are you okay?Did he get you?”James demanded already heading for the door at the sound of gunshots.”Clint!Get in there, provide backup.”

“Abort!James isn’t hurt!”Natasha declared once she saw James moving. “Asshole pulled a gun on him, James put him down hard. He’s okay, Cap.”

“Thank god....well. Are the targets down?”

“All targets down.”

“Then move in. Apply first aid to those who need it. Phil?Get in there and take the live ones. We want to know how, we want to know who, and we want to know what the fuck they were after because it wasn’t money for sure.”Steve scowled as he continued towards the door at a slower pace.

“What safe deposit were they after?”James said moving over to the manager, talking even as he braced the other’s arm, knowing for the moment it would do till the ambulance got there.

“1232.”The man said, despite his ordeal, he was managing to keep it together.

“....Get him to the hospital. Shield will want to talk to you later, but for now, go.”James said looking as the EMT’s came in, already heading for the stairs, ignoring the rest of the avengers as they came in.

“Did they get inside?”Natasha asked the banker as she came in, tilting her head as she looked the rest of the hostages over.

“N-no, it’s DNA and finger locked. They could remove the box, but they’d need more time to actually break in.”The banker said, swallowing hard, slumping, starting to fall apart now that it was over.

“Find that box, if they did get it, it should be here somewhere, if not, it’s still down there.”Phil said as he walked in, bending down to start going through the dead man’s pockets. “Hydra!”

“Six legs. Pretty damn high up.”Steve frowned a little as he straightened, examining the patch he’d just found on one of the others. “We’ll have a good time getting information.”

“Well. It seems like we’re going to have fun.”Tony smirked as he pulled off his helmet, smirking at the men. Frowning for a moment, closing his eyes as he connected to the computer system. His close bond with Extremis allowing him to touch any computer system that he wanted. “Go downstairs.James is looking for the safe box.”He said glancing at Steve, taking charge to allow Steve to go after him.

“Who DNA?”Phil wondered, looking at the manager, hydra momentarily forgotten.

“The name on it is Steven Barnes.”

Natasha blinked, stunned as she stared at the banker.”Oh hell.”

“Well. I can’t say I’m surprised. They always were entirely to obsessed with James.”Phil admitted with a sigh, frowning a little as he stared at the patch.

“This has to do with James’ past then?”Natasha said glancing at him as the EMT’s herded everyone towards the door. 

“No. He was just brainwashed into thinking he was.”Phil admitted with a sigh.

“For 60 years, he didn’t know who he was, and thought he was hydra.”Clint winced a little, because he knew whatever was in that box, it wasn’t going to be pretty. If hydra wanted it, it was going to be ugly. Smirking slightly as he looked around, amused at the sight of Tony and Skye working together to get the video feed.

“I’m sure whatever is in it, James will want it to be kept secret. He’s astonishingly private.”Phil said before glancing at Natasha. “Which means no digging Natasha. I know you were listening when we told Skye.”

“I wasn’t planning on it. There’s something about him...he scares me. The way my handlers used to.”Natasha admitted with a shudder. “I’m not going anywhere near him if I can help it.”

“Go help Tony and Skye.”Phil said after a moment, looking amused as she went over to pester the two. Looking amused because watching Tony with Skye, was just amusing. Tony had nearly adopted her and Fitz, the boy like a duckling that Tony couldn’t help but love. Though him and Simmons mostly stared at Shield these days, it was still amusing.

* * *

“Jamie?”Steve asked as he stepped downstairs.

“Hm?”James hummed slightly, barely looking up when he was spoken to. Swiping a thumb over the lock, he smirked a little at the slight smear of blood left behind, looking up as the lid popped up some. Looking slightly pale and shaken as he realized this was about him.“It’s mine.”

“It’s yours?From before the war?I didn’t know banks lasted that long.”Steve said sounding astonished. “I’m not surprised they’re looking for any sign of you. They were pissed when you were declared dead. None of them believed it, they probably came here looking for clues, or blackmail.”

“It is....and sort of.”James said offering a brittle smile. “I opened it before I left in ‘41, but I reopened it, put it in your name, and changed what was in it, over the years....any time I was in NYC....I stopped...I didn’t know why...but I gathered stuff.”He shrugged a little. “Blackmail and history....and anything I thought was important, when I couldn’t even remember my own name.”James swallowed hard, resisting the urge to reach in and dig for the piles he wanted, before pushing the box towards Steve as the man stood across from him.

“Anything in there, you can probably use against them.”James said before frowning. “This isn’t about me. It’s about you....and what they knew would happen since I was really dead, and they figured out I had a drop box. Eventually the bank would have realized that you were named my immediate next of kin, and given you the box. Even if it wasn’t my real name, I changed it after I came back, that if I didn’t show up once a year, it defaults into your custody. We’re 2 days short of a year, Captain. This wasn’t them looking for me, but looking for there own stuff.”James said.

“It’s incredible how much you were able to do when you were being constantly watched.”He admitted watching his friend. “Here, you take it. Look through it, make sure everything in there is something you’re okay with me looking at.”He suggested pushing it back, even if he looked curious.

“I was constantly watched, but they were foolish enough to trust their training enough. To not consider I’d act out given the chance, and home....always made me act out. I might not have known who I was, but I knew I hated who I’d become. An I hated them even more.”He shrugged before picking up the box with a nod.

“Come on, let’s go home. I’m exhausted. And hungry. Wanna stop and grab a few burgers?”Steve said before growing serious.”And don’t worry, we wont let Hydra have you. I’ll kill them first. And if I can’t....then I’ll kill you.”He promised. He, more then anyone, knew James would prefer death over being a living puppet again.

“Hm, food sounds good.”he agreed as he followed the other, pausing on the stairs, nodding slightly. He knew how hard that promise had to be, and still, Steve had given it. It meant more than anything else. Which meant that Steve...Steve was going to get to know everything, at least...as soon as James could get his head around talking about it again, of telling the story buried in the box. “Cap....I can’t ride the bike and carry this.”

“Food sounds good. Let’s go to burger king.”

“I’ll take your bike back.”Natasha offered before looking stunned at her words.

“Burger king?What are you, five?”James snickered a little before looking startled himself, looking at Natasha. 

“What makes you think he’ll let you ride that thing?”Tony said smirking a little. 

“Cause she’s a beautiful woman, letting her wrap her legs around something as beautiful as my bike is a deep dark fantasy really.”James quipped, shaking off the shock to act like his normal perverted self before anyone could figure out how shaken he was by the idea.

“You could put it in a backpack.”Steve said looking amused at the man, even as he stared a little in shock as Natasha blushed at James flirting.”Phil, give me your backpack.”

“What?But...no!”Phil protested, interrupting Natasha’s thoughts before she could wonder to much about what the hell had just happened.

“Backpack...yea.”James said sounding a little spacey before looking at the agent, raising a eyebrow as he took the bag from the man, smirking at the doll in the bottom. Of course Phil had a lucky Captain America doll. “I promise, I’ll take as good care of the little one, as I do the real Captain Phil. You’ll get it back in perfect condition Just think, you’ll have a backpack carrying around 60 years worth of Hydra secrets. That has to be worth something to your collection.”James teased.

“Fine. But I get second dibs on those files after the commander, and you can’t touch Cap Jr.”Phil ordered firmly.

James smiled a little as he nodded. “I’ll drop both the bag and Cap Jr. Off before my date, I promise.”James said before looking at Steve as he put the box in the bag, and sliding his helmet on. “ready?”he said looking at Steve, needing away from Natasha before he flirted more. Feeling gutted and hurting at the reaction he’d gotten, from a action he hadn’t thought about first. He’d have to be more careful. Flirting with Natasha was second nature....but now all it’d lead to was pain.

“Fine. You better.”

“If he doesn’t, I will. Promise.”Steve smiled as he followed the other man out of the parking lot, letting the others clean up the mess of a near bank robbery.

* * *

“So, you okay?”Steve said as they settled at a picnic table with their food.

“Well, flirting with her didn’t induce vomiting and nausea this time, so a improvement really.And I’m going to have sex tonight. So life is looking up.”He said wanting to brush off the concern and worry he heard in the other’s tone in favor of being flippant.

 

“A bit of improvement.”Steve agreed sighing. “What are you going to do when she starts getting curious? You know she will. Her and Skye are to nosy and have very little self preservation. I don’t know if I could stand if if you vanished again.”he muttered running a hand through his hair.

“Well, I hear Russia’s good this time of year.”James said with a sarcastic little smirk before growing serious. “I know...hopefully this bin of Hydra secrets will keep them busy enough to not go looking for more until I can figure out how to handle Natasha....I don’t want her to know, Cap. She can’t.”James sighed, because he was willing to break himself instead of knowing Natasha was with him out of pity. Knowing if she found out without the memories to go with it....well. Things would get interesting. 

“You’re not going to Russia. The furthest I will allow is Canada or Mexico. Still on the same continent at least....She’ll be distracted by the secrets for now, Jamie. But we can’t hide it from her forever. She deserves to know the truth at some point. She’s already starting to remember some things....she might very well remember on her own, and then what? Will you hide? Wipe her brain again?”He asked softly

“Well, if you say so Captain.”James smirked a little, looking amused because he really didn’t want to go to the frozen north. “There’s no guarantee that even if she remembers, that’ll she’ll remember...us.”James sighed softly as he nibbled on his food. “I’m still missing huge chunks of time, even if I knew logically what happened, I don’t remember it.”James shrugged, because he’d made sure to read about everything he’d done as a hydra assassin. “I’d never do that.”he growled angrily.

“Give her enough time, and she’ll remember everything. Didn’t you tell me once that the first wipe takes the most, and lasts the longest, but is never complete?She’s only been wiped wholly the once, from what I understand. It might take her a year or more yet, but she will remember. Your missing time is because they kept wiping you, but the more they did it, the less it lasted right?”He swallowed hard. “James...I can’t be sure of what you would and wouldn’t do anymore. You’re not the person you were. Hydra changed us, the war changed us. I’m not entirely sure what we’re capable of anymore.....I’m not sure what I’d do to protect the people I love the most....would I hold her down, make her forget....if it saved her life?Probably.”

“...No. I’m not the same, neither of us are...But...I’ve seen what the memory wipes can do to a person. Felt it. Even if I could save her from that, I can’t inflict that on her again.”James said feeling heart bruised at the idea.

“I’ve seen the footage...We caught a hydra base a few months ago. One of the originals. The brain wiping tech was there....I saw what that thing does to people. I didn’t recognize anyone they’d strap to the chair, but the screams....promise me something?If it ever comes down to that chair or death, you’ll kill me?”

“I promise, I’ll put a bullet in your brain, and mine before allowing either of us to go to the chair.”James said smiling sadly, brokenly before swallowing hard, deciding to change the subject. “don’t worry. I’m not leaving the city until you drive me out....I want a home again, Steve. Not just a place I’m staying. And I have a date tonight...dates are good....and what about you commander? Getting that itch scratched?”He teased because he knew Steve was occasionally otherwise he’d been in a foul mood and sicker.

“Good. Do you want me to find you a apartment? You can always stay with me permanently of course, but I think you’re going to want your own place sooner or later. Always so self reliant...”He said munching on a fry. “Of course I am. There’s a club I go to. Everyone wears a mask, anonymous. We find someone we like, we take them to the back rooms and fuck. There’s one I favor there, to be honest. I hook up with him there about three times a month. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average...wanna go with me sometime?”

“Yes please. Though I wouldn’t mind being closer to your place then the tower.”he said before laughing. “Hm, do you wear the cowl? Cause I gotta tell you, that’s not a true disguise.”he said before tilting his head, smirking. “Is he brunette, about this tall?”He said making a vague gesture towards Tony’s height. 

“Shut up you asshole, no I don’t wear the cowl. I’ll start looking for places for you to live. Maybe a sewer.”He said before looking surprised. “Well. More reddish brown, but yes. How did you know?”Steve narrowed his eyes. “Have you been watching me have sex?”

“The sewers?That’s just mean.”James pouted a little before finishing his food, snickering as they headed for their bikes. “Oh no, I’ve just watched you and Stark interact.”

“...What does Stark have to do with anything?”

 

“....You are so delusional.”James teased snickering as they headed back to the apartment.


	5. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James goes on a date. Sexiness ensues.Warning that there's smut for the last half of the chapter, so if that's not your thing, you can skip the second half of the chapter without really missing anything.

James smiled slightly, relaxed, closing his eyes for a moment as he listened to Steve texting as he silently looked through the files, the papers spread out across his lap as he considered everything. Grouping some things together, sorting, he set one set of files aside, while he trusted Steve, there was some memories he was unwilling to share, even with him. Putting most of the files back the box, he leaned back and glanced up at the other. Casual about putting some things back, and not drawing attention to it. Using his foot as he shoved the box at the other. “There. Everything you need.”

“Thanks, I’ll look it over.”

“I better be getting ready to go...”James sighed, stretching slowly as he headed for the bedroom, snickering a little as he looked at the clothes Tony had sent over. The billionaire just couldn’t help himself sometimes. Shaking his head a little as he started changing, hearing the other’s phone chime. Pulling on the black jeans and dark t-shirt, the man looked good, if relaxed and content. “So, what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m getting laid.”Steve informed the other from where he was laying on the couch, smirking a little. “I’ll probably be back before you will though. We get kicked out of the Club at midnight, and my beau doesn’t take anyone home and neither do I. For obvious reasons, so I’ll be back about 12:30. You on the other hand, will probably get a night of snuggles after copulation. So I’ll probably see you around noon tomorrow.”Steve teased the other a little.

“Good. You get twitchy when you don’t get laid.”James teased dragging a brush through his slightly messed up hair, running a hand through black locks, looking mussed and sexy really. “Yes, obviously, he’d figure out you were the good Captain if he came here.”James smirked before laughing. “Good. I deserve cuddles. And probably earlier, if you’re eating at the tower. I mean, if I take her to work, I’ll just head up there to visit. If not, I’ll do something else.”James said sitting down on the couch as he walked back in, toeing on his boots.

“I do get twitchy, it’s the serum.”Steve admitted, knowing that the other understood. While their serums weren’t exactly the same, it still made them equally twitchy. “ You look damn good.”he said looking amused as he looked over the other. “I never eat at the tower, but have fun.”He smiled watching the other as he left.

* * *

James tiled his head as he stepped into the brightly lit and cheerful restaurant, pausing in the doorway to allow his eyes to adjust as he looked around. Smiling slightly at the red head waving at him. Bright red hair tied back into a ponytail, and bright hazel eyes, for a moment it hit the man like a punch before he walked towards her. “Hi. You’re James right?Nice to meet you. You’re my beau for the evening, I hear”

Offering her a small smile, he tilted his head nodding. “Yes. Hello. James Barnes.”he said, knowing that his name was common enough that no one would make the connection between him, and the ‘dead’ captain who’d fallen in the line of duty. “I am. Though I was expecting something a little....darker, considering Pepper warned me you liked being tied up.”he teased a little, looking around the bright and shiny room as he settled at the table.

“I’m Annabel Reeds. Please, call me Anna or Ann, whichever you prefer. Have you ever done this before?You look nervous.”She admitted, smiling at him before laughing. “Oh, I get that all the time, but it’s kind of silly isn’t it? After all, Pepper likes being tied up to. People like me and Pepper need the chance to let go, not do anything. It’s nice to give ourselves up and be helpless for awhile....that and I get all hot and bothered.”Anna said with a laugh. “In any case, Pepper picked the place. I was just going to rent a hotel and meet you there.”

“Anna then....and it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date of any kind. I had...a bad breakup, and while there’s been a few one night stands, its been...”he shrugged a little, smiling slightly. “So, I’m apologizing in advance for anything I say or do wrong, it’s been a long time.”He said smiling slightly. “It is a little silly, but a good silly....”He said smirking, just a hint of the winter soldier’s darkness there, the man’s utter need to be in control. “Oh don’t worry, I’ll enjoy making you helpless.”he promised, for the moment, the darkness hidden. “Now that doesn’t surprise me. Pepper’s always telling me I need more dates, instead of simple mindless sex....Let’s eat, then we can see about getting to that hotel room...I did get one...if you wanted to go after, or we can just talk this time or....”he sighed trialing off.

“Bad breakups are hard....my last long term boyfriend, three years....he left me for a woman with bigger tits on our wedding day. Cold feet they said.”Anna said making a face. “But he never came back and it took me awhile to get over that....I don’t think there’s anything wrong you could do. Just abide by ‘no means no’ rule and obey my safe word, and we’re good.”She promised looking him over, before laughing. “Only a little silly.”She agreed with a giggle, before looking startled, breath catching in her throat at the look he gave her, pupils going wide. Oh, she wanted him now. He was going to rock her world. “Pepper’s nosy, but I think I’ll thank her for this date anyways.”She admitted snickering before nodding. “Yes. I definitely want to go after. Or now. We could go now.Who needs food?”

“The are.”James said before smiling a little, shaking his head. “Idiot. Boobs aren’t worth losing love.”he frowned looking annoyed at the idea that there was a guy who’d left like that, when James would have traded anything in the world, to have Natasha back. And wondering if Tony had told Pepper, considering he was sitting across from a red head. It made his chest hurt with a dull thud, that told him he might not be ready for this, but he needed to try.”Okay. I can do that.”James agreed, shuddering a little as she stared at him. “I think I’ll thank her to. Though not Tony. He doesn’t deserve thanks for being nosy.....Food after. Let’s go.”he said standing.

“It was a long time ago. I was only nineteen. Honestly I’m glad he ran away now. I was to young to be married.”She admitted before snickering. “Yes, we simply have to refrain from telling Tony. He’ll be impossible to deal with otherwise.”She admitted tucking her hair behind an ear, swallowing hard as she took his arm.”Okay.”

“He’s impossible as it is.”He said as he lead the way outside.

“He really is. I’m honesty surprised Pepper hasn’t smothered him in his sleep yet.”Anna giggled a little before tilting her head at the sight of his bike. “I’ve never been on one. Is it safe?”

“I thought tonight was about riding dangerous things?”He questioned raising a eyebrow as he helped her put on his helmet, having only the one. But even if he wrecked, he’d survive better then she would. 

“It is.”Anna said laughing a little as she settled onto the bike in front of him, smiling slightly as she heard the bike start, and leave with a roar.

* * *

“That was awesome!”Anna gasped as they stopped in front of the hotel, eyes wide as she twisted to look at him. “Oh my god, let’s go again!”

“It was. Especially with you all pressed up against me.”James said smirking as he looked her over.

“Well, having you hold me was very nice to. Not to mention your gear shift kept poking me in the ass.”She said with a impish grin.

“Well, it’s a nice ass. I can’t help it.”James said snickering. Taking her head, he smiled slightly, slipping a hand into hers before leading her up to the penthouse he’d gotten for them. The darkly decorated room a good mesh between his dark brooding nature and simple elegance. “Now, whatever shall I do with you...”He wondered as he gently ran his hand through her hair.

“Whatever you want.”She breathed, swallowing hard, submitting effortlessly as she looked around the beautiful room, amazed as she saw the glimpse of the city out of the window, a nearly clear view. Which meant it was a nice room, a penthouse suite high enough to see everything instead of simply other buildings.

“Now, tell me, what’s your safe word?”He said his voice a soft growl as he looked her over, “Mine’s steel, and if I safe word out. It’s not you....I have...problems that I have in control mostly...but sometimes....close enough to PTSD I needed...”he stopped, realizing he was ruining the mood by being serious. His own eyes wide with lust and need, bouncing between needs and pain, at a loss because he was feeling out of his element and overwhelmed by being back on earth again.  
“Hey...Calm down a little okay?”She asked with a smile,”I know you’re nervous. And my safe word’s lion. And if I hear Steel, I know it’s not my fault.”She agreed smiling softly, kissing him. 

“Sorry.”James muttered, calming a little. Hating that he was all over the place. “Lion it is.”

“It’’s okay.”she reassured him.

“....Also. I have a insane libido, and can go for as long as you can keep up with me. So if you get sore, or want to stop, tell me.”

 

“And I doubt you can keep up with me. No one can.”

James said before smirking.“I can.”Wrapping a hand in her hair, he smirked a little, swallowing hard as he pushed her down to her knees, undoing his belt. “I think you know what to do.”

Anna moaned as she hit her knees, uttering a short eager whine as she reached out to undo his pants, carefully pulling him out, pausing for a moment to savor the size and sight of him, before licking the tip of his cock with a impish teasing grin.

 

“Don’t tease,ведьма.”he growled, closing his eyes as he felt her licking him, sliding a hand through her hair, the Russian coming without meaning to.

“...Ma...”She tried, and failed, tripping over the word. “Did you call me bitch, or slut?”She wondered her breath tickling his cock, still teasing despite the order. 

“...”James blinked slowly, realizing what he’d called her, smiling as he focused a little. “Hellcat.”He said whimpering a little as her breath ghosted over him, swallowing hard as his toes curled a little, struggling for control before wrapping his hand in her hair, using it as a handle, pushing her closer to his cock. “I said stop teasing and suck, ведьма”

“I am a hellcat.”She agreed, licking her lips, tongue just brushing against his cock, groaning as he pulled her closer,”I thought you were going to do what you wanted to me, James?Why don’t you make me?”

James snarled at her, his control starting to slip, sliding away from him the more she teased, having tried to stay in control because he was worried about hurting her. “Fine. I’m going to use your mouth, then tie you up, take a shower, then have my way with you.”He snarled as he forced her mouth down over him, careful not to hurt her even as he fucked her mouth.

Anna shuddered in delight as she closed her eyes, hands resting on his hips as she let him control her, humming softly as she was used. Shuddering as he looked down at her, he moaned softly as he came, closing his eyes as he looked down at her. “So good.”He muttered as he dragged her off his cock.

Dragging her towards the bed, he smirked a little as he dragged her towards the bed, reaching up to grab the handcuffed chains hanging from the ceiling, smirking at her. Making sure she hand enough just enough slack to kneel comfortably, but not enough to sit down. “Now, I’m going to go take a shower while you sit there and sit about how I’m going to make you ride me.”

“I didn’t know hotels had these....”Anna said tugging a little at handcuffs.

“They don’t unless you request them, and pay enough to make sure they’re here.”James snickered a little as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Nearly a hour later James smirked as he walked out, dark hair slicked to his head and dripping wet as he walked named through the room. “Well, aren't you pretty.”He smirked as he trailed a hand over her back, pausing before wrapping his hands in the waistband of her pants and back of her shirt and pulling, smirking at the sound of her clothes coming off. “So. However shall I use you....”

Anna smiled a little, so deep into a subspace it was all she could do. Moaning loudly as he pulled her clothes off, she shuddered looking up at him, growing even wetter as he stared at her. 

James smirked as he considered her, moving closer, pushing her a little, forcing her forward, forcing her to use the handcuffs for balance as he slid into the bed behind her. Growling as he thrust into her with a moan, yea, this was going to be amazing.

* * *

James yawned tiredly as he collapsed back, reaching up to undo her handcuffs before collapsing back for a moment. Shuffling to his feet and disappearing into the bathroom for a moment before returning. Smiling slightly as he used the washrag to wipe them both up.

Anna whined when he stopped,d wanting more, even if she was to exhausted to even move, let alone manage another orgasm. Muttering tiredly even as he cleaned them both up, smiling as she settled in to sleep. Not realizing he was staying, or settling in to sleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title song: Broken by Robert downey Jr.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets some action, cause well, aren't we all curious about his boy toy now?
> 
> yes, you get two chapters today, cause I'm so bored. Don't always count on it happening like this.^^

Steve smiled a little as he parked in front of the club, the Citadel, already wearing his club clothes and mask. The mask was simple, black with silver etchings that echoed feathers in it. A simple colombina mask, covering his forehead, cheeks and his nose. Effectively obscuring his features. Checking at the door he smiled as he strode into the main area, pausing to look around. 

The first half of the building was just like every fancy, high end club. Couches, chairs, and lounges, with tables and drinks. The second half was broken into two different parts. The playroom, carrying the BDSM toys, you couldn’t have any alcohol if you went in there. If you were going to drink, you got a handstamp, and were barred from the playroom for the evening. The other half of the back rooms were simple bedrooms, much like a high end hotel. Only nicer because each room was soundproofed. 

Steve smirked a little as he looked around, looking down as he texted, though considering the other had said he wouldn’t be hear till midnight, he simply made his way to the bar. 

“You know, I said I wasn’t sure I’d be here till 11, and yet, here you are, at nearly 9.”Caesar teased as he eased around the people between him and Steve, the dark red and gold colombina mask, leaving the man nameless and for once anonymous. Dark curly brown hair needed cut even if it framed his face well, large liquid brown eyes happy and content as he looked up at the man.

“I know better then that. A hour isn’t nearly enough to sate you.”Steve teased chuckling. “I knew you’d be here within a half hour of my arrival at the latest.”He muttered running a hand through the mass of curls, careful not to disturb the mask. While masks could be removed, it wasn’t allowed in the main room or playroom. It also had to be agreed upon by both parties and masks couldn’t be removed by another person, you had to take it off yourself, or you were kicked out. “So, playroom or bedroom?”

“What do you know?I’m easily satiable sometimes. Especially if I’ve spent my day talking to idiot people.”Caesar sighed a little, leaning into the other’s hand, thinking about it before smiling. “Playroom.”he added, already squirming away and heading for the door.

“I know more than you think.”Steve teased with a smile. “Not to mention that you always tell me you’ll be late and then show up before me. I’ve caught onto your games, little emperor.”He said sighing. “Yea, stupid people are prevalent. We stopped a pretty nasty scene today to.”he admitted.

From what Caesar knew, Raven was some sort of police officer, law enforcement, FBI, or CIA, or more. Who knew?For once, Captain America had no name, and he was enjoying it. Raven grinned as he followed the other, offering both hands to the bodyguard to show that neither of them had been drinking before stepping inside the assigned room.

“There’s nothing little about me, you’re just a huge freak of nature.”Caesar whined like he always did, because he felt so small and delicate standing next to the other. Much like another man in Steve’s life, the man found this size difference very annoying. “Good thing you’re safe though, I better look you over to make sure you’re okay.”He smiled as they were showed into the room.

“I work for these muscles you know, Besides, I like how tiny you are, always as tight as a glove. And I can manhandle you into any position I want and you can’t do anything about it.”

“I can totally do something about it.”Caesar whined, squirming a little as he looked up at the other.

“So, what shall we start with today, Caesar?”He asked, running a hand down the other’s back to cup that perfect ass. “Such a pretty thing, it would be nice to keep you tied up in my basement.”He admitted, and he did sometimes. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind taking Caesar home, but it meant revealing himself and that scared him.

“Hmmm, tying up sounds nice.”Caesar muttered whimpering quietly as the other cupped his ass, leaning into him a little. “I don’t think I would that much, except I couldn’t work.”He muttered because he really wouldn’t, even if he knew Raven wouldn’t want him once he knew who he was. After all, so many people had disappeared in his fiery fall from grace.

“Go get the rope then.”Raven ordered, tilting his head, smacking the other’s ass. Honesty, Caesar was a bit of a odd one. He wouldn’t allow his shirt to be taken off, and Steve could play with his stomach, but never go near his chest. Steve assumed then man had a bad scar or tattoo or something. There were other people here who wouldn’t let certain pieces of clothing come off. Steve ponded that as he thought about where to put his little emperor, before smirking. 

Yelping, Caesar growled at the other even as he moved away, gathering the ropes. Returning in a moment with the black silk ropes he smirked a little, tilting his head as he twitched, making a face at the feather the other was holding, but not protesting. “Where do you want me?”

“Lay on the table.”Steve ordered, indicating the padded table. There was a pillow at one end, and a adjustable cushion in the middle that Steve carefully adjusted so that it was supporting Caesar just abovce his ass. Forcing him into a arched position so that everything Steve wanted was in easy reach, ass, balls, cock. “Take off your pants off, little emperor.”He growled, eyes glinting with sadistic delight as he watched his orders being followed. Once he was tied down, Steve looked him over, tied down and completely helpless, he had to stare at the gorgeous sight. “Safe word?”

Growling quietly as he was tied down, Caesar made a face, because no matter how willing, he couldn’t submit without a fight. “Banner.”He growled.

“Banner.”Steve agreed, smirking a little. “I’m beginning to think you have a thing for the Avengers. I get to meet them sometimes. For my job, I usually clean up after them. Rogers is always the most helpful, followed closely by Stark.”Steve smirked, because really, this was odd, but normal conversation for the two of them. “Handsome fellows to. If it wasn’t entirely unprofessional I might have tried to seduce a few of them. Not that I can compete against Rogers, but he’s a bit of a stick in the mud.”steve admitted reaching out and tracing the bottom of Caesar’s foot with the feather. “I have a few autographed stuff, couldn’t help myself, but they were all pretty nice about it. I’m only saying because last time your safe word was stars. And the time before that it was smash. And the time before that...”he paused smirking. “I think you get the trend.”He admitted trailing the feather over Caesar’s skin. “If you could have any of them, who would you choose?I’d pick Stark.”He admitted, flicking Caesar’s balls before tickling that sensitive hole. “Wouldn’t he look so pretty, tied to a bench just like this?Used until that’s all he can do is be a cum receptacle?”

“....Rogers is a pain in the ass, followed by a disgrace who’s even more a pain in the ass then normal.”Caesar said, that even if he’d never admitted to anything, he was close enough to SI or shield to have come in contact with the avengers on occasionally. Whining as his foot was tickled, he curled his toes trying to get away from it. “I do not have a obsession!It’s not weird!”Caesar whined a little. Before going utterly still under the other’s hand. Trying to breath around the panic before groaning as his hole was tickled, dropping back against the table. “The captain. Can you imagine putting that super soldier body to the test? I’d love to break him.”

“Stark isn’t a disgrace. That’s just a slander campaign against him, so people can feel okay with hating him. Plus, he’s a sexy beast. He saved my life actually. Ended up in the hospital, though I doubt he remembers it. They say he hit his head pretty hard.”Steve admitted before snickering. “And yes, you do have a obsession, but you’re right. It’s not weird. Most people are obsessed with them.”He admitted before looking worried for a moment. “Caesar?You okay?”He asked worried as he saw the other go still. Before getting distracted. “You?Top Rogers?As if. The guy is totally straight. Not to mention the fact that he’s even bigger than I am. There’s no one you could break him, you subby sub.”Steve smirked tickling the other’s nose with the feather. “you’d be ebtter off trying to fuck Stark, I hear he’s a switch. Dunno if I believe it, but it’s what I heard.”

“...Yea I’m okay...”Caesar sighed, relaxing a little before snickering. “No he’s not. That bromance he’s got going on with Barnes was just to much to be simply straight. And we all know Barnes plays for both teams.” Which he did, on occasion, in the name of a mission, but left to his own devices, James would leave the men to his Captain counter-part. “I’m not a subby sub!”He whined squirming, before laughing. “Hmmm, he’ll switch any way you want, but off. His mouth doesn’t come with a off switch.”

“...Bromance?I’m pretty sure Barnes was never gay. You can tell when someone is gay, you know. They way they react to people...like...hmmm...like Stark for example. He pays attention to certain people. He likes blonds, both men and women, and that comes out in how he behaves around them. Rogers, on the other hand, only reacts to males, particularly smaller brunettes. Barnes on the other hand, always focused on women, and never really paid attention to other men.”He explained with a grin, his feather tickling over all the places Caesar loved, and hated the most. Steve honestly just loved watching the other squirm and wriggle.

“Yes, bromance. I thought you said he wasn’t gay.”Caesar teased thinking over Raven’s idea that the Captain paid attention to smaller brunettes. “And ha!You said it. Barnes is a smaller brunette then him....why are we discussing this instead of having sex?I want sex.”He demanded whining, squirming and needy, panting, starting to come undone.

“Holy crap, I didn’t even notice...He is gay. Still. I don’t think he’d sub. He’s a pretty massive guy, very in command sort.”Steve admitted, because these conversations were always so interesting. “Of course, Rogers could very well holding a candle for the guy. Shame he died.”Steve sighed softly, a pang of pain hitting him, even if he knew his best friend was out getting laid himself. “Because I don’t want you dropping and keeping up a conversation is good for that. Also, because you had a hard day, and chattering about asinine things make you feel better...and I’m a cruel bastard who hasn’t finished teasing you yet.”Steve admitted flicking the feather over caesar’s cock, grinning as the other strained against his bonds. “I wonder if I could make you come with just the feather?Should I try? I think I should.”

“I’d totally top him. It’d be epic. And he’s in command the rest of his life, he has to give up control sometime.”Caesar whined, squirming. “I’m dropping anyways you know.”Caesar pointed out, because despite talking, he was dropping, his eyes glazing slowly as he looked up at him. “Hm, talking to you makes me feel better....talking about asinine things usually annoys me.”He muttered before whimpering, eyes widening. “Would you just fuck me?!”He demanded, gasping as he came as the other touched him lightly.

“You’re delusional at this point. He would never sub to a skinny sub.”Steve teased, though really it was something he’d been entertaining, trying to sub. He’d never tried before. “I think he gives up control when he goes home and relaxes into a bubble bath....I know, but you’re not going down to hard or to fast and that’s what matters. And good, I’m glad talking to me helps.”He said before laughing, grinning as the other came. Licking his fingers clean of come as he looked at the other. “Ah, ah, ah. Subby subs don’t get to give orders. Subby subs beg for cock. Go on little emperor, beg.”

“I am not!And I’m not skinny. I’m helpfully thin.....next you’re going to try and convince me that he eats only apple pie and those stupid Capsicle popsicles Stark’s making.”Caesar  
Snickered at the idea before smirking, whining a little as he watched the other. “Please, please Raven, please fuck me like the good little whore I am. Please, please touch me, fuck me please!”

“Please, we all know he lives on fresh apple pie, old fashioned hamburgers and _justice!"_ He declared adopting a ridiculous pose in a attempt to look heroic. “Those popsicles are actually really good. They’re creamsicles though. Vanilla strawberry and blueberry....I eat like a box a day.”He snickered, shuddering. 

"You are so ridiculous. and they are good."Caesar agreed as he begged some more, whimpering whining as he waited for the other to give in.

“Fuck, I can’t resist you when you beg like that, filthy slut.”He groaned as he moved over to the other.

* * *

Cleaning the other up, Steve smiled a little as he helped Caesar get dressed. Gently looking him over before helping him out the door. Steve was good that way, he never let his subbed out subs leave unless he knew there was someone to pick them up. If no one came, he got them a hotel room so they wouldn’t stumble across someone who would take advantage of them. Smiling a little as he helped Caesar out to the waiting car. “See you later Caesar.”he said helping the other inside, without looking in.

“Bye, Rav.”Caesar muttered sleepily even as he leaned back into the seat, sighing softly as he snuggled into the red head waiting for him. 

“I find it amusing that he’s never even tried to look in here to see who’s taking you home.You should ask him out.”

“Can’t. He thinks Tony Stark is a good guy. Wont ruin that.”

“He’s a good man. Better than most to be sure. Most men wouldn’t bother waiting to make sure you were safe in the car. You should give him a chance.”

“No. He deserves better.”Tony Stark said as he tossed his mask across the car seat, glancing at Pepper for a long moment before staring out the window as the city lights hid as much of his features as they revealed the deep sadness in his features.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And out of curiosity, how long did it take everyone to figure out who Caesar was?Comment, tell me, I'm curious.


	7. falling for the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after.

Tony smirked as he walked into the office, his dark hair a mess of curls, even as the man himself was focused on his tablet, instead of the man he’d come to see. “so. Any ideas what’s in the deposit box from yesterday?”He asked settling into the his normal chair in front of Steve’s desk, looking even more relaxed then normal. 

“Hydra crap. Phil has it now. He was pretty pissed that we didn’t return his backpack till this morning. You’ll have it next of course.”He admitted looking up for a moment. “There’s a hell of alot of good information in there.”

“Did he have fun? And Phil was sure James was going to get his Cap Jr. Killed or something. He’ll calm down.”He said looking pleased with the idea of reading more.

“Don’t know, hasn’t been back yet. I’d assume so though.”Steve admitted with a chuckle. “He might have. Who knows how kinky he is? Might have used Cap Jr. As a sex toy.”

“I’m fairly certain you know just how kinky he is, Cap.”Tony rolled his eyes a little.

“I have lived with him for a long time. After so much time spent as the soldier, James feels most content when he’s in complete control.”Steve said with a shrug.”So yes, very very kinky. Not sure if he’s into pain play or not, but I doubt it.”

“That’s awesome. I sorta wanna watch him have sex now. I bet it’s something out of a porno.”

“I could do with never, ever seeing it again...but yes, it’s like something out of a porno, no you can’t ask to record him having sex.”

“I don’t think you’re that lucky. I bet you you’ll walk in on him sometime....and why not? It’d be the best porno ever if I could convince him to suit up.”

“Super sense of hearing and smell. I would hear them before I saw them, so I’m pretty forward. Then I just leave. And James’ll turn you into paste before he lets you film him....and I highly doubt that he’ll ever wear the suit again.”

“True.”

“By the way.”Steve said setting aside some of the paperwork, he straightened. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”He demanded, smirking as Tony’s eyes went wide as he tried to figure out what he was getting yelled at for. “ ‘Tastes like Justice’ Tony?And don’t even try to deny it!We all know that this was your idea.”

“Pepper asked me to make Avenger themed popsicle slogans!It’s not my fault!”Tony whined, even if he was laughing. It was like watching a kid lie about eating cookies, with chocolate smeared all over his face. He was just enjoying jerking Steve around to much. “Besides, every woman and man in the world wants to like your popsicle, so I have then the chance.”He said smirking, eyeing the other. “Who told you?

“I do my own shopping, Tony. Imagine my surprise when I saw these? I’m surprised Hulk hasn’t smashed you into the ground yet.”Steve said smirking as he pulled out another carboard box. It was green apple popsicles that said ‘Hulk Smash!’

“Ah well.I forgot you did your own shopping.”Tony snickered a little. “Hulk likes them, and he likes me.”

“There’s only one person I want sucking on my popsicle tony, and everyone in the world is not it! I am unhappy.”he growled scowling at the other. 

“Really?Who?And if you tell me it’s lady liberty, I’m going to be sick and make fun of your patriotic sex life.”Tony said.

“It’s not Lady Liberty, and not the american flag either, you sex fiend. You must have gotten laid last night if your in such a good mood.”

“I am not a fiend, but yes, I did get laid. And it was amazing, and definitely something I want to do again in the near future, so I’d enjoy it if we wrapped things up at a reasonable hour today so I can jump him again.”Tony said, because he was so not bothered by anything, and so openly bisexual about it you just had to be okay with it.

“I wish I could get laid....but yes, we’ll be done by seven at the latest. I’m not staying all night again.”He promised.

“Good. I have won a evening with the best person in the world, and it’ll be fun.”

“I thought I was the best person in the world?”Steve asked, looking curious now. 

“You are, but he’s better right now, because totally wants me.”

“Maybe I’ll seduce you away from this dastardly character. What’s her name anyway?”

“Dastardly?”He said neatly avoiding the question.

“Yes, dastardly. I’m a hero after all. as long as she doesn’t hurt your feelings, I wont get involved. She breaks your heart, and all bets are off.”

“You really should stop reading your own comics, Cap.”Tony said rolling his eyes a little as he settled back into his chair.

“ You’re my gopher for the day. Which means you do whatever I tell you to do. Go get me some coffee.”

Tony made a face before whining as he snagged the boxes, “I feel like I should warn you about sexual harassment or something if you’re ordering me around.”He whined as he left though, returning in a few minutes with a glass of coffee, just how Steve liked it, instead of Tony’s normal raise the dead coffee.

“You’d enjoy it to much if I sexually harassed you.”Steve said as the man came back in, smirking a little. Steve was a bit of a odd one, he liked caramel syrup in his coffee. No milk, no sugar, just caramel. “Thanks tony.”

“I totally would. Imagine the tabloids, ‘Iron man molested by national treasure.....and welcome. Anything I can help with?”

“Yes. You can go fire Tristan Adams.”He stated, handing the file over to the other. “If he asks why, tell him his level of nonprofessional behaviors will no longer be tolerated and his blatant disregard for personal space and sexual harassment are not tolerated on Shield property. His attempts to bully younger or less skilled agents into dating him, and his attempts to force young ms. Witherspoon into giving him sexual favors will ensure he is arrested for attempted rape if he’s not off shield property in a hour.....”He smirked at tony. “Feel free to take your time, or delay him a bit if you have to.”

Tony frowned looking over the paperwork, nodding. “I’ll most definitely be seeing that Mr. Adams is taken care of.”The former director of Shield said as he headed for the door.

* * *

Anna blinked slowly as she sat up, staring down at the man sleeping on the floor, shaking her head a little. She’d had sex with other vets before, so she assumed the bed was to soft for him and he didn’t trust himself to not hurt her. Getting up she gentle covered him with a blanket and headed out to the living room area to order breakfast. Humming quietly when their breakfast arrived she moved back into the bedroom. “James!Breakfast. Wake up now. I’ve got coffee.”She admitted with a grin.

James’ hand snapped out, having awoke the moment she moved closer to him again, holding her still as he tried to figure out where he was, and why he was being kicked a little. Until he realized that she hadn’t kicked him to hurt, simply to get him moving. “Anna?”He muttered stirring, sitting up slowly. Rubbing a hand over his face before smiling. “Coffee is nice. Thanks.”

Anna jumped a little as he grabbed her, but not panicking or pulling away, simply staring down at him, calm. “Yup, it’s me. You awake now?”She asked examine him before nodding slightly, seeing he wouldn’t lash out again. “You’re welcome.”She smiled setting at the small table with her waffle and scrambled eggs, tilting her head. “So. Last night was awesome. If I give you my number, you’ll call me for another round right? Or you could get pepper to get ahold of me. She said your scared of phones. So maybe that would be a better way...I’ve never met someone who could fuck me senseless. That was awesome.”

“I’m not afraid of phones!”James huffed as he followed after her and settled in to eat his own breakfast. “It’s not my fault random people keep calling me when I don’t want them to. Or finding me. It’s easier to not have one.”He huffed before reaching out to snag the pen sitting on the desk, scribbling down Steve’s number. “It wont be me who answers, but he’ll get me a message if you want to talk to me.”He said before laughing. “It was indeed awesome.”

“Phones aren’t that bad. In fact, my phone here? Highest Stark Tech. No one can call you unless they’re in my contacts list, or the police, emergency or what not. It’s pretty awesome.”She said accepting the piece of paper, raising a eyebrow a little as she saw who’s number it was. Interesting. “Alright. And he can call me anytime to set up a sex date.”She agreed before sighing, “I need to call pepper.”she said dialing. “Hey. I need a change of clothes.Ahuh....yea. No. Yes. Please? I’ll buy you those lovely chocolate filled doughnuts. Awesome. Thanks.”She said hanging up. “New clothes coming. I’ll have to remember to pack some next time.”

“Maybe I’ll get Tony to make me one...he did offer to...”James sighed a little before nodding. “Awesome. It’ll please me greatly to make him call to set up a date for me. It’d be awesome to watch him blush.”James snickered sighing as he kissed her, wincing as he looked at her clothes as she hung up.”Sorry...didn’t think of the morning after when I ripped them apart....”

“I loved it when you ripped the apart. You turned me on so damn bad it wasn’t funny...Oh I’ll just make sure to put the ruined clothes on Tony’s tab, so don’t worry about it.”

“Oh good. I’l just have to do it more then.”He smiled stealing a kiss as he finished his food. “We better be going.”

“I can’t go anywhere until I have clothes, remember? Unless you want me to walk out there naked?”

“No need!I have clothes.”Pepper called as she walked in, blinking slowly when she realized they were still naked. “Now I feel jealous.”

“Well, I could totally go for walking around naked.”James said snickering a little as he looked up Pepper. It wasn’t that odd. If he could get away with it, he was naked, so offering to go outside wasn’t that unusual for him. “You don’t have to be, I’ll let you sit in my lap, and give you the ride of a lifetime, and promise to not tell Stark.”James said smirking at pepper.

“I think I would rather not. For one thing, Tony already knows. For another, I have a boyfriend.”Pepper informed him with a sniff.

“...True. Having Steve bail me out of jail naked again would be horrible. He gets so uptight about it.”James sulked a little before smirking. “As long as you’re sure.”he teased pepper as he started to get dressed.

“You’ll have to tell us that story later.”Anna said laughing a little.

“Which one? There’s a few times Steve bailed me out of jail. Fighting naked disturbs people apparently.”James said, oh yea. Now there was a story told to generations of kids, how James Barnes had been surprised in bed, in the bath a few times, and proceeded to ignore clothes in favor of a fight.

Anna snickered, smiling as she stole a kiss from James, amused as they all left. This was definitely a morning all of them would remember.

* * *

“Adams is taken care of.”

Steve looked up at the man walking in, pausing in the middle of the text he’d been sending. Staring at the gingerly way Tony was talking. “Your jaw is broken, isn’t it?”

“I’m fine.”

“Pretending your fine doesn’t work when you’re bleeding all over yourself Tony. Sit.”Steve ordered as he moved around his desk, looking him over as he carefully cleaned the other up.

Whining a little, Tony rolled his eyes a little though as he let the other clean him up though. “I’m okay. In a few hours, it’ll be okay.”He said, while it’d be longer then a few hours, he had no intention of sticking around to let the other fuss over him. 

“Shut up and hold still, you stubborn Brat.”Steve grumbled.“What happened?”

“He got annoyed that he was being fired, and thought I’d be easier to beat on then your agents. Idiot.”Tony made a face even as he got up, waving the other off. “Stop. I’m going home.”he said as he headed for the door.

“Alright. Just take it easy okay?”Steve sighed softly, watching him go as he waved off the concern, making a mental note to make sure the other got home before returning to his text, finishing it with a smile.” _Having a terrible day at work. You free later? Was hoping to try something new. How do you feel about being dom?”_ Smiling slightly when the phone dinged back right away.

_”Me to. And yea, I am....really?I could go for that. Watching you be at my mercy would be amazing.”_

_Yea. I’ve never done it before, but I’m kinda curious. It’ll be okay if I can’t get right?” I’m as nervous as I am excited. You wont hold it against me if I can’t right?_

“ _Of course it’s okay. I’d never make you,but I’m going to totally enjoy topping you if I can. It’ll be fun. Now shush, I have to prepare and decide what I’m doing. See you in a few hours.”_

Steve grinned at the last text, looking forward to whatever was coming next.


	8. future starts slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and James talk, and Natasha finds some things.

“You look pleased with yourself.”James smirked a little as he walked in, looking over the other in amusement as he slid into Steve’s office.

“I am pleased with myself. I’m finally going to bottom. This guy, Caesar, my favorite at the club....I’m a little surprised he said yes actually. He’s the subbiest sub ever.”

“Really?”James raised a eyebrow. “He might try to please you, and please himself. I mean, he wants to...but like you might not actually bottom, he might not actually be able to top.”he warned, not wanting the other to get his hopes to high. While he might not see the appeal of guy on guy, he’d been Steve’s friend to long to not understand the mechanics of it.

“James, I’ve seen Caesar take another sub and dominate them with nothing but words and a few touches..”Steve said with a grin before sighing. “Still...I hope I like it...I mean...I should. I mean, I enjoy it when I...to myself...so it can’t be that different right?”He said blushing a little, because despite some of the things he’d talked with James before, this was still weird. But it never even occurred to him to not talk about it. “

“Seriously? Maybe he’s taking lessons from Stark on how to be a moody bastard.”James snickered amused, knowing that even if Steve didn’t admit it, he had a thing for the former director. “...It is, but you should enjoy it. Just trust Caesar to be good enough to take care of you.”James smiled a little, because really this whole conversation just amused him.

“I know. He’s perfect...I’ve been thinking of telling him who I really am...I’m a bit nervous though, because I do like Tony. Alot....but I really like Caesar to...”Steve sighed.

“Well, you could show up in the cowl, he might take the hint that you’re the good captain.”James teased a little before sighing. “Talk to Tony maybe?I dunno, Steve. Figuring out relationships were never my strong suit. Natasha was the one who figured things out for me.”

“I think not. There’s no way Tony would be okay with starting a relationship with me right now, but I feel bad for stringing Caesar along to....how can I start a relationship with one man, when I’m pining for another?”Steve whined a little. “You’re useless.”

“Well, you’ll figure out something. You always do. And if you can’t have Tony, well, be happy with the man you do have...I’m completely useless at this. Ask Natasha.”

“You know, you’re right. I should be happy with the man I have.”Steve smiled a little before focusing on the other. “How was your night though? You look very content.”

“Thanks. I always look nice, but it was good. Exciting enough that she damn near exhausted what I thought was a inexhaustible libido.”

“...Seriously?”Steve stared at him. “Damn, I mean....I knew she was a bit of a....I don’t want to say whore or slut because she’s not. She has standards, very high ones and she doesn’t sleep around really....nymphomaniac maybe?That sounds better. Seriously though? She actually exhausted you? How was she at the end?Dead?”Steve asked looking quite amused.

“Yes, probably a nympho. Cause she wanted to keep going even if we were both exhausted...and we were both damn near dead.”

“Sounds like she’s perfect for you, you slut.”Steve teased his friend, “You don’t mind being alone for a bit tonight?I got all excited about bottoming that I forgot you were staying with me.”

“Yea, she really is.”James agreed, which made him feel even worse for still being hung up on Natasha, to wanting Natasha back, even if they clashed as much as they got along. “No, go ahead. I’ll settle in with a book or something. Watch TV. I can entertain myself.”

“Well, if you’re sure?”

“I am.”

“Come on. Let’s get some food before you head out for your date.”

“Also, here. In case you need to buy anything.”Steve said holding out a bank card, “That’s yours to keep. Tied directly into my account so it can’t be tracked. Shield and Tony both keep my spending completely trace free. If you need to bolt, take that with you.”Steve said before nodding. “Yea, food would be good. What do you want?”

“....Thank you.”James smiled feeling at a loss considering the other man wanted him to stay....and yet, was giving him a way to bolt if he needed to. “Pizza. Let’s go.”

“Pizza it is.”Steve said as he headed for the door. Not bothering to comment on the card. He didn’t bother telling James that it was for him as much as it was for James. As long as he was pulling money out, he’d know the other was alive.

* * *

“Nat?”Skye asked as she knocked on Natasha’s door, sticking her head into the room and holding up the tablet she was working on. “I got those Shield files you asked for. It’s not much, I think the commander deleted some of what we had, but this is everything on one James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.”Skye said handing it over.

“Thanks Skye. Want to look them over with me? I know I shouldn’t look them over....but he’s dangerous. I can feel it.”Natasha scowled as she started to read, looking annoyed as she did. The files were bare bones to the point it was nearly useless to read. “There’s nothing here. It’s all...basic stuff we already know. When he was born, when he was thought to have died, the specs for the metal arm....he has a metal arm?”

“Welcome....He is. Even with what’s missing. This reads dangerous.”Skye agreed before nodding, “He does. I had to go searching through Tony’s personal files to find it, since the design is SI made, but not publicly, so it took awhile to find, but he does. It’s hardwired right into his nervous system, and the only one in existence like it. Tony used Iron Man tech and James’ own serum’d body to create it. He wears a fake skin over it, so good that it fools even touch to think it’s real skin.”

“Very dangerous. And familiar....The Winter Soldier...”Natasha muttered frowning thinking about it. Thinking it over as she swallowed thickly. Well aware of what it meant. That the man with the metal arm, was the Winter Soldier, the cold war assassin who’s killed numbered in the hundreds, if not thousands. She knew he had been little more then a lifeless puppet, doing as ordered because he didn’t have enough of a mind left to think, let alone make his own decisions. “Serum?As in, super soldier, like Steve?”She asked before flicking through to find the files.

 

“Are you sure?”Skye said watching her.“Yes. Cap’s first mission pulled him out of a Hydra’s experimental facility. They dosed him with Hydra’s version of the serum. It seems to not have the extreme changes steve’s had, but he did change some, but no one but him and probably Steve know the exact extent of it.”Skye said as she looked over the file.

“Yea. The metal arm proves it. He’s the Soldier. He was Hydra’s favorite toy, I’d call him an assassin but really he’s just a toy. A pet. They wiped his mind so many times that he didn’t have the ability to think, or remember, or feel....”Natasha shuddered. “You’ve seen images of me right?When I was wonder their control? How I was...blank?Empty? He was like that....all the time. That’s about all I really know of him, but I know that as many times as they wiped his mind, parts of him are completely missing. Gone permanently.”Natasha shuddered violently. “James Buchanan Barnes...How did I not realize? This is the guy who...rescued me, and who Steve’s been sulking about for the last year....but why hide it? There’s something more. Bigger....”

“Damn...And yes, I have. It was creepy, to know somewhere under that, there was you. Even if you didn’t know it at the time.”Skye shuddered, wincing at the idea of someone being like that all the time. “He went after you right? When they got you this last time?... You heard Clint and Phil. He values his privac. It must have been something worse then just a hydra assassin....”

“Very creepy. I hate watching it, but I do sometimes...just to...not forget.”Natasha swallowed thickly before nodding. “Yes, he’s the one who saved me....I’m not sure I want to dig into this anymore. What could be worse then all this?”

“It’s good to not forget.”Skye muttered before frowning, thinking about it. “IT might not be worse, but it could be personal. You wish people didn’t know some things. He might be hiding most of it, simply out of a desire to not have people hate them....do you want me to keep digging?”

“Yea...I don’t like forgetting, and I do sometimes....Anna, my therapist, says it’s the mind’s way of coping with highly traumatic experiences.”Natasha sighed quietly before frowning a little, nodding. “This alone would be bad enough to want to keep hidden...no, let’s not dig for now. We can always change our minds later.”Natasha said before smiling. “Thanks for getting all of this for me. I don’t know what it is, but I keep...I keep thinking about him, and I’m afraid of him as I am curious.”


	9. Feels like home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes nightmares hit you when you dream....others are waking nightmares. and all you can hope for is a light in the darkness.
> 
> And well, some steve and tony sexy goodness to offset the serious stuff.

Caesar smirked as he stepped into the club, the half mask and low lighting in the Citadel, doing nothing for the yellowish blue bruise along his jaw, or the careful way he said hello that spoke of pain being hidden. “Did your day get any better after we talked?”He asked, looking worried about the tall blond.

“Caesar?!What happened?”Steve demanding staring at the other, looking over the slight brunette, before pausing. What? Holy fuck. Could it....no. Surely not. Tony?“My day got better. I had a lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. Your day hasn’t seemed to go good at all. Are you sure it’s okay for you to be here with a...broken jaw?Shouldn’t you be in the hospital or something?”

“Got in a fight defending someone’s honor. Sadly, I didn’t get a kiss in return.”Caesar snickered a little before smiling. “No, it didn’t, really, but I defended a helpless female, so that was fun....and it’s just a fractured jaw, not broken. Can’t do anything for it but let it heal.”Because it would be useless to wire it for a few hours, while Extremis fixed it. “Now, are you going to stop worrying and let me boss you around, or make me leave?”

“Someone’s honor?I think your getting into your playacting a little to much there, little emperor.”Steve teased with a chuckle. Very gently pressing his lips to the other, watching his face to make sure he didn’t hurt him.”There. Now you got a kiss.”He sighed relaxing a little at the promise that the other was fine. Looking at he man, he knew Tony, knew that despite everything, he hated doctors, but knew if he tried to force him to go home, he wouldn’t do anything except ignore the order and probably do something worse. Watching the other, he bit his lip, debating. Before deciding to not tell him, at least not yet.

“...I’m nervous....I want this....”Steve said staring at Caesar. At Tony. The two men he trusted most in the world, were the same person. Whatever was he going to do? “How do I...what do you want me to do?”He asked as he followed the other back to the bedrooms.

“Good. And relax.”Tony soothed as he gently rested a hand on the other’s back, guiding him through the room, tilting his head. “Strip and lay down on your stomach.”He said as he started gathering things.

“Okay....”Steve frowned slightly as he started stripping down, unlike Tony, he had no problem stripping all the way down. Unlike the billionaire he had no scars that were easily identifiable.

“you really do have the most perfect ass. Nearly as good as the good Captain’s.”Tony muttered as he clamored up onto the bed with the other, settling into straddling his hips, pouring some massage oil onto him. Smirking as he watched it slide over the other’s back. “Just relax. You said you had a bad day, I’ll make it better, promise.”

“You really think so?What are....ohh....”Steve moaned softly as he felt the other starting to work the knots in his back, shivering a little. “But you had a bad day to...”He muttered even if he was starting to relax into the other’s hands. 

“I do.”Tony said snickering a little before shrugging. “It’s okay though. I like taking care of you.”Tony reassured as he took care of the other. Smirking as he realized just how relaxed the other was under his hands. “Rav?Can I fuck you?Please?”

“uhhh...”Steve whined a little, struggling to focus, before nodding, shivering. “Yes. Please. Yes.”He muttered squirming under the other man, moaning as he felt Tony working him open. He was definitely going to enjoy this.

* * *

“James?”Clint asked as he stepped out of the rec room, frowning slightly as he considered the man walking out of the elevator.

“Hey....Anna said I could meet her here....”James said looking upset, and having not wanted to interrupt Steve’s night with a phone call, he’d grabbed a hold of the only other support he had. The Avengers and Anna.

“Shit, James. What happened?”Natasha said looking the man over as she crossed the room, seeing the shaken and pale man as he toed off his boots.Deciding that for the moment, this was Steve’s best friend, she’d reserve judgment until she knew more.. “sit down. I’ll get some coffee.”

“Just nightmares...Didn’t want to interrupt Steve’s date....”James muttered tensing a little as she made him sit down, even if he didn’t try to move away from her. Settling onto the couch with a sigh. Simply sliding back into the winter soldier’s way of dealing with things. Simply watching the world, silent and braced. 

“here.”Clint said handing James the glass of coffee, staring at him until he started to drink it.

“Thanks.”James muttered.

Natasha scowled a little, looking even more worried. Nightmares that could make a person look like death warmed over? “Are you going to be okay?”

“Fine.Just needed someplace safe...didn’t trust no one to break into Steve’s place....”James muttered, and indeed in the moments, hours after a nightmare, the man was extremely paranoid, even more then he normally was.

“James?You do realize that even I can’t get into Steve’s place right?”Natasha asked him, tilting her head. “When I try, the wall is solid. Anyone who’s not keyed into the system can’t get in. Only you, Fury, and Tony are keyed into the system as far as I know.”

“So he tells me. Don’t care. Someone will get in.”James growled a little.

“Hey, James?You okay?”Anna asked as she moved into, looking rather upset herself.

“Anna?What is it?What’s wrong?”Natasha scowled looking at her worriedly, hating to see her like this. 

“Nothing!....Everything...”Anna shuddered.”I think David left me with more than just emotional scars....”

“Well.Fuck. Here.”Natasha decided, “Sit next to James and snuggle.” 

“What?Happened?”James shifted a little at Natasha’s words, wrapping his arms around Anna as she sat next to him, growling when Natasha and Clint got to close.

“It’s nothing. It’s fine.”Anna protested, sniffling a little.

“Anna was in a extremely abusive relationship up till about two months ago.”Natasha explained softly. “When she didn’t show up for work one day, Tony went to find out why, since she’d never missed before. David had nearly beaten her to death...he’s in prison right now.” 

“Good. He’ll stay there.”James decided, making a mental note to pay the man a visit. Looking even more upset as Anna started to cry, holding onto her tighter.

“Hey....James.Steve has a room here. Go lay down.”Clint said after a moment of watching them, the soft caution in his voice saying they needed to be careful, watching as James gathered Anna in his arms and carried her out, asking Jarvis where to go.”...Damn...”

“It’ll be okay...he’s protecting her. So he wont hurt her, and she could use the comfort.”Natasha said, though it sounded more like she was trying to comfort herself then Clint.

“I wasn’t worried about her...he’s protective of women. I was worrying about whoever decides to try and talk to him next....Really.”Clint said glancing at Natasha. “She’s safe with him, he goes out of his way to protect women, even more so when he cares for them. But he’s going to be dangerous till we can get Steve down here, or Tony, but both of them went out tonight.”

“Well, that will be no one for awhile. Steve should be back about midnight or so. I’ll text him five till, and make sure he comes here if James hasn’t calmed down by then.”

* * *

Anna sniffled a little as she was settled into bed, eyes widening slightly as she felt the edge of the shield digging into her back as James tucked her close to him, between his body and the shield, she was nearly completely hidden. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t be crying all over you...I don’t even know for sure...I’m sorry....are you okay?”She asked, blinking up at him. “You had a nightmare?”

 

“Hm, your not the first person to cry all over me, though usually it’s Stevie.”James snickered a little, though she knew he was trying hard to not sound as upset and strained as he was feeling. “Don’t worry about it....and well....let’s find out for sure then.I’m sure one of the girls have a test.”James said knowing Jarvis would see about asking one of the girls if they were home. “..I did....”he sighed quietly, shifting, settling her closer. Trying to figure out how to explain without outright lying to her, or telling her who he was. He was sorta enjoying being just a normal guy.”I....I couldn’t save my ex...I dreamed about it. Losing her all over again.”

“Oh James...”Anna muttered picking up his free hand pressing a kiss to his palm.”No matter what happened, you did your best, and that’s all you can ever ask for. Sometimes people are meant to move on to better places....She’s happy now, I’m sure. And doesn’t that mean something?”

“I did....And yes. I’m sure she’s happy.”James muttered shuddering a little. And indeed, he did think she was a in better place, with better people, even if it hurt to see. He thought she was better off never remembering the pain and loss that went along with knowing him, even if it made him want to scream.

“It will always hurt, but someday you’ll be able to think back on her and smile. Knowing you had a good life with her. You’ll remember the good things, instead of the bad, then you’ll start to remember her with fondness instead of guilt or pain.”

“here Anna.”Natasha said opening the door, but staying there when she saw the tense super soldier, tossing the box to her.”You okay?”

“I’m fine.”Anna promised catching the box. “You guys want anything?”

“Chocolate?”

“And coffee.”James added.

“Sure thing.”Natasha smiled as she left, Anna getting up after a moment and heading for the bathroom.

Frowning when he heard crying James edged into the bathroom, the duplicate shield gripped in his hand, he was upset and off balance, he wasn’t going to be going anywhere unarmed for awhile. While this shield wasn’t as strong as the original, it was perfect for this sort of thing. Looking her over he knelt at her feet, leaning the shield against the tub. “Hey. Don’t cry. You’re not alone. I’ll help, Kay?”He said looking up at her anxiously, so anxious and upset that you knew it wasn’t truly her that he was seeing, memories in those dark eyes as he sought to make her feel better. Memories and dreams leaving him even more vulnerable then normal to a upset woman, the shields down enough that he couldn’t hide behind sarcasm and jokes.

“But I can’t take care of a baby. I don’t want to be pregnant with his baby!He used to lock me in the closet!when I tried to get away!”Anna admitted with a hiccup.”I’m not fit to be a m-mother.”She informed him before looking startled.”Y-you don’t even know me. I can’t ask you to help me like that James...”

“I’m fairly certain you can. If I can and not kill it or myself, I’m fairly certain you can take care of a baby.”James said with a slight smile as he sat at her feet, resting his head against her knee as he looked up at her. “Then be pregnant with mine. Ignore whoever donated the sperm. He wont be involved. Be pregnant with my kid.”James shrugged a little before making a face at her. “You didn’t ask me to. I’m volunteering.”He said looking away, staring at the floor, sounding so hurt and pained as he spoke again. “I wanted a family...I didn’t get a chance to really have one.....but we could make one. I mean, yea we don’t know each other, but the people who know us best, think we’re good together....and I...I want somewhere to belong again. Stevie doesn’t need me...I’m not a avenger anymore...”He shrugged, not even realizing he’d admitted to being the former Captain. “Or a soldier anymore....I...this could give me a place. A new role to belong to. A father....and you like me don’t you?We could just go day to day.”

“You could never hurt a baby. I know that even if I’ve only known you for a little while.”Anna admitted, starting to feel better.”Wh...what?”Anna stared at him. “You...you would....”She blinked at him, looking stunned. Who even made people like him anymore? “I...I think I’d like that. I really do think I’d enjoy that...yes...we’ll say it’s your baby.”She agreed, giving him a watery smile, settling into his lap with a sigh.

“Yea, well I wasn’t always me. Or great at taking care of breakable things.”He muttered nodding a little. “There’s...things you need to know, before you really decide, but yes, I would like that.”James smiled at her, pleased with the knowledge that this, at least was his. Feeling gutted that he was basically writing off ever having the real life he wanted again but....he was going to try and be happy with what he had.

* * *

“Hey Clint. What’s going on?”Steve asked as he stepped out of the elevator, looking worried even if he was looking relaxed and content to.

“Hey. James had a nightmare, paranoid bastard that he is, decided your place wasn’t safe enough, so he came to the tower, called Anna to talk and meet her here. But she’s having a hard night to, found out she might be pregnant with the bastard’s kid....he locked them both in your room and wont come out. And isn’t accepting anymore getting closer then the door. Figured it was best to let you talk to him.”

“Is he being dangerous?”Tony asked as he walked in behind Steve.

“Not particularly. We’ve not gotten close to him or Anna, simply giving him space. He’s just being himself.”Clint shrugged, though he was worried.

“Damn...is she okay? Has she taken the test?”

“Don’t know. I loaned her one of Pepper’s. He asked for coffee and she wanted chocolate.”Natasha said holding out the two cups. One full of coffee exactly how James liked it, and the other full of Italian hot chocolate that was much thicker then the American counterpart.

“Thanks.”Steve muttered as he headed for his bedroom, knowing on the door. “James? It’s Steve. Can I come in? I have coffee and hot chocolate.”

“Kay. You can come in.”James said as he settled into the tub with her, the shield tucked over her, hiding her between himself and the tub nearly completely. 

“....Why are we laying in the bathtub?”Anna asked after a moment as Steve came in, frowning. Having just realized where he’d moved them to lay down.

Steve chuckled as he carefully set the tray in reach, without getting to close. “It’s gonna be okay, James. We all adore Anna. She wont go through this alone. We’ll all help her. When you and her a feeling calmer, Bruce is ready for a checkup, you know, just to see how far along she is.....do you need anything else?”

“It’s safe, and easy to defend, and you were sitting in here.”James muttered, blushing slightly, growling at Steve, but not really upset, even like this, he trusted Steve. “It’s mine. We’re going to be a family together. We’ll be okay.....we’ll rest and be down in the morning.”He decided getting up slowly, carrying her into the bedroom and settling them both in bed. Shaking his head as he took the coffee from Steve. “No, I’m good....just rest is what we need.”he said starting to unwind.

“Bambi?I know we didn’t have the best education in the world, but you can’t get pregnant in a single day. Well, you can, but they wont show it.”

“Yes you can. We had a obscene amount of sex you know.”James said smirking at his best friend.

“He’s well aware of that.”Anna said with a quiet snicker. “He’s offering to claim to be the father.”

“Oh!”Steve smiled sheepishly, tilting his head. “right. I knew that. I was just testing you.”Steve said before sighing, agreeing with the plan, knowing it was useless to try and get them down there tonight.”Try and get some rest yourself okay?”

“You are such a geek, Cap.”James teased snickering, “And I will.”He promised, wincing as Anna nearly dropped the cup as she started to fall asleep. Catching it he sighed handing it over to Steve with a quiet smile.

“You’re staying here with her right?Here, scoot up a bit.”Steve said smiling as he waited for the other to move. Smiling as he tucked them into bed. “There you go. Sleep.”

“I’m not five again you know.”James muttered rolling his eyes even as he shifted, snuggling down into the bed.

“Shut up you nerd. You’re five. You’re always five.”Steve said with a snicker as he headed out, flipping the light out with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to put what song is this title of the chapter:
> 
> Well, today's is, 'feels like home' by Chantal Kreviazuk


	10. Memories

Tony rolled his eyes a little as he glanced over the edge of his tablet, “You know, I’d find this anxious pacing amusing, if I wasn’t sure I’d get kicked in the balls for it.”He said watching James prowl the lab, glancing at Steve. Worried for the brunette super soldier, who’d been kicked out of the med lab while Anna had her exam for being overly emotional and what he suspected was probably glaring at the Hulk while he worked. 

“I can still kick you.”James growled as he glanced at the two.

Steve chucked a little from his normal seat on the couch, drawing on his pad and paper, humming softly to himself as he worked. “He will kick you Tony. And I’ll laugh to if he does.”The captain informed him before sighing. “James?Hold still for a second, I can’t get your eyes right.”

“No he w-”Tony yelped whining as James kicked his chair. “Stop it!”

“Okay, carry on.”Steve said rolling his eyes a little as James kicked the chair. 

“Are you drawing to make sure you have a wanted poster if I go missing again?”

“Oh no, we have pictures for that. That all say lost puppy, return to agent romanoff if found.”

“....I can bury you Stark, so deep and well that no one will ever find the body.”

“But you wont. It’d upset Steve.”Tony said, even if he backed off some. He knew when to step away, and when he could push. After nearly two years of working with him, the two sarcastic bastards had developed a good working relationship that suited them both.

“No, I just don’t want to forget your face again.”Steve admitted. He’d forgotten, during all his time on the ice, what his best friend looked like. It was only when the other had returned that Steve could remember better. “And well, it would be upsetting, but as long as James dug you back up before you actually died....”

“You’re not helping Steve.”Tony grumbled.

“See, it wasn’t that long,Bambi.”Steve teased, looking up at the other with a smile when Jarvis reported that Bruce had finished and James was allowed back into the room. Watching James go, Steve sighed softly. “I wonder when he’s going to realize he’s fallen head over heels in love with Anna?”

“Not soon. And he’s going to lose it when he does.”Tony muttered, well aware that for James, the mental agony of knowing he loved someone else, was going to cause problems.

“If we’re really lucky, it wont end in someone dying.”

* * *

“James.”Bruce tilted his head as the man walked in, smiling slightly. “The baby is about a month old. So it is mostly likely the result of the last day with....it.”Here Bruce sneered, rage flashing in his eyes. So disgusted and furious with David that he wouldn’t even refer to him as male. For Bruce, David was a ‘it.’ “She’s actually doing very well physically speaking, and emotionally she’s doing much better then expected. I think because of your promise to help her, so thank you for that.”

“We assumed it was.”James said moving over, and settling onto the exam table next to Anna, hovering but not quite cuddling her. “No thanks are needed. I’m doing it as much for myself, as for her.”he said tilting his head. Knowing Bruce understood better then most, what it had cost him to walk away from Natasha, since he to had walked away from love. “Anything we should know?I mean,care and stuff?”He added after a moment, despite his past, he hadn’t been around a pregnant woman in years, so he was nervous.

“No James, you’re doing it for her. No matter how much you try to hide it.”Bruce smiled slightly. “That you’re happy with the arrangement means very little to you and we both know it....She’s going to need prenatal vitamins and she’ll want to star drinking extra milk, or taking calcium supplements, other then that no. At this stage of pregnancy there’s not much that needs doing. Just stay as active as you always are and don’t take any hard blows to the stomach, and you’ll be fine.”Bruce said tilting his head at Anna. “We’ll schedule another in about a month. If you start feeling sick, dizzy, have any sharp pains in the stomach or back, chronic headaches, or convulsions, tell me immediately.”

“Maybe.”James muttered, not willing to admit it was just for Anna that he was doing it, even if he was going to be benefiting from it. Biting his lip as he considered everything, nodding slowly. “Okay. That’s easy enough.”He muttered relaxing, glad to know that there wasn’t anything they needed to do yet. 

“Fairly easy indeed. As the pregnancy progresses it might become a little more challenging, but for now, just treat her as if she’s not pregnant or she might cut your balls off.”

“Nah, she enjoys sex to much for that.”James snickered a little pressing a kiss to Anna’s head.

“Wont stop her from maiming you though.”Bruce pointed out.

“I do enjoy sex.”

 

“You especially enjoy sex with me. She wont maim me, I’d sulk, and I’m to adorable to maim when I sulk.”James said with a snicker. Nudging Anna a little James smiled. “Come on. It’s nice out. Let’s go for a walk.”

Anna giggled a little, shaking her head slightly before perking up. “Like a date?I’m in.”She agreed hopping off the exam table. “I feel in the mood for a salad. I know just where to go.”

“Yes like a date, there’s a few things we need to talk about.”James said smiling as we followed her out. “We’ll get it to go, it’s nice out. We can eat in the park.”

“Okay....and just as a warning. I’m a professional psychologist specializing in mental trauma, abuse, torture and brain wipes. So I might slip into ‘Doctor mode on accident.”She said watching his face as they left.

* * *

James smiled a little as he settled at the table, a near feast of food spread out in front of him. Now that he was actually eating as much as he needed to to keep up with his metabolism, the man was always hungry. “Well...We’ll start off with something simple. My real name is James ‘Bucky’ Buchanan Barnes, of the 107th, and second in command of the howling commandos....though I think at this point it’s just me and steve left...”

“Oh, Monty is still alive. As old as dirt, but still going strong. Steve goes to visit him all the time. Him and Peggy are both in the same nursing home.”Anna said not truly reacting to the knowledge of who he was.

“I’ll have to go see them.”James muttered frowning slightly, before going still, staring at her. “You knew who I was. What gave me away?”He said before shuddering a little. 

“I think they’d like seeing you. Peggy asks for you all the time I’ve heard. She seems to think Steve shouldn’t be going anywhere without Bucky.”She smiled before shrugging. “Nothing that someone who hasn’t heard Steve complain about you for the last year and a half would pick up. It was a few clues. The biggest is that you’re living with Steve. And the fact that he complained for a hour about how you just randomly pop into places without his permission. No one can get into his place but you and Tony I think.”

“He shouldn’t. He gets into all kinds of trouble without me.”James smirked a little before sighing. “I guess...you know what came after to. My time as the Soldier...then Cap...then back to the Soldier...”He swallowed thickly. This was the hardest part of admitting to her. “Natasha....Natasha’s missing memories. It’s me. The only thing she’s missing....is our life together.”

“Oh...You were the one who went and pulled her out.”Anna stared stunned. “She’s missing more then you though. She’s missing the red room and hydra, and years now and then. Everything is still coming back...she wont remember until she wants to.”

“I was....and no. It’s me.Because everything in the red room and hydra...was part of a life she had with me. We built one in blood and fire, together.”He shuddered a little. “She doesn’t want to remember that, and I didn’t push it, so she’s not remembering...I’m okay with it. She’s happier, and I’m the only one missing what we had.”

“I’m so sorry...”Anna said reaching out, gently touching his hand. “Are you sure you can’t reconnect with her? You still love her allot, right?Shouldn’t you try?”

James stared down at their hands, shrugging. “She’s happy. Happier then we were together. I wont...wont ruin that. Not when she doesn’t remember.”James sighed gently pulling away. “I do. Which is why I’m letting go.”He added. So in love, that he was blindly doing what he thought was best. 

“And when she does remember? Because she will, someday. And probably soon. Even now, her mind if unblocking itself, even if she doesn’t want to know, she is starting to. Will you push her away and hurt her?”

“...When she remembers. She wont want me.”James said simply, shaking his head a little. “We should get back. I know Stevie worries if I disappear on him.”He said as he started gathering their trash, not wanting to talk anymore.

“Okay James...”Anna sighed standing worried about him, before nodding. “We really shouldn’t leave him alone anyways, people do dumb things unless I’m there to stop them.”Anna said following him.

“He really does do stupid things when he’s left on his own. I mean, crashing a plane, whosoever bright idea was that.”He muttered mostly to himself as they headed for the tower, smiling slightly at her laughter. For the moment, the trauma of Natasha not knowing, pushed aside.


	11. Injuries and snooping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gets hurt, and James freaks out and awesomeness ensues.

“Nat!”Clint cursed as he caught the petite fist in his hand, tightening his hold as she fought him, wincing as she forced his arm close enough that she actually hit him in the face. “Natasha!Wake up!”

“No!let me go!Let me go!”Natasha screamed struggling against the hands trying to force her back into the chair, forcing her to hold still, before blinking slowly. Frowning.”C-Clint?”

“Yea it’s mine. You’re safe. Stop fighting sweetheart.”Clint muttered slowly relaxing his hands letting her go slowly.

Natasha trembled a little as she tucked her face against his chest, trembling a little as he leaned into her. “I’m sorry...so sorry...you were dead....all of you....they were taking me away. They were going to make me a puppet again...I couldn’t fight. I couldn’t stop them....I’m sorry!”

“We’re not. We’re not dead and we’re not going anywhere. Phil’s to stubborn, and no one pays attention to me. We’re here, and you are to.”Clint muttered wrapping his arms around her as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

“Okay...okay...”Natasha whispered trying to calm herself now that she knew it had only been a dream. It was hard though, so hard to relax, to let herself go back to sleep. Sighing quietly she looked up as Phil stepped in, having been alerted by Jarvis something was wrong.

“Come on. You and Melinda can spar.”Phil said studying her, knowing she’d feel better after a good hard spar that reminded her how capable she really was.

“yea...okay...”

“You want me to ask Steve to? You can put a super soldier through his paces.”James said as he sat up, smiling a little as they changed into workout clothes.

“Yes. Steve to. He’s gotten to confident lately.”

“Me first of course.”Phil said snickering a little.

“Not you. I can’t beat you.”Natasha complained scowling.”And I still can’t believe that I can’t.”

“Well, I was trained by the best.”Phil said smiling. Peggy herself had trained him. Though no one but Natasha, Phil, Clint, and Fury knew that he’d signed in for the super soldier experiments that had happened after the war, had only gained a slowed aging, though considering Banner’s results, it was probably a good thing.

“He was indeed. He’s got the super agent thing down pat. Just get it over with, and we’ll let you beat the rest of us.”Clint snickered a little as they headed down to the gym, amused that within a few minutes Steve came in, with Tony trailing after like a lost puppy. It was amusing that even on his days off, the current director could find himself with a tag along of the former one.

“Shut up. You’re not allowed to speak words.”Natasha declared smirking at Clint as she slid into the ring.

“Ohhh, tony. You’re in for a treat.”Steve stated smirking at Tony, knowing the man had never seen Phil in a fight. “Phil, don’t break her arm this time.” 

“really?Why?”Tony said frowning before looking at the two as they started sparring. “What?Natasha loses?”

“To Phil?Yea.”Clint muttered, eyes widening a little as the fight started and started within a few minutes. Natasha flat on her back as Phil straddled her, fist aimed at her neck with a grin and one arm pinned under a knee, keeping the other pinned with the opposite hand and a knee to the sternum. “Do you give up?”Phil asked entirely to smug for Natasha’s liking, eyes turning to horror when he heard bone cracking, scrambling up of her as Steve called for Bruce.

“Don’t move.”Clint ordered as he and Tony moved over, kneeling down to keep her from moving until Bruce got there.

“I broke her ribs.”Phil grimaced swallowed hard, as he looked down at her.

“Well, at least it wasn’t my arm.”

“I’m so sorry, Nat.”

“It’s okay. My fault. I tried to do that move....”

“You mean the one that only people with no spines can do?”

“...Phil?When have you ever met a person with no spine?”Tony asked looking interested.

“Several times actually. They were half plant though, so I’m not surprised.”

“You’re a dick.”Natasha rolled her eyes a little. 

“I am, yes.”He said.

“Hey, Jarvis said everyone was dow-”

Tony bolted to his feet from the crouch he’d been in when he heard the tone and the words, already the gold and red encasing his forearm as he moved to stop the super soldier, pushing him back. And despite the suit, he was having problems holding a super soldier still, especially one who wanted at the group behind him, wincing as the punch rocked his head to the side. “Steve?”

Steve blinked, startled for a moment, before moving to James as Bruce edged around the three fighting. “I got him.”Steve promised as he grabbed James and took him down, so used to fighting him, he knew how to. Pinning him on his stomach he knelt on the other’s back, pinning him. “That’s enough. Natasha has a broken rib.”

“Two.”Bruce said, knowing better then to lie to the super soldier. “She’ll be in pain but so long as she takes it easy for about a week, she wont have any real problems? You can sit up Natasha, I have to wrap your ribs....Nat?”

James snarled from where he was pinned, starting to push up before stopping, unlike Natasha, he didn’t want to hurt himself. Still at Bruce’s words he turned his head to look at the woman, before slumping into the floor.

Natasha meanwhile was staring at James baffled as he watched her. “Why’s he doing that? He doesn’t know me at all does he?”

 

“Uh....That’s a question for him...you should talk to him.”Tony said after a moment, tilting his head. Not wanting to lie to his friend, but not wanting to tell her either.

“It’s because you look like someone he lost.”Steve said looking at her, while it was a lie, it wasn’t exactly a lie either. Even if he knew that she was starting to remember, starting to question things, forcing James to confront things before he was ready, would just make it worse. Looking down at the man pinned under his knee, he swallowed hard. “You gonna behave?”

“I always behave”James muttered before nodding slowly. “I promise not to hurt him.”

“You do not always behave you liar. And good. Because it wasn’t his fault not really.”

“You’re mistaking me for you, I always behave. You’re the one who crashes planes, gets frozen, gets into civil wars, becomes commander...you just can’t stay out of trouble.”

“Jerk.”

Bruce rolled his eyes at the bickering as Steve let the brunette up, tilting his head slightly. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m okay.”James said before pushing Steve’s shoulder a little. “Food. I want some.”

“Didn’t you just go get food?”Tony frowned watching him, looking bemused.

“Yea, but I was promised a team dinner sometime, and if I make Cap cook it, I can take a nap while he does it, instead of having to help.”James said as he headed for the door, despite the flash of temper, he was back to ignoring Natasha.

“Fine, you bottomless pig. I’ll feed you cat litter sandwiches and dirt pies.”Steve said as they left.

“You eat as much as I do.”

“....Cat litter and dirt?”tony questioned, looking disturbed as they headed for the kitchen.

“Yes cat litter and dirt pies.”Steve agreed with a smirk as they got to the kitchen, starting to gather food. Cat litter was actually tuna fish, and dirt pie was chocolate cream pie made with a Oreo crust. It was from their gross kid stage, when they tried to think of nastier and nastier things to make the girls ill. “And I eat more actually.”

“...I don’t think I want to talk to you people anymore.”Tony said looking disgusted even as he settled onto the bar stool at the island to watch Steve cook.

“Of course you do.”Steve stated, smiling as he started making sandwiches and pie.

“you know, we’re going to have to do that again. Anna wants to see us wrestling sometime.”James snickered, knowing it would appeal to his nympho of a girlfriend to see two pretty men tangled together. And because it amused him to freak Steve out sometimes.

“...uh...she wants us to what now?”

“Wrestling. Naked preferably. Apparently, two hot guys wrestling is something she wants to see. I’m dating a nympho, Stevie.”

“I’m not naked wrestling you. Nuh-uh. Ewe.”Steve said before smiling, blushing a little. “Yea well, so am I. Okay. Not yet. I haven’t asked him yet, but we have a lot of sex, so it’s like dating.”This was the first time he’d spoken of Caesar to anyone but James, and it made him blush.

“It would be awkward, but we’d get so laid.”

“You two would be rich if you sold that as porn.”Tony said snickering a little as he looked at Steve with curiosity. 

“It sounds like your dating. That just sounds awkward.”

“Well, we do talk about our day while we fuck....and we kind date when we sit in the hotel lobby and drink..does that count?

“Yes it counts.”

“He uh...doesn’t know who I am. Not really....it’s nice just being me and I forgot....”

“Well, eventually he’ll know.”Tony said looking concerned about the man.

“I’m a little scared to tell him, to be honest. I don’t want him to think I’ve been lying to him....I guess it doesn’t matter. I have to ask him out on a actual date first, maybe.”

“Well, take it from someone who’s been caught lying to everyone under the sun. He’ll forgive you, as long as he knows the reasons. I mean, I’m sorta known for not wanting anyone to know who I am during sex, but I kinda fail considering I’m me. If I could have sex and not have to deal with all the anxiety of someone knowing everything I’ve done, I’d totally get why someone else would want to.”Tony shrugged, because he really was hoping Raven’d forgive him for lying eventually. 

“It’s a bit different Tony. Everyone knows who you are. I guess I should just tell him but what if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he leaves me? I don’t think I could take it...”Steve shuddered at the idea of Tony leaving. Of Tony never coming into the office to bother him or beg him for food, or a lab rat to help with a experiment. 

“You’ll just have to chance it then...”

“You should totally take him on the carrier, do the whole ‘I’m king of the world’ thing while having sex in your office, you’re death defying dare devil would probably enjoy it.”James teased a little, because even without knowing Caesar, he knew his friend, knew what kind of guy appealed to him, and watching Tony change interesting colors amused him.

“....and no, I don’t think he’d like that, though desk sex has promise.. maybe I should sneak him onto the helicarrier?”Steve said, already planning that. He could convince Caesar he was certain, it was just coming up with a good lie since he wasn’t quite ready to tell Caesar he knew who he was.

“And desk sex always has promise, though if you do, you should replace the desk. And your chair.”

“Tony?” 

“What?He kept my desk and chair. I figured it’s only kind telling him to replace things.”Tony shrugged a little even as his eyes glazed over some, for a moment his attention turned inward.

* * *

I changed my mind. Something big is going on, and most everyone is hiding it. I want to know what, and I want to know why.”Natasha said as she knocked on Skye’s door, frowning at the woman when she answered.”Also...ow. Do you have any painkillers in here?”

“Any ideas what exactly is being hidden? I mean, it’d be easier to look if I knew where to start.”Skye said already moving back into the room to get the laptop, looking worried as she glanced at the other. “Yea, there’s some in the bathroom. What did you do?”

 

“No...Yes. I think I knew him personally. He seems to familiar and he threw a fit when he saw I was hurt. He actually tried to attack Phil. Not that it would have ended well.”Natasha said as she dug out the painkillers before slumping onto the bed next to Skye. “Phil put me in that damn hold of his, the one he doesn’t have a name for? I tried to do a twisting move I’d seen someone else pull on him and snapped two ribs. Apparently, the person he was fighting didn’t have a spine, or ribs, or bones of any kind so they didn’t have to worry, whereas, I did.”

“What?he tried attacking Phil?”Skye said looking worried despite knowing Phil could take care of himself before laughing a little.”Yea I know that move. Owww..”Skye said making a face as she looked through the files she’d dug out, chewing on her lip as she thought about it. She knew she was going to get in trouble, raiding Tony’s personal computer, but she knew if he and Steve were hiding things, there was only one place a paranoid Tony Stark would keep things, in his own head. Hopefully he wouldn’t realize Skye was hacking through his computer until it was to late to stop them. Pausing as she found a picture, tilting her head as she studied it for a moment, before tilting it to let Natasha see. “Still looking for other stuff, but there is this.”

“Tony were already moving to stop him before he even noticed I was hurt. They knew he was going to react to it.”Natasha said before sighing, staring at the picture. While he looked different with his hair long, it was a good picture of them both sitting at the computer, Natasha obviously snugged up in his lap, the man resting his chin on her shoulder as he read whatever they were looking at on the computer, scanning the rest of the information. “...I do know him...He trained me in the red room and then rescued me personally when I was taken again....he lived here. In the tower, with me for a year and a half after becoming Cap. I helped save his life when he was sent to the Russian Gulag, we....”She startled as the computer went blank with a big red X surrounded by a circle. “...we were going to get married....”She sounded stunned as she stared at the blank screen.

“He went after you.....they said he’d lost someone who looked like you. He didn’t. He lost you.”Skye said watching Natasha before wincing at the box that popped over the text. 

_Stop, or I will tell him what you two are doing. He wont appreciate it, and I really, really don’t appreciate you two digging in my stuff._

“Stupid extremis. Can’t hide anything from the genius.”Skye complained making a face even as she started logging out, before really making sense of what the other had said, looking stunned. “Are you sure?”

“Yes....he asked me to marry him. I remember....when they captured me, I hid the ring. Come on...”Natasha moved to get up before sighing relaxing back into the bed. “Maybe after a nap.”

“rest.”Skye smiled leaving the other woman alone as she settled into her living room, leaving Natasha alone with her thoughts.

Natasha sighed as she closed her eyes as she settled in to rest. Well, at least she had part of her answer. James was avoiding her because he loved her, but she couldn’t remember him. Was that why he was dating Anna? Because she had a superficial similarity? No....it was a one night stand according to Pepper, so what? Was it because Anna needed him? That sounded plausible. Was Natasha okay with breaking them up when Anna clearly needed him? Perhaps more unconventional methods? Being that James and Anna were nymphos she couldn't see them saying no to a threesome, even if she wasn’t to fond of women she could put in a effort. Did she want that though? Did she want to be with James? What if he was different? She knew for sure he was. What if they didn’t work together anymore? But if that was so, could she truly walk away from a man she had obviously loved even if she didn’t remember him?

Huffing out a sigh, she settled back to sleep, shoving the thoughts away.

* * *

Steve stared at tony for a long moment fore growling. “Those assholes. They assured me they’d replaced those with new ones!”The man whined even as he dialed his phone. “PHIL! I need a new desk and chair. Mine have been contaminated with lady sex!”

So he didn’t care that Tony had used them, he just cared that naked women had been on them, tony giggled a little at the idea even as he focused on the women in the the other room.

“is Skye hacking your systems again?”Steve said knowing the look, and knowing Skye did it every once in awhile, just to see if she could.

“It amuses me that you’re more worried about the women than Tony’s bare ass on the desk.”James teased.

“Yes she is.”Tony said after a moment before focusing again. “And Shield can be cheap bastards. You have to keep after your underlings to make sure they actually spent the money...”

“very cheap...I should make Phil send me pictures. Just to make sure he’s actually buying new ones...And hey, Tony’s kind of cute.”Steve said waving his spoon at James. “And he doesn’t have breasts or places that bleed every month for no reason.”

“You should make him take a picture. And I’m more then kinda cute!”

“You’re right. He’s sorta cute like that puppy you tried to get your mom to adopt. All gangly and notched up.”

“Nah. He’s like those ugly rat dogs. Cute, but also kinda creepy. Chinese crested, you know?”Steve said before grinning. “Besides, that puppy was adorable!It’s not it’s fault it was hit by the car.”Steve sighed thinking of the puppy that he’d finally convinced his mother to adopt, only to have it die. “We should totally get a dog.”Steve said looking amused.

“He is like that rat dog.”

“I am not creepy!”

“I know it was you who sent me, ‘Cap does America’, Stark.”

“What?I thought you’d want to know what people thought you were doing these days.”

“You know, only you actually think me and Cap were doing things.”James said before smiling a little.

“I think James should get a dog. He’s going to be a dad, he needs a dog.”Tony decided, changing the subject before Steve could question things, smirking slightly.

“Cap does what now?”Steve asked refusing to be distracted. “And yes, we’ll get James and Anna a dog. We’ll stop at the pet store on the way home.”

“Cap does America.”James said smirking as Tony bolted for the door.

“Sorry. Gotta go. Lab work and all.”

“Stark shared porn with me. It’s was both creepy, amusing and disturbing.”James said snickering as he watched Tony go, utterly pleased with the idea of having a dog.

“.....I regret asking now.”Steve said shaking his head a little as he started pulling both the pies and tuna casserole out of the oven.

“I’ll go round up everyone.”James said as Steve finished the food, smiling as he slipped off his seat. Heading for the hall.

“Careful, Natasha has a flinch reaction when she’s hurt!”Steve called after him, knowing he already knew that.


	12. Sometimes, everything happens around dinner

James smirked a little as he knocked on the door, hearing the slight thunk of knives hitting the back of the door.

“Who is it?I was sleeping dammit!Someone get me more pain pills. The good ones! The ones Bruce wont let me have anymore!”Natasha said even as she pulled open the door. “Oh. It’s the crazy man. I was hoping you were Phil, he always brings me the good drugs.”

“No drugs, but I come bearing news of food.”James said before making a face. “And I’m not crazy, just not sane either. Clint and Phil stepped out to take care of getting Steve some furniture.”

“No, you’re insane. You tried attacking Phil, that’s a stupid move. They went to buy what?”She frowned confused before it melted into amusement. “They tricked Steve into getting getting a new chair didn’t they?”

“No, Tony tricked Steve into getting new furniture. Claimed no one bothered to replace his sex addled stuff when he was ousted as director, so Steve demanded new stuff so there was no girly germs on it.”

“It amuses me very much how afraid of women Steve is. The more girly they are, the more terrified he is.”

“I know. It’s quite adorable and amusing, and it was so much worse when he was tiny and got dragged on double dates.”James snickered a little. 

“That poor man. You must have been horrible to live with. Especially since you could pick him up and make him do anything you wanted....must have made the sex interesting at least.”Natasha teased, enjoying simply talking to him, even if standing there talking was making her ribs hurt.

“I am never horrible to live with. I’m amazing, he’s the pain in the ass. So many fights and-What?”James paused, staring at her. “I don’t like Cap like that. Or any guy really.”

“I bet you were horrible to live with. I bet you put your cold feet on people and leave the toilet seat up....What?Really?I was sure that you and Steve had a thing.”

“Probably, and no we weren’t. Anyways,I figured I’d better come and help you to the table, since you’re hurt.”James said, wanting to take care of her, which meant getting her sitting down, no matter how much he was enjoying talking to her.

“I have broken ribs, that doesn’t mean I’m a invalid.”Natasha complained as she stalked towards the kitchen ignoring the chuckling of the man following after her.

“Stubborn căţea”James muttered rolling his eyes a little, the words for hellcat falling easily from his lips, a habit so long ingrained when she was being stubborn, that he did it without thinking.

“Bastard волк.”Natasha muttered back, flushing slightly at the response of wolf falling from her lips. Looking at the lean and deadly man, so fiercely protective of his ‘pack’, she knew why she’d called him that, even if it made her blush to think about it, even without the whole memories to go with it, she knew he was a stubborn bastard bent on protecting his people. Startling a little as Clint slid into the seat next to her.

“Sleep well?”Clint muttered as he kissed her cheek.

“Yea. I hear you went shopping?Without me.Did you get me anything?”Natasha complained, looking amused a little.

“Of course I bought you something.”

“Good!I’d hate to have to have to punish you.”She teased.

“A sex swing and lingerie doesn’t count as something for her, you know.”James quipped instinctively, tilting his head, smiling as he sat down just as Anna walked in. Reaching out and tugging the woman into the seat next to him, snuggling into her a little, even as he settled in to start eating. For once, not even thinking better of talking to Natasha, as if simply by being near Anna, he was relaxing.

Natasha blinked slowly before looking at Clint/.”You got me a sex swing?”

“Really?He got you a sex swing?”Anna asked, looking delightedly amused as she yawned.

“No we did not!”Phil huffed, looking amused as he helped Steve pass out the food.

“You just ruined the fun, Phil.”Clint pouted a little as he started to eat.

“So, what did you buy?”James said looking interested.

“A new desk and a mattress since she said ours was getting worn out.”

“I’m sure it is.”Tony snickered from across the table, amused.

“So you didn’t get me a sex swing?Now I’m sad, but I guess a new mattress is okay.”

“No I didn’t, but I’ll go out after dinner and get one if you want. And I didn’t get one cause Phil wouldn’t let me go to the sex store. Said we had to make sure Cap’s desk and chair got to his office.”

“I want one. Get it.”

“No sex until your ribs heal.”Bruce said watching them all in amusement.

“No sex?What did she do to deserve that?”Anna said looking startled, she’d been napping since her and James got back, so she hadn’t known about the injury.

“Broken ribs.”Natasha grumbled a little.

“She forgot she had a spine, and tried to do a impossible move.”James explained with a smile, before starting to eat. Needing the food to distract himself.

“She has a bit of a dominance issue. She hates losing so bad she’d rather hurt herself then accept defeat. Good for staying alive, bad for friendly spars.”

“Hopefully she’s learned a lesson from this.”James said looking amused though.

“Of course I didn’t learn my lesson. I never do.”Natasha snickered as she wolfed down the food, and standing. “Anyways, I have someplace to be. Later losers.”She said glancing at her watch as she headed for the door.

“...Where’s she going?”Tony asked looking curious as he watched the assassin go.

“No idea.”Clint shrugged not overly worried about it, if he needed to know, she’d tell him later.

“Come on Cap. We better go if we want to get to the pet store before it closes.”James pointed out as he stood, full and happy.

“See you later guys.”Steve called as the two super soldiers headed out into the night.


	13. Fru fru and rings

Steve was quiet until they got out into the open air, the helmet settled on his head before he spoke. “Caesar is tony.”Steve said, informing the other super soldier with the sadistic glee of watching James nearly stall out the Black Shadow out of shock.

“Caesar?As in your pretty boytoy of a emperor? Tony Stark? Is that why you were giving him hints about not knowing him?”James asked as he straightened the bike, following Steve through the traffic. “You’re enjoying knowing it’s him aren’t you?”

“Yes, Caesar my boytoy. And yes. That’s why I was giving him hints. I’m hoping to soften the blow a little when he finds out.”Steve sighed a little as they got to the brightly lit petco, “Yes, I am. It’s so rare that I know something Tony doesn’t.”

“This is going to go so badly....And I’m sure it is. Tony is just a know it all.”James said snickering as they headed inside. 

“It’s going to go very badly but he’ll forgive me eventually. I hope.”

“It will. I mean, he does like you. Otherwise he’d simply refuse to interact with you. I know how much shit he gets for still going to shield when he’s the former director.”He pointed out. Despite being forgiven for it, he was still sneered at for being the man who oversaw the registration and the war. Tony willingly subjected himself to see people he hated, simply to visit Steve more.

“You’re right-Oh hell....”Steve said looking around at the puppies in their pens, realizing they were in trouble in deciding now. “Well....let’s see which one you like, then we’ll see which one I like....”

“Okay then.”James said snickering as he stepped over the railing to the pens, crouching down. Within moments he was surrounded by puppies of all kinds, all wanting attention as they crowded close, making the super soldier look a little lost on how to choose one.

“No James, you cannot have them all.”Steve said looking amused at the sight of the other super soldier sitting on the floor, with a lapful of dogs demanding attention. “For one we don’t have the space for them, and two Anna would shoot you.”

“But I want them all!”

“No. Okay. You take these two, one for you and one for Anna..”Steve said smiling at the two James was clinging to the most, a brindle and a nearly all white Great Dane pups. Smirking to himself as he held up the biggest fluff ball in the store. It was so tiny, that he could hold both hands flat and it would have plenty of room to lay down. A teacup Pomeranian. “and I’ll take this one.”

James sulked a little, looking moments away from demanding a Pomeranian for himself but after a moment he realized if it was with Steve, he could still cuddle him when he saw the other. “That’s a awesome dog. It’s fluffy, you should totally walk into a meeting carrying it, they’d be so confused, they’d do whatever you wanted.”

“Sorry, Anna gave me explicit instructions that you weren’t allowed to get a ‘fru-fru dog.’ But you can have joint custody of mine if you like.”Steve offered smirking. “Huh snowball? I’m totally taking her everywhere.”Steve added, smirking as the puppy squirmed happily even as the great Danes pressed in close to James.

“What?Why not? The frufru dog is adorable and fluffy. We should totally tell her snowball’s mine and you got the Danes.”James snickered as he set the puppies down as they paid. Smiling slightly as both dogs tried to walk and keep his attention, glancing at the bikes for a moment. Knowing that the bikes would be fine till they could get back to pick them up. At least the apartment was only a few blocks away. “You’re going to confuse your agents, it’s gonna be awesome.”

“We can if you want. Hold on...”Steve muttered, holding up snowball to take a picture before smirking as he sent it to Anna, grinning widely at the near instant response. “She’s got a foul mouth on her. You might have to punish her later.”Steve snickered as he sent the picture to Tony with the caption ‘Wanna co-parent with me?’

“We’ll let her think snowball’s mine for the night, that’s punishment enough...I think that ones going to be Ryu,”James muttered watching the black and white splotched Dane walking next to him, the clear runt of the litter, then looking at the nearly pure white pup prancing happily at his side.“And Yuki.”He said content for the moment.

“I like it. Dragon and Snow right?Well named.”

“Yea. Spent some time in Japan this last year.”Along with allot of other places. Smiling as they got back to the apartment, smiling as the dogs went to explore.“Very well named indeed.”

“Japan?Was it as pretty as everyone says it is?”He asked curious.

“It is. Peaceful to. Once you get out of Tokyo. Got to the countryside, they have a temples there, and a policy of asking no questions when you say you’re on pilgrimage.”James smiled as he remembered his time spent on mount Fuji. 

“We might have to go sometime. And isn’t that a religious thing?”Steve frowned looking at the other thoughtfully as he set about getting some hot chocolate made. 

“It’s a religious journey to a place of worship. Going to a Buddhist temple and taking in the teachings, was a good way to pretend to not be me for awhile.”

“I thought Buddhism was Chinese?And preaches no violence right?”

 

“want some cookies?”

“Yea.”

“These are the best ever.”Steve grinned as he handed over the box of girl scout cookies, handing over a glass of hot coco as soon as he’d finished making it.

“I haven’t had these since we were kids.”James said smiling a little as he ate them, smirking slightly as he watched the dogs bounding around the apartment, exploring.

“I know. I remember when they used to have to bake the cookies themselves and sold them door to door.”Steve smiled a little glancing at the other watching him tiredly eat and sip his coco.”Tired?”He muttered nudging him to his feet. “Come on. I cleared out the guest room. You need to get some sleep.”

James smiled sleepily as he let the other bully him into the other room, snickering as Ryu took a running leap at the bed, and ended up on the floor when it was just a tad to high for the pup just yet. “Hold on, you can sleep with me. Give me a sec you guys.”James promised as he stripped down, smiling as Steve helped the dogs up into the bed. 

“Goodnight...and thanks.”He muttered, knowing the blond would understand it was for everything, and not simply just a bed to sleep in.

“Here, sleep with Snowball to.”Steve snickered as he dumped the fluff ball into bed with the brunette, smiling as he headed for the door. “Goodnight. And no problem, brothers forever and always.”

“Till the end of the line.”James said with a sleepy smile as he curled up with the dogs and went to sleep.

* * *

Natasha frowned slightly as she walked through the park, swallowing hard against the feelings of terror, being lost, alone. Walking through the early evening quiet she moved over to the fountain in the center, sitting down. Smiling slightly as she looked into the water and at the grate at the side, before reaching in, and pulling it up. Smiling slightly at the ring gleaming on it’s silver chain.

“....I was wondering where you’d hid that.”Clint said as he walked towards her from the shadows, having followed behind after everyone left because his curiosity hadn’t been able not to. Looking younger than he was, in the cargo jeans and hoodie, there was a sadness in his eyes, and worry.

Natasha nodded a little, glancing up at him. “I’m not mad. I’m guessing James made you promise, or you were worried about how I would react, or something stupid that was for my protection....”Natasha sighed playing with the ring a little. “You always knew I was going to go back didn’t you?To James. Someday.”

Clint moved closer at her promise she wasn’t made, staring at the ground, nodding slightly. “He made us promise, and it was for your protection. At least, for him it was. The rest of us thought he was insane but.....he fell apart Nat. Promising him that we wouldn’t tell you, was the only thing that managed to get him to calm down.”Clint sighed softly. “He wasn’t sure if you’d ever remember despite you already showing signs of remembering....he didn’t....I think he just wanted for once, for one of you to not be suffering all the memories. And he was glad it was you.”Clint said going quiet before nodding a little. “I knew. Even if he didn’t believe it, me and Phil...everyone, knew. You two were....”He trailed off, not sure how to describe it.

“I thought so....He seems to be a bit of a idiot....Still I can see where he was coming from. Losing me like that, it must have hurt allot.”Natasha muttered frowning slightly. “I don’t really remember much. I remember him getting down on one knee and asking me to marry him....and I remember being so terrified that Hydra would find out how much he loved me so I hid this.”She said examining the ring. “So I couldn’t be used against him....We were perfect. We were both broken in all the right ways to fit together.”

“He is. Though no more then most men....It messed him up. Badly. And considering he was still Cap at the time, still had to work with you...I’m not overly surprised he let us think he was dead really.”Clint sighed softly, before smiling. “You’ll remember more probably, with him back now.”He said before taking the ring, showing her how the bands folded out into a puzzle before fitting them back into each other. “Exactly. He said the ring was perfect for you guys. Cause it was a tangled mess of metal, that shouldn’t fit together, but does.”

 

“Yea, he’s messed up....and I don’t remember working with him...but Anna said that’s normal. As I remember more stuff, other’s will slip away for awhile. Something about the brain setting up a safety or something, I wasn’t really paying attention.”Natasha said before startling as she watched the ring unfold, then fold back together.”That’s completely amazing....It’s perfect....”She muttered before standing. “Come on. I’m cold. Wanna grab something to eat?”

“indeed....James took over for Steve when things went badly a few years ago. Covered everything, and you were his backup for most of it. Made for interesting magazine covers really. When the tabloids managed to catch you two making out suited up. Tony laughed himself into nearly passing out when he saw it, then promptly hid it before James could see it.”Clint supplied smirking a little before nodding. “Wanna stop at that bakery for dessert?”He asked as they headed for the park entrance, they were such chocolate addicts sometimes.

“Wow...I was Captain America’s sidekick...that’s all kinds of awesome.”Natasha muttered before blinking slowly. “There’s tabloids?How much energy has Tony expanded to keep those hidden from me? And how badly did James freak out when he saw it?”She asked as she nodded, heading for the bakery across the park.

“You were. And enough that even with Extremis, when he was done hiding everything, he slept for nearly 30 hours.”Clint said knowing she’d understand. For a genius who was by anyone’s standards, a insomniac and rivaled Steve and James on sheer numbers on not sleeping at night, for him to actually sleep. It had taken allot to actually hide all traces of the relationship. Tilting his head a little as they stepped into the bakery and got their chocolate pies. Not answering until they were settled into their chairs. “And bad enough that some photographers got a up close look at the shield.”

“He spent that much time hiding me from myself. That utter asshole. Remind me to be angry at him later.”She huffed as she started to eat, before sighing. “I’ll be having a talk with him. After cheesecake.”

“at James’ request. Don’t be to hard on him, Tony tries really hard to not have James mad at him. They have a....odd relationship that consists of Tony being scared to death of him mostly, and James resisting the urge to beat his head in cause Tony babbles at him. It’s gotten better after Steve came back though.”Clint snickered a little as he started eating.

“I’m not going to be that hard on him. I like Tony, and I know he only did it because it was the right thing to do at the time. Even I can admit that.”Natasha shrugged smirking a little. “I like freaking him out though, it amuses me.”

 

”Oh good, but feel free to scare the shit out of him. Watching him freak out is indeed quite amusing, even more so when he gets so worked up he makes things.”Clint snickered before watching her eat with a gusto that rivaled their super soldiers. “I don’t know what bonded you two more, sex or a love of food?”He looked amused. “It’s a good thing we exercise allot, otherwise we’d both be really fat eating all this.”

“It is. Even more fun watching him go all manic over inventions.”Natasha snickered a little before rolling her eyes a little. “I should smack you for that. A lady is never fat.”Natasha said getting up. “Come on. I want to talk to Tony before he goes to bed.”

“A lady is never fat, but deliciously curvy. You would be deliciously curvy.”Clint agreed following her back to the tower with a laugh.

* * *

Tilting his head as they stepped into the workshop, Clint frowned slightly at the sight of him laying under the car. He’d wonder about why he was working on it instead of the numerous projects laying all over the shop, except he knew Tony kept this car up here to work on when he couldn’t focus on anything else.

“Stark!I want it.”Natasha demanded, snorting a little at the resounding crack of Tony’s skull hitting the chassis of the car. “All of it. Everything you hid from me. I remember enough to know you’ve hidden it from me. Hand it over.”

“....What all of what?”Tony whined a little as he slid the creeper out to look at her, before sliding back under the car after a moment. “...Barnes scares me more then you do.”

“Tony, just give it to her. Otherwise, she’ll ask James, and we’ll have to deal with that explosion. None of us are prepared for that. Just let her read.”

“Do I have to?”Tony whined sounding upset even as the laptop on his desk flickered to life.

“Don’t worry tony. I wont let the big bad scary assassin hurt you.”Natasha promised. “I just want to know, Tony. I want to know what the hell I’m missing. It hurts, not knowing who I am, who I was.”

“...I’ll hold you to that.”Tony muttered gesturing to the laptop without moving out from under the car again. “That’s the only place in existence that has everything. Read.”He said sighing a little. 

“..thanks Tony. I forgive you for hiding things from me. I’m still pranking you though.”Natasha said smiling as she settled at the desk to read.

“....It’s not everything, it’s what the public knows. I know there’s things still missing, things only James can reveal, and things he refuses to talk about.”Tony said before whining a little. “No pranking!”

“Tony?Thanks for doing it. I probably wouldn’t have taken it well when I first woke up. I know you must have worked hard to hide this so...thanks.”She said offering him a rare, quiet smile.” And yes!Pranking. I owe you for putting glitter in my shampoo.”

“Welcome. We knew that. Didn’t make it any easier to make the decision.”Tony said smiling himself as he leaned out enough to see her smile, looking pleased with it sulking as Clint snickered. “Fine. Pranking.”he grumbled.

Clint smiled a little watching them both, before pressing a kiss to Natasha’s head. “Get some sleep okay?”

“I wont.”


	14. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visiting happens, dog walks, and interesting talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heartily apologize for the long wait on the next chapter, I'm sorry guys. My only excuse is I have a hard time convincing myself to sit down and write when the weather's so nice out. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and I'll try to be better

“Steve!Get in here!I’m dying under dogs.”James yelled as he raised his head, looking down at the dogs sprawled across his hips and legs, and the small fluffball raising with each breath he took.

“Get him snowball!Go Ryu!Bite him harder Yuki!”Steve called out in encouragement as the great dane gnawed like a badly teething baby at James’ shirt. Leaning against the doorway, phone in his hand a recorded the scene in front of him.

“You’re supposed to help me!”James whined, laughing as he got licked, bit, and stepped on in some uncomfortable spots by some very big puppies as the dogs realized he was awake. 

“I am?I wasn’t aware of that, when did we make that agreement?”

“It’s a rule. By being my best friend and commander of shield, you’re supposed to help people!”James whined before glancing up at the other, he smiled. Knowing eventually, the man was going to have to go back to work, but for the moment, he was enjoying having him around. “So, what are we doing today?”

“we’re taking the dogs for a walk, and we’re going to start with training. Thank goodness they’re already potty trained. We’ll probably head up to the tower to show off the pups then go shopping after. You don’t have shit.”

“I hate shopping. But the rest of that?Yes, let’s do that.”He said already shoving the dogs out of the way to get up so he could get a shower. Snorting a little as all three dogs followed in to watch him shower. Cleaning up quickly he yelled out to Steve. “Our dogs are very weird!”

“We have to go shopping. You don’t have clothes, toiletries, or personal grooming things and I’m not letting you share my razor, nuh-uh.”It was a straight razor, just like the one he’d always used. He wasn’t about to share with James, he’d just have to get his own. “They just love you that’s all.”

James smiled a little as he finished dressing, before helping Steve get the harnesses on the pups, smiling a little. “Still weird. Sorta like how Tony would act, if he was a dog.”James snickered as he followed the other out of the apartment.

“Tony already is a dog.”Steve pointed out with a chuckle and a shake of his head as he watched the Danes trying to pull James along, and the more half walking-half wrestling going on.“Snowball is already so well behaved.”

“Do you tell him he’s a dog?”James teased before rolling his eyes a little. “That’s cause yours is a fluff ball. Mine has to prove they’re insane and can’t walk correctly.”James snickered a little as they got to the dog park, smiling as he let the dogs off the leash to run around.

“No I haven’t. And mine is a fluffball.”He agreed with a grin, moving to pick up after Snowball as she pooped. Snorting a little as the tiny dog ran up to a pit bull that way trying to play with the danes, who no doubt could swallow her whole had he wanted to deal with the barking annoyance.

“Fluffball things she’s bigger then the Danes.”James snorted amused as he watched the two follow Snowball around, before picking up after them, tilting his head a little. “The tower?”

“Yup. I wanna check on Tony....and I know you’re worried about Anna and Natasha.”

“Worried about your genius?”

“I am a little bit. He’s been acting weird, I think he’s upset about something. I know he hasn’t been sleeping well, you can always tell because he starts drinking different kinds of coffee.”Steve said before smiling as he clipped snowball’s leash back on. “Come on puppy, let’s go see Papa Tony.”

“Really?You pay enough attention to know when he switches coffee cause he’s not sleeping?”James said before his lips twitched as he followed the other. “Papa tony?”

“Of course I do. If I don’t watch him no one will. He switches coffee alot, and I’ve noticed that when he’s feeling certain ways he’ll drink certain things. Like when he’s not feeling well?He’ll drink really thick french espresso shit that keeps a person up for days on end. When he’s really happy or excited, he goes those sweet ones, you know the kind with caramel syrup and whipped cream.”Steve replied before smirking as they walked into the tower. “Yes papa Tony, for blushing revenge. Making him blush is amazing.”

“You’re obsessed you know that?”James teased as they got to the penthouse, not surprised when he didn’t get a answer.

* * *

“What did I tell you two about working al night?”Clint frowned as he walked into the workshop, looking around with a small frown at the silence, shaking his head at the sight of Natasha still reading. Pausing as he moved over, crouching down to look under the car. Smirking a little at the sight that greeted him. “Did you know Tony was asleep under here?”

“No, I didn’t. I guess it would explain why it’s so quiet....Let’s get him out from under there.”Natasha said moving over, smiling slightly at the sight of Tony curled up, power tools still clutched in his hands. “Did you hear Anna howling last night? Apparently James went and bought a ‘girly girl’s dog’ Think they’ll be by the tower?”

“Yea, it would. It’s sorta cute seeing him like this.”clint said looking thoughtful, wincing as Tony kicked at him as he tried to take the tools away. Huffing as he worked on getting Tony out from under the car, amused that the man was so tired he wasn’t even waking up at pulling him out. “I heard. The fluff ball is fairly cute, even if it’s a ridiculous dog for James....and they’ll probably be by sometime today.”

“It is kinda cute.”Natasha agreed before huffing. “I wonder when the last time he slept was?I bet it’s been awhile....He gets worked up about the silliest things. And it really is a ridiculous dog for James.”She agreed with a snicker. “At least Steve got something cool. Great Danes are awesome.”She said gently cradling Tony’s head as Clint got him the rest of the way out. “Let’s get him to bed.”

“Definitely awhile...and probably the last time Cap made him go to bed, which was before Barnes showed up again.”Clint shrugged before sighing. “He’s been worked up about James, and now you finding out....he’s going to go insane.”He shook his head. “It’s a cute fluff ball though. Sorta like a cotton ball with legs.”

“He’s has been worked up. I think it’s cause he’s jealous. He was all worried Steve was going to pay more attention to James then him...it kinda sucks that Steve has a boyfriend. I really thought he was going to end up with Tony.”

“He really is. Between James and Steve’s boyfriend, I’m sure he’s feeling very jealous. And I know. I agree, him and Steve have some sexual tension to work out.”

“I think I might stalk Steve, find out who he’s dating....he’s not the most perceptive guy around....he might be getting taken advantage of...”

“I’ll join you. It’s sort of worrying we haven’t met his boyfriend.”Clint said a little worried about it.

“Exactly. I mean, it’s sorta hard not to realize the man you’re fucking is Cap.”Natasha said before smiling,looking amused as she shut down Tony’s laptop, tilting her head at clint. “Should we hide this?”

“Nope. James wont try to use it, tech scares him.”Clint said smiling as he carried the billionaire up to his bedroom. Smiling as he got him settled into bed, looking amused as Tony squirmed to get comfy before falling asleep again.

“Tech scares him? Even Steve managed to get over his fear....maybe I should offer him lessons?”

“Very. From my understanding not even the offer of cyber sex while he was on a mission could convince him to get near a laptop.”

“Seriously?Not even sex? Well. That sucks.”

“Yea. As far as I know, he doesn’t even own a phone, but you ask him if he wants lessons anyways, I mean he loves new weapons tech, it’s computers, phones, and Jarvis that freak him out.”

“Well, Jarvis is understandable...there was a machine that spoke at Hydra. Zola. He was, sort of kind of like Jarvis. Not alot, but enough that if I’m having a bad day, Jarvis wigs me out to. He always seems to know when I’m having a bad day though.”

“Jarvis is good about knowing when we’re all having bad days. Especially Steve, though I think that’s cause Tony knows when he’s having a bad day.”Clint said as they walked out of the bedroom, smiling at the two walking in. “Hey guys.”

Natasha smiled looking down at the dogs as the pulled at their leashes trying to explore the new space. “so, this is the dog you got?Anna’s going to be pissed.”Natasha snickered as she picked up Snowball to examine the fluffball. “She’s adorable though so I certainly can’t blame you. You’re going to get teased.”

“Yea, this is them”James grinned as he unclipped the leashes from the dog’s collars, amused as tehy explored the expansive space of the penthouse. “I think I can handle the teasing.”He said quite willing to let them think he had a frufru dog for awhile anyways.

“They’re adorable.”

“Indeed. That’s snowball,”James tilted his head watching Natasha get crowded by all the dogs, something tight in his chest tightening even more as he watched. Resisting the urge to crowd in as close as the Danes were against her legs. Swallowing thickly he smiled a little. “Ryu’s the grey brindle, and Yuki’s the albino.”

“You named your dog snowball?”Natasha stared at him, wondering if he was insane. “Yea, you’re never getting laid again. Anna will never forgive you.”

“Don’t look at me like that. It was a mutual decision to name the fluffball. Steve thought it was a awesome name.”James said smirking a little before blushing slightly. “I’ll totally get laid again...I can keep up with her.”

“..Where’s Anna?”

“Anna’s in session right now with Skye. She’ll be done soon.”Natasha smiled when she saw the brunette relax with the knowledge where his girlfriend was.”And Tony’s asleep. He stayed up all night.”Natasha added when she saw Steve looking for tony without looking like he was looking for tony.

“He fell asleep under his car, and didn’t move when we put him to bed. He wont be up for awhile.”Clint said smiling a little. 

“...He’s working on his car?Steve asked, looking even more concerned now. Tony rarely worked on the car unless he was so upset that he couldn’t focus on something more difficult to work on. “Was he drinking espresso?”

 

“Yea, fell asleep under the Austin Martin.”Clint said looking concerned himself because he knew the car was the one Tony worked on constantly if he was upset. “Probably. There was a few coffee cups under there with him.”

“Well that’s not good.”Steve admitted with a sigh. “I’ll get Anna to talk to him if I can’t get him to talk to me himself....Better let him sleep for now though.”

“Good idea.”Clint agreed trying not to worry to much.


	15. Talking is hard.

Anna smiled as she walked into the living room, looking amused as she looked down at the man laying on the floor. For once, he looked completely relaxed and quiet as he taught the dogs commands, tilting her head for a moment. A quiet little laugh escaping as she realized the two former assassins were teaching the dogs Russian.

“Hey Anna.”James perked up, twisting to look at her with a smile.

“I’m angry with you.”Anna informed her boyfriend as she moved to sit down next to him. “I wanted a cool dog, not a fluff ball. But I guess I can forgive you.”She added laughing as the puppies crowded into her lap.

“I’ve been upstaged in my dogs’ affections.”James sulked watching the puppies. “And don’t be to upset, the fluffball’s not mine. It’s Steve’s.”

“Ah.”Anna said looking amused that he had confessed before smirking. “Yes you have. The puppies know where all the power is.”

“Hey, I’m the superhero in this couple. I think I’m the one in the power.”James said looking amused as the girls started throwing a ball to play with.

“Ah, no. Pregnant woman always trumps male anything.”Anna stated with a smirk. “Also, for that matter, woman always beats man when it comes to power. Men are about brute strength, women are sly. You don’t know you’re in trouble until we tell you your in trouble after all.”

“She’s right you know.”Natasha admitted with a chuckle, amused as the puppies crawled al lover James as he laid down.“Admit it, Anna already has you wrapped around her finger.”

“No, no they’re not. I’m not all brute strength, I made a good living as a spy.”

“Yea, but you prefer a all out slug-fest over the spy games.”Clint teased looking amused at the idea, smirking as the other added as a afterthought.

“Does not. I’m totally free and in control of things.”James said stubbornly. 

“James, I’m hungry. Would you go get me a ice cream pop from the freezer?”Anna asked sweetly, wondering if he’d do it or not. 

“Wait, wait, I’m a sniper. How’s that brute strength?”James asked even as he headed for the kitchen to get the frozen treat.

“Give it up, Jamie. I saw you lift Tony’s car last year because he busted his jack. You ARE brute strength.”Clint teased.

“...You can lift cars?”Anna asked looking up at the brunette as he walked back in the room, smiling as she took her treat, looking turned on by the idea.

“Okay, so we might have been wrong. She’s clearly wrapped around your dick.”Natasha snickered.

“Just my lips.”Anna protested, which only made Natasha laugh harder.

“I can.”James said answering the question with a smile at Anna’s look. “One handed even, if it’s one of Tony’s tiny little sports cars.”he said, his own eyes blown as he looked at his girlfriend, flushing a little as he startled back to realizing he wasn’t alone with her. “And well, as long as part of her is wrapped around my dick.”James said smiling as Anna started eating her popsicle.

“I’ll wrap any part of me around you, you want.”Anna said with a snicker, relaxed enough that she wasn’t even considering that this might be a little weird for James with Natasha in the room.

James’ smirk as he looked at the other, looking amused as he settled in to snuggling dogs and girlfriend, content in their company and not dealing with the raging hard on he’d gotten at that idea.

* * *

Tony grumbled a little as he glanced into the living room before heading down for the lab, huddling around his coffee cup as he settled into his seat, before startling, letting out a definitely unmanly ‘eep’ at the sight of the Captain waiting patiently for him.

Steve smirked looking amused, as he held out the coffee he knew Tony loved. Because while Tony was a coffee addict, he usually was to impatient to use his french press, so had long settled for instant coffee, while Steve made coffee so strong on the press that it could give even him a instant buzz. “Eat, then computer.”He said staring at him, watching as tony ate before sighing. “So, want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Hm?”Tony paused as he finished his doughnut, before moving over to the computer to start working. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Tony, you’re a terrible liar.”Steve chuckled a little. “One, you only drink coffee that strong when you’re upset. Two, you only work on that car when you’re upset. Three, you didn’t change the subject which means you’re upset and trying to not pretend you’re upset. You wanna talk about it?”

“I’m a excellent liar, doesn’t mean I’m lying now.”Tony paused, sipping his coffee as he redesigned the engine on the computer, not protesting but not answering either. “Not really....so. You got a fluff ball of a dog? And I know it’s yours, Rogers.”

“You’re lying, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. I wont force you.”Steve promised before grinning. “I did get a fluffball, and it’s going to go with me. Everywhere. The board of directors are going to be so confused. Her name is even cute. It’s snowball....your co-parent with me, Papa Tony.”

“Okay....”Tony said looking at the other supiciously, before nodding. “It’s okay. I have a date tonight. I promise, I’ll talk to someone, okay?”Tony promised, even as he used his mental connection to his computers to send the email, before pausing. “Really?Everywhere?”Tony snickered. “You’re agents are going to be so confu-Papa?”Tony startled, eyes wide. “I can’t be papa. I can’t look after myself, much less another small living thing.”

“I can’t make you talk Tony. Especially since I think I’m the reason why you’re upset. I’m not sure what I did, but until you’re ready to tell me, there’s not much I can do to fix it....You have a date?”Steve said blinking slowly even as he he felt his phone vibrate. Ah, deflection at it’s best. “Yes, everywhere. And of course, Papa. Don’t worry, you can be the fun parent. Just play with Snowball for a few hours when I’m in a meeting, and we’ll call it good.”Steve promised even as he waited for Tony to slid under the car before answering the email from behind his sketchbook. He was much better at subtle then most people gave him credit for.

“I do indeed.”Tony smiled a little as he replied to the email, relaxing as he set up his date. “Well, okay. I can be the fun parent.”Tony huffed a little as he worked.

“I know I upset you. You wouldn’t be avoiding me if that wasn’t true.”Steve muttered before smiling. “Good. You shouldn’t have to pup-sit to often. James will probably do most of the watching.”Steve admitted.

“I’m avoiding all of you. Especially James and Natasha. Natasha’s being a sneaky-sneak.”Tony made a face as he worked on the engine, even if you knew that it was Steve who really was upsetting him the most. Pausing as he smirked a little. “You know, it’s probably not a good idea to leave James alone to long. You left him upstairs with Natasha you know.”he pointed out, playing dirty to get the main source of his upset mood away from him.

“She finally asked for the information didn’t she? Don’t worry, James knows that she’s going to remember enough to want the information sometime.”Steve pointed out, before rolling his eyes a little. He knew what the other was doing, but willing to go along with it as he headed for the door. “Make sure to get some sleep okay, Tony?”

“I will.”Tony promised even as he finished working, heading upstairs to get ready for his evening out.

* * *

Anna stirred, glancing at her phone as he buzzed, tilting her head a little. “Huh. Steve has a date tonight, and wanted to let you know, and that I’m to keep a eye on you.”Anna said looking down at the man laying in her lap. “Seems to think you’ll do dumb things if he leaves you alone.”

“...I wouldn’t do dumb things. I’m never dumb.”James huffed making a face. “He’s the one who does dumb things when I’m not there.”

Clint tilted his head looking up at Natasha, “Come on. We wanted to follow Steve.”The assassin said as he slid to his feet, heading for the door, Natasha following close behind them. 

“...Hm. I wonder how long it will take them to realize that Tony and Steve are fucking but don’t know they are?”Anna muttered looking amused as he watched the two assassins go, glancing down at James.

“Probably alot sooner then Tony does, though Steve knows now. Seems Tony showing up with a broken jaw was a dead give away. When did you figure it out?”

“Steve finally noticed? That’s sooner then I expected. Both of them were so deep in denial I thought it would go on forever....and I know because they talked about each other, it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.....I wonder if we should stop the wonder twins?”

“I’m sure it would have gone on longer, if Tony hadn’t broken his jaw. It might still go on forever, cause Steve’s waiting for Tony to pick it up himself.”James snorted before sighing. “No. It’ll make them worry less, and as long as they know steve’ll kill them if they upset Tony, it’ll be okay.”

“True. And you’re right, better they know and not worry.”Anna smiled moving to get up, “Come on, let’s get dinner.”


	16. Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of smut, and steve and tony, talk about steve and tony to each other.

Steve smiled a little as he walked in, sliding onto the bar stool next to Caesar, now that he knew what to look for, he knew it was Tony. “Caesar. Wanna hear a freaking awesome rumor?”

“Hey Rav.”Tony muttered shivering a little before smiling. “I’m good with hearing rumors.”

“Since you’re so into the Avengers. I heard the scary woman, talking to the less scary one, that Steve Rogers, you know Captain America?, he’s trying to get into Iron Man’s pants. Pretty awesome yes?”

“Really?”Tony said, looking surprised behind the mask at the idea before nodding. “That is pretty awesome.”

“Really. I see them flirting all the time to. Stark keeps coming into the base just to talk to Rogers, so it has to be a illicit love affair.”Steve said wisely, amused at the look Tony gave him before growing serious.“Caesar?Are you okay?”Steve said sighing quietly as he watched him.

“I’m....okay.”Tony said after a moment as he sipped his drink. “I’m...losing my best friend...I mean...I know it’s normal to have to share time with someone else but...”He shrugged sadly.

“Caesar, you can’t just lose a best friend, you realize that right? Your friend might be a bit busy now but that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about you. He’s probably even more worried then I am right now....talk to him about it. He might not realize how much he’s been ignoring you. Sometimes people forget what’s important is all, he’ll snap back to focusing on you soon enough.”

“Well, his best friend’s back, so he doesn’t need me anymore. And he’s back working, so it’s all okay....and he’s dating someone. So it’s even more okay, he has better people for him.”Tony muttered glancing at the other. “Are we going to talk, or do something better?”

“Huh. So you think that just because his other friend is back...back from where? That your friend doesn’t need you anymore? That’s just silly Caesar. Just because he has other friends, doesn’t mean he doesn’t still need you. After all, being friends isn’t about what they can do for you, or what you can do for them. It’s about being there for each other. If his other friend is back from something bad, like war or something, I know allot of people are coming back from overseas...then your friend might need help dealing with the other. Not to mention, I bet you could be pretty good friends with the other man to, but you wouldn’t know it because you’re hiding.”Steve said watching him. “Just because he’s dating someone, doesn’t mean they’re right for him. How do you know he isn’t thinking the exact same thing you are?That he’ll never be good enough for you? You are kind of amazing you know, if you love him, and you clearly do, you should tell him.”Steve said before snorting. “You’re so impatient Caesar, alright who’s topping this time?”  
“Japan. Told you it didn’t make sense...but he doesn’t. Not really, he thinks he needs me, but he’d be okay without me.”Tony muttered sipping his drink. “not hiding. The moron scares me, badly. That’s not hiding, that’s keeping him from killing me in my sleep.”Tony made a face before shrugging. “And I am kinda amazing, but he deserves more. Better then me....I’m here, talking about feelings, when I do not enjoy the experience. That’s not impatience. And you are.”

 

“Japan? Was he on a business trip?”Steve asked, sighing a little. “Caesar, I wish you could see you the way I do...your friend wont abandon you. Is he still making the effort to see you?Because that’s a good indication that it’s all in your head.”Steve said before tensing a little. “Has he threatened you?”He hadn’t realized that Tony was honestly terrified of James. Had James said something? Done something? “Caesar, I think you’re being silly. Any man in the world would be lucky to have you. I’m just sad it wont be me, since you’re clearly in love with someone else.”He muttered before smiling. “Now. No more emotions, playroom or back rooms?”He purred a little. “I think you should have a taste of the flogger, or maybe the short whip, what do you think?”

“No, personal leave. Cause he thinks I can’t take care of myself. Wants to make sure I don’t off myself.”Tony huffed a little, because he was so jealous, and convinced he was being abandoned, he had no idea how to deal, because he was so used to being left. “Not in years. But he’s a shield specialist, and someone who can shoot a quarter out of the air from a half mile away, is not someone I want to screw with.....and I am not in love with him!”Tony protested before changing the subject wholly. “playroom. And hmmmm, I do think one of those. Whatever.”He muttered already starting to sink, and upset enough to simply want to be hurt.

“You’re totally in love with him, the sooner you admit that, the sooner you’ll stop being unhappy.”Steve muttered, sighing quietly, letting the other change the subject. “Go into the playroom then. I’m going to make you hurt so goo, my adorable little emperor.”Steve said smiling a little as he followed after the other into the main room.

* * *

Across the room, Clint stared. “...is he talking to who I think he’s talking to?”

“...I think it is.”Natasha muttered, straightening her mask as she stare at her teammates, shaking her head a little. “No wonder S....Raven likes this place so much.”

“Huh. Well. Raven has a very goo reason for enjoying it this much.”Clint agreed snickering a little as he settled in to watch, simply enjoying the room and atmosphere.

“Yea...I wonder if Raven knows who he’s fucking?He must...the other...he clearly doesn’t, otherwise they wouldn’t be talking about Steve...”Natasha sighed a little, before smirking at Clint. “wanna go have sex?”

“Of course.”Clint grinned as he eased off his stool.

* * *

Tony moaned quietly as he was buckled to the St. Andrew’s Cross, resting his cheek against the smooth wood as he closed his eyes, simply willing to do whatever Raven wanted for the moment.

Steve smirked a little as he carefully pulled the shirt up over the brunette’s back, so that his back showed but his chest didn’t. He’d always wondered why Caesar never undressed, but knowing who it was, it made sense. Even with extremis, the scars left from the arc reactor made for some very distinct easily recognizable scars. Clipping the shirt into place, he smiled as he offered a snarl to one of the doms standing nearby who got to close. 

“Back up. Touch my Sub, and I’ll break your fingers.”Steve growled, before gently stroking Caesar’s back as the man whimpered. “Hush, little emperor. You’re not in trouble.” 

Tony nodded a little, calming, moaning softly as Steve laid ever so careful strips with the whip across pale creamy skin, whimpering quietly, squirming as he heard the other dropping the whip, felt the other stroking his hand over his back. 

“Hmm, your my perfect toy, aren’t you Caesar?”Steve muttered slipping the other’s clothes off, sliding his fingers into the other as he lubed them up, sighing quietly as he purred. “Beg for it, I love it when you beg.”he muttered, reaching around to stroke Caesar’s cock, watching what little of his face he could see. “An don’t you dare cum till I give you permission, pretty emperor.”

“Just yours.”Tony muttered arching back into Raven’s, whimpering, whining quietly. “Please, please Rav, fuck me, I need you now. Feel you in me, please!”

 

“there’s my good boy.”Steve muttered nibbling on the other’s neck for a moment as he pulled his fingers away, before sliding into the other, “You’re all mine.”he growled, sighing in pleasure as the he thrust into the other, holding him in place with a hand in his hair and a hand on his hip, not to mention the buckles holding him to the cross. “You can come.”He muttered grinning as the other came, watching him slump into his bonds with a content sigh.

“Such a good boy.”Steve muttered stepping back, totally disregarding that they were still in public, the club was a private place, somewhere to simply enjoy being themselves, no one hassled anyone about having sex where everyone could see. It was one of his favorite things really. “Are you feeling better now?”he asked, easing back, grabbing the moist towelettes and cleaning the other up, and getting him a juice after undoing the other’s bonds. “How far down are you?Are you feeling up to coffee?”He asked, having mentioned in the email that he might want to grab coffee with the other, but not sure it was a good idea taking Tony into public like this. The cafe next door often got players from the club, so masks and strange outfits were rarely looked twice at there, still he wasn’t sure he could trust people when Tony was to far own.

“I am. Thanks....and some, but not enough to turn down coffee.”Tony smiled a little as he straightened carefully from his bonds. Because he was subbed out enough to need watched, but as long as Raven was with him, or got him to the car with Pepper eventually, he’d be okay. Sighing quietly as he gathered his clothes, he dressed.

“I’m glad. I’m not sure how much I believe you though.”Steve said watching the other, before helping him dress and offering his arm. “But, let’s call this a date then?”Steve said hopefully as they headed next door.

“You should always believe me.”Tony huffed a little, before smiling slightly. “hey....if we’re doing this date thing, then there’s something you should know.”Tony said, twitching, nervous as he eased into the seat as they got to the cafe, raising a hand. Easing the mask off, the billionaire looking up at Raven with wide, nervous eyes.

“Oh....and here I was, thinking this was going to take months of careful laid plans an helpful hints to ease you into telling you who I was....”Steve admitted with a pout. “You ruined all my fun...truth is, when you came in last time with a broken jaw, I knew who you were....and I was trying to ease you into this....I want you to know...I love you Caesar....Tony....if you freak out, that’s okay. I know we can work it out, okay?”Steve said even as he eased his own mask off, watching the other carefully, waiting for him to go ape shit on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, next chapter, will have all the natasha/james goodness. They're being stubborn brats, and don't wanna come out and play. but next chapter. I promise!^^


	17. Hello, Stranger

Natasha paused in the living room, tilting her head slightly as she heard the haunting strands of Ellie Goulding’s ‘Love me like you do’, the violin strands hitting her with near violence as the memories swirled. James playing for her while she cried. Playing for when she was sick. James playing for her during a romantic inner with candlelight and roses. 

Following the sounds of the violin, she paused at the balcony door, watching the dark haired man as he played. “...that was beautiful.”She admitted as the song ended. “You used to play for me, right?”

James tensed a little at her presence, setting the violin aside as he leaned against the balcony railing, so carefully avoiding turning around and looking at her. “...Yes.”He said, ducking his head a little, hiding nearly as much as if he’d simply walked away from her.

“I like it. You shouldn’t hide from me like that. It’s annoying.”Natasha admitted, sounding so very much like herself. “You know, I don’t remember much. Not yet, but they’re coming quicker and quicker....you and me. We used to be something.”She said watching him. “And I know you probably aren’t prepared to have something with me again, but when I remember everything, when I remember why I love you so much, can you promise me we’ll try again?”

“I’d forgotten how annoyed you’d get at me for that...”James muttered mostly to himself, resting his hands on the railing, still hiding. “We did....”He swallowed hard, skidding on mental ice at her words, having never thought she’d want to try again. Stuttering, for once, James Barnes was completely at a loss for words. “What...I...you...”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure me and Anna can make a compromise on how to share you. She and I are good friends, I’m sure she knows I’ll eventually want you back. I wont ask you to abandon her, I’d never do that. But we could share, I’m pretty sure. Anyway, I’m going to go get naked. See you around.”Natasha said smirking a little as she turned to leave, pleased with his reaction as she headed for her room, amused at the stuttering coming from behind her.

* * *

“....”Tony stared at the man in front of him, eyes widening as he stared. Pain flickering over his features before it was locked away, hidden as much as subspace would allow him to hide. His emotions imploding as he was jerked out of his headspace, “I should be going...this...this was a bad idea....”he said already for the door, so emotionally locked down that you knew he was hiding behind the mask he’d perfected years ago as he called Pepper.

“Tony!Wait, please.”steve said as he followed the other, catching his wrist. “For over three months I’ve been feeling like the lowest shithead on the planet. Being in love with two different men at the same time. You have no idea how glad I was, when I realized those two men where the same person. Please, Tony I love you...don’t leave me. Not like this...tell me you don’t love me back if you have to...but don’t just leave.”

“...”Tony frowned as he was stopped. Tilting his head a little as Steve’s phone went off. Pulling away as the man answered. Smirking quietly as he headed for the meeting spot he always met Pepper, even as ‘Tony’ recited the shield regulations for dating between agents came from the phone. It was a beautiful thing sometimes, when extremis let him be a chickenshit without having to say anything. Going out of his way to be a dick, mostly because his subspace had soured enough to have him lashing out. Stumbling a little as he headed for the tower. He knew where home was, and Pepper was taking to long.

“Tony, I changed that rule months ago.”Steve said shaking his head as he hung up, following the other. Making sure he was okay, before relaxing when the limo pulled up, and Pepper leaned out to snag tony, guiding him into the car. “Tony?What happened?”

Tony rolled down his window as he slumped back into his seat, waving a hand at Steve. “he’s been my date for three months.”he scowled, settling a little as he closed his eyes. “Happy, the tower please.”

“Of course Sir.”

Pepper frowned before looking, paling a little as she saw who it was, waving goodbye as she leaned back into her seat as she stroked Tony’s hair. “I know. He told you? I was sure it’d take him alot longer to realize who you were. I looked into him as soon as you started to see him regularly. I honestly thought it was hilarious how you two danced around each other at the office like you didn’t realize how much in love you both were, and then would meet up to fuck each other silly, without realizing who it was. It was quite adorable.”

“....No. I told him. And he already knew. You all already knew!”Tony snarled sounding upset and angry with them, frowning. “Who else knew?”

“He already knew?Since when?He sure as hell didn’t know a few weeks ago.”Pepper pointed out, frowning at the billionaire, even if she knew he wasn’t really listening. “And of course I knew Tony, honestly. I had to make sure he wasn’t an assassin or spy or something. No one else knew as far as I know. Well, Anna might know, if you and STeve talked about each other in therapy, but she’s not allowed saying anything.....are you really going to hold it against him though? He’s probably been freaking out about taking advantage of you, or something really stupid like that. He loves you, everyone knows that to be true. You should give him a chance. You could finally be happy for once.”

“I don’t know. You do know I’m iron man, right? I could have handled a few assassins....well. Okay. At least it’s just Anna....and probably James.”Tony sighed, knowing that if Steve knew, the other super soldier would know to. “Yes....yes I am.”Tony huffed because he had his own reasons for not actually pursuing a relationship with the Commander, reasons that he went to the club, reasons that he’d rather everyone think he was a being a dick over this instead of knowing. Heading for the elevator as soon as the car stopped, he waved at pepper as she watched him. “Goodnight pepper.”

“Sure you could. You’d be laying there all blissed out in subspace, and they’d just slit your throat. You know how overprotective I am. I just didn’t think you and Steve were ready to know you were fucking each other....though, considering the way you’re acting now, I still don’t think you were ready.”She said following him upstairs, watching the man as he walked around the bar, shaking her head. “Your going to be a dick aren’t you? Fine. But when you make Captain America cry, just know I told you so. Stop drinking, you wasted drunk! And goodnight. I hope you have nightmares about Captain America crying!”

* * *

“So. Tell me, how did the date go?”James said as he stepped into the apartment, eyeing his friend. Who looked like he’d been hit by a truck.

“hey...it went....”Steve muttered into the cushion, turning his head to look at the man standing near the couch. “He revealed himself. So I revealed myself. And I’m pretty sure he hates me now...did you threaten him?”steve said sounding annoyed as he shifted. “he’s terrified of you, you know. You beter not have threatened him....”Steve complained staring out at the river as he sat up. “I’ve ruined everything. Now I’ll never get to have Tony all to myself...I’ve gone and blown it...I’ll be lucky if he ever even looks at me again, let alone talks to me.”

“Seriously?”James said looking startled at the idea that it had been Tony who made the first move, before startling. “Huh?I haven’t threatened the idiot in years. Not since you ‘died’ and I sorta told him I’d make sure he didn’t live to see someone else become Cap if he didn’t hand over the shield and uniform.”James said dodging a little, not about to admit to the actual threat and actions that had followed that first meeting between Winter Soldier and Director of Shield. “Steve, I’m assuming you two had sex tonight. He was relaxed and happy, it probably startled him. Let him cool off tonight, and see what he does tomorrow. And if nothing else, he’s still an avenger. Haul his ass down to shield to talk to him.”

“I was really surprised. I didn’t realize he was ready for that step. Honestly, I don’t think he was. Or he wouldn’t have freaked out so bad....maybe I should have faked it? Pretended to be upset that I didn’t realize it was him or something? No....that wouldn’t have worked....”Steve said with a sigh before nodding. “Yea, he’s scared to death of you....I knew it.”Steve scowled at his best friend. “You did threaten him. You should apologize.”He demanded before sighing again, getting back on topic. ‘Yea, we had sex...huh. You know, you have a point. He was pretty far down tonight. I can’t trust his emotional responses right now. But no, I wont haul him into shield. It’d just make him defensive. I’ll make Pepper do it, because I’m a sneaky bastard like that.”

“Well, you said on the phone you were out for a date. He probably thought that he had to, since it was more than just sex and being together. It was like a date-date.”James frowned a little before shaking his head. “Even a emotionally stunted genius would figure out you were faking. It would have been worse.”He agreed before wincing. “I did after you got back. Apparently you can’t unfrighten someone after they see you shoot a quarter out of the air.”Especially if said person was flipping the coin. “He probably jerked himself out of subspace. He was probably all over the place, and feeling defensive already. Wait and see what happens.”James sighed as he moved over, clapping a hand to the other’s shoulder and gently urging him towards his feet. “Get some sleep. You look ready to fall over.”he said urging him towards the bedroom.

“Yea but I mean, he could have said no and I wouldn’t have cared. He made the first move!That has to mean something. I wonder if he doesn’t like me at all, and thought Raven was someone completely someone else.....maybe he’s mad because he thinks I lied to him? I guess I kind of did, I should have told him as soon as I knew it was him. Maybe that would have made a difference?”Steve wondered outloud, frowning a little before glaring at his friend. “He was holding the quarter wasn’t he? You’re such a dick.”he complained before nodding, letting the other direct him towards the bedroom.

“Steve, he had no idea who Raven was. Or that you knew who he was. I think he liked that. Probably convinced himself he was ready, but I doubt he was ready to be himself. Besides, anyone in a room with you two has to go hump something after, the sexual tension is so thick. It’s not he doesn’t like you....probably. He might think you’re jerking his chain. And I don’t think he was ever going to handle it better then he is now.”James said before giving Steve that wide eyed innocent look. “I’d never do that.”he said snickering a little.

“I know...but I bet he did. I think he liked it to. Being invisible. Honestly, I did to. It’s hard to find someone who likes me for me, instead of because I’m the Captain.”Steve admitted as he settled into bed. “Yea....I think the only person who didn’t know I was in love with Tony, was Tony....even I pretended ignorance. It hurt less that way....”

“You guys’ll figure it out.”James said pressing a kiss to Steve’s forehead. While he had no confidence in his own love life, he knew Tony and Steve would work this out.


	18. spars

Steve looked up, raising a eyebrow slightly at the billionaire walking through his door, looking for all the world like that nothing had changed in the last two days. Or that he’s spent the 48 hours locked in his lab on a creative binge. Something tight and hurting relaxed in steve’s chest as he watched Tony settle into his normal chair.

“I need you to get Barnes own to the lab. He’s ignoring me and I have improvements for his arm done.”Tony said, yep, definitely pretending it was a completely normal and any other day.

“I will.”Steve smiled a little before turning back to his paperwork. “They seem to think that they can bully me into bullying you into handing over the Iron Man suit...what the hell do they want with the suit they can’t use anyways?We’ve been over this before...”He motioned for tony to hand him the stamp sitting on the edge of his desk, grinning harshly as he took the REJECTED stamp. Sometimes, when he was annoyed enough, he’d stamp the page so many times it turned into a big, wet, red piece of paper. It was a exactly what he did in that moment. It was enough of a warning to make the assholes back off for a month at least. “Speaking of Barnes, he’s going to apologize to you again, and he’s going to mean it this time, otherwise I’m going to staple his lips shut or something...”he sighed leaning back in his seat. “god, I’m tired....is the day over yet?”

“Yea, not happening. Not only are you the nicest guy, and hate bullies, but the suit’s dying with me, whenever that happens. Only way it works now, is with extremis, so they totally can’t use it.”Tony made a face before tilting his head a little. Wondering if this reaction what what he got for talking about his life with Raven. “If he does, can I totally be forgiven for giving Natasha everything? I mean, him having to apologize should gain me some forgiveness for that.”Tony whined a little before laughing. “It can be, come on. Go back to the tower, convince James to stop playing with Natasha’s protege, and actually let me do some work.”

“I have explained this to those idiots, that they couldn’t use it even if they had it, but they don’t listen.”Steve growled annoyed before looking up at Tony in surprise. “She finally remembered enough to ask for it?”he asked grimacing. “Oh hell. James is going to be pissed for weeks now. I thought he was acting weird last night. Natasha must have said something to him, that’s just great....if he gets grumpy I’m totally kicking him out. He can go stay with Anna.”Steve huffed before blinking. “James is with Skye? Oh that can’t end well.”

“Well, maybe I should go to the meeting and show them up close and personal just how closely extremis has tied the suit to me.”Tony muttered thoughtfully, wincing a little. “yea... The other day. She knew she was missing things, and asked birdbrain about it. I knew we should have never trusted him to not tell her.....and maybe. You know Natasha. She can’t help but poke him when he’s already worked up.”Tony snickered a little, because the two had a relationship as explosive as it was passionate. “It really can’t. Which is why you need to come and stop it.”

“Fine, but I get to take snowball.”Steve said smirking a little as the small dog rolled about tony’s feet, utterly delighted at seeing a person she knew. “Let’s go then. We better go stop whatever disaster is happening.”

* * *

Clint sighed a little, rolling his eyes as he watched James and Skye, shoulders tense. Despite James being completely in control, he was worried about what would happen, but considering Skye was the one who asked him to spar, he figured he woman deserved whatever she got. Glancing at the woman leaning against the ring ropes next to him, he tilted his head. “Jealous?”

“Nope. I talked to him you know.”Natasha said with a small smile. “Made sure he knew to leave a place open for me when I got all my memories back. Besides, this is good for him. He’s branching out, including others. Plus I like watching his ass when he fights.”She added, well aware James could hear her.

“Hm?You did?”Clint said lookign interested and amused, shaking his head. “that’s evil, Nat.”He muttered. “I’m not sure about that. He doesn’t enjoy other people’s company.”Clint muttered wincing as James looked over at them, wincing as James’ moment of inattention let skye snap his head around with a well landed punch.

“It’s a bit evil.”Natasha said already moving even as James focused on Skye with a laser tight intensity. Catching her heel around his calf, she pulled, glad for once that he wasn’t paying attention to anything but the woman who’d hit him, the moment giving her time to knock him off his feet. Shoving Skye out of the way with a barked order at Clint to make her leave. Twisting to look at James as he climbed to his feet again.

The snarl that twisted his features shifting into a wolfish smile as he made a grab at the woman, fists and feet moving as qucikly as he could, arousal and pain a heady mix as each blow was met, a drug as heady as cocaine. Sparring with Natasha had always been his favorite pastime. Pinning her to the ground he growled down at her, eyes blown as he considered the woman under him.

“Are you going to fuck me?”Natasha growled even as she fought against the man above her, lust coiling tight in her belly, voice husky with lust.

James shuddered as he felt the woman fighting, pressing more firmly down into her, lowering his head to nuzzle at her neck, to lost in his memories, the winter soldier sliding away, leaving a man heartbroken and in love, a wreck of the man he’d been. “Your ribs okay?”He rumbled quietly still aware enough to not want to hurt her, growling as he bit her gently. “I think I will, you know.”He growled as he ground into her, smirking as her legs bracketed his hips.

 

“Yea, they’re fine.”Natasha groaned, gasping as he bit her, “Yes.”She whined softly, grinding back into him, needy, wanting.

James frowned, holding her hips still as he raised his head, staring towards the door. Even as lust clouded as he was, he wasn’t unaware enough to miss someone walking in. Staring at Steve for a long moment he shuddered, it was like he’d been hit with a bucket of cold water as he stumbled to his feet. Pushing past Steve as the other super soldier reached for him.

Tilting her head back Natasha frowned, staring for a long moment before whining as she tossed a arm over her eyes. “Dammit, now I’m horny.”She growled sounding annoyed as she relaxed back into the mats.

Steve snorted a little as he realized that they were both physically fine, shaking his head. “I’ll send Clint down.”he said sounding amused as he left again. Knowing better then to stick around for what was coming next. some things involving his teammates, he was just better off not seeing.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, just as a side note, I'm participating in NaNoWriRo this year, with a whole new story, so it might be a bit until I have the next chapter ready for you.

“James? What’s wrong?”anna looked up as she leaned back in her chair, frowning slightly. “Did something happen? You look like hell.”

“Lost my temper. Sparred with Natasha. Nearly screwed Natasha.”James muttered as he crossed the room, nudging her chair back to kneel at her side, resting his head on her lap. 

“Why didn’t you?”Anna said looking down at the man in curiosity. “I would have loved to see the video of that.”She added, gently stroking his hair. “You’re kinda cute when you’re all worked up like this. It’s going to be okay, James. If Natasha regains all her memories, and still wants you, we can come to an agreement. You love her, you should have the chance to be happy with her again. That doesn’t mean you have to abandon me in the process.”She assured him, knowing it was something he was worried about. 

“...Steve interrupted....and I...don’t...Feels like I shouldn’t....”He sighed quietly, calmign slowly as she stroked his hair. “I’m never cute. I’m super sexy, not cute.”He huffed going still. “....Did you two talk about it? Cause she made the same offer.....”

“Yea, Steve is enough to make someone not want to have sex. He’s so uptight.”Anna agreed looking amused. “Of course you should. She wanted it, didn’t she? And you are cute, super adorable.”She teased before blinking, startled. “Did she?Seriously? Huh. I didn’t realize she’d uncovered so many memories as to want to lay a claim on you so soon.....she hasn’t talked to me in a few days. I think she’s been to busy trying to straighten out her own head...I should have a session with her, I don’t want her to have to handle such a massive influx of emotions on her own...”

“He is uptight, even if he’s insane in the sack...speaking from seeing it. Not because I’ve participated, no matter what Stark says.”James huffed a little before nodding. “She did...its just.... I feel like it’s wrong....and I don’t know why...it’s...”he made a frustrated sound. He hated what they’d done to him, he’d been emotionally reserved even before the ice, but his time as the Winter Soldier had left him even more compromised. “Yea, she did. It was....weird. She sought me out, wanted to make sure I knew to leave a spot open for her.....you should go see her...after she’s done...I’m sure she’s frustrated at the moment...”He muttered.

“I’m well aware of where Steve goes when he wants sex James.”Anna assured him with a chuckle. “We all know he’s really a pervert.”Anna looked down at the man, gently stroking his hair. “It’s okay to be feeling the way you are....part of you is angry that you didn’t go through with it. Part of you is relieved, part of you is upset because you think you almost cheated on me. Part of you is glad you didn’t. You’re all torn up inside and that’s normal.”She promised him with a smile before chuckling. “Well, I always underestimate her....it’s your own fault to. Leaving the job undone.”Anna teased, reaching down to fondle him. “How frustrated are you? I bet your all worked up.”

“Yes...that’s exactly it....”James muttered relaxing, realizing she understoo better then anyone what he was feeling. “Well...Steve startled me...”he muttered, swallowing hard. Because had he been in more control, he wouldn’t have cared, but he’d been in the mindset of the soldier as he stared down at Natasha. Had reacted instinctively, with a need to protect himself, and even as frustrated as he was, the man ha retreated because he needed to. Moaning as he was fondled, whimpering quietly. “Very.”

“Well, we’ll have to do something about that, wont we?”Anna teased standing carefully,gently bullying him into sitting back as she sank to her knees, undoing his pants with a smile. “I wonder, how long can I tease you for...”

“Only as long as it takes me to get frustrated.”James said laughing a little as he tangled a hand in her hair.

* * *

“...Sit. Before something blows up. What do you want to eat?”Steve said eyeing Tony as the billionaire fluttered around the kitchen, sighing quietly.

“I find it amusing he’s a good teacher when he doesn’t like teaching most people. And grilled cheese and noddles.”Tony said as a afterthought in answer to Steve’s question as he eased down to the stool, eyes a little unfocused as he turned the focus inward. Trying to understand what he was seeing.

“He likes to choose his own students, people he can trust not to turn on him.”Steve admitted even as he started to cook. “He likes to have proteges, not students. People he knows will use what he teaches for the right things.”

“I know. He got twitchy when Hill tried to force him to teach until I made her back off.”Tony muttered. 

“Yea, it doesn’t help that he doesn’t particularly like crowds or large groups. So when she wanted him to teach the entire population of new recruits, she was well and truly out of her mind.”

“Indeed.”

“Tony?”Skye frowned watching his face. 

“Hm?”

“Something wrong?”

“Yea...weird video for Natasha just arrived at shield...from your father I think....but it doesn’t make sense...just how insane is he?”

“Fairly. But he usually has a reason for doing things.”

“A video for Natasha?Can you have it brought here?”Steve frowned wondering what was going on.

“Already working on it. Jarvis is downloading it in the living room so we can watch before we show it to Nat. Decide if she needs to see it.”Tony said frowning as he headed for the living room.

“Also, it would be better if no one else knew about the video yet either, you and I will watch it alone then decide. She wont like it if we tell the others after all.”Steve said smiling apologetically at Skye as he followed after Tony.

Tony paused thinking about that before nodding. “Jarvis, my rooms then.”Tony said detouring towards his private penthouse, while he trusted them all, having his own private rooms worked well for moments like this. “Okay, J. Let’s see.”

“Ms. Romanoff, I know you understand the pain of losing a child, yet we’ve both been denied our daughters by the people in our lives. Did you never wonder why he never produced a body? Your daughter is alive, Aliana is alive, and though scarred by her father’s abuse, she is alive. I can return your daughter to you, all I ask, is that you return mine to me.”

“Mama?”The youngish looking woman standing next to Cal smiled slightly, late teens early twenties begging quietly, wanting to come home.

“


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. so very sorry. It's been a insane few months, and every time I sat down to write, I sorta blanked. but I promise, no matter what, I'm not dropping the story. so here you go, a new chapter. ^^

“.....How valid do you think it is?”Steve said after a long moment, staring at the screen. “Do we ask James? I don’t know that Natasha would remember if she even had a daughter....I’m not sure what to do here....”

“I’m not finding any doctoring to the video, or changes. As far as it being a actual video being filmed, I don’t doubt that....whether or not they have a child....well. Talking to James would be your best course of action.”Tony muttered as he went over the video again, wincing a little as he considering just what they’d have to ask. “....he said abuse.” He added, curious now.

“Just because there’s no doctoring, doesn’t mean this isn’t a trick. After all, there are several dozen different ways that a girl could be faked. Hell, he might have found a girl the right age with the right looks. A mutant like Mystique, able to change....a mental illusion, well done makeup...there’s no guarantee that this girl is ever real, and I don’t think Natasha would know either....as for abuse, James has been mind wiped so often, he could have very well punished a daughter, if she was real, without knowing who she was or why it hurt to hit her. That’s even if James is the father. Or raised her, or knew of her existence. There’s to many unknowns and far to many variables.”

“True....”Tony sighed running a hand through his hair, “I really wish we wouldn’t get the freaks. I mean, even if the girl is real, we can’t turn Skye over, or leave Aliana with him. This is just sick.”Tony shuddered a little, twitching a little, moving away towards teh door. Now that he was sorta calm, seeing Steve anywhere near his bed was freaking him out some.

“This is bad....and something is very wrong with that girl. She has to be a teenager right? So why so innocent? And she called Natasha Mama. Not typical behavior for any teenager. It looks as if this is designed to yank at Natasha’s heartstrings and make her react instead of think things through. It’s a very clever manipulation, even if it’s real. I don’t like it, at all. No matter who the girl is though, you’re right we have to get her away from him.”Steve said before chuckling a little as he glanced at the other. “I’ll bottom, if it’s a fucking you want. After all, we’ve apparently been fucking for months, why stop now?”

“Something indeed. but...I don’t know if it’s simply a act. I mean...he’s creepy enough that he might be forcing her to act like that, especially if it’s been awhile since Natasha saw her....we’re lucky James is still alive, otherwise we might never have had a answer to this without a bloodbath....”Tony mused, because it was obvious Skye’s father hadn’t counted on the supposed father to still be around and able to answer questions. Pausing to look at Steve, he twitched before walking out. “No....Jarvis, will you tell James to get up here?”Tony asked, he was both a coward and a dick, willing to risk the wrath of a man who terrified him sometimes, to simply avoid this conversation.

 

Act or not, the girl is probably in serious trouble, if she is a girl at all anyway. I don’t remember Natasha or James ever mentioning any children though.”Steve said frowning a little before nodding. “We are very lucky. Still I don’t like the timing. Natasha has only just started properly regaining her memories. And Skye hasn’t been here long. Do we have a spy? Or is someone watching us?”He shook his head a little thinking it over, before smiling. “When you want to...just let me know. Try to do it quick though, okay? It’s already been two days. I don’t know how long I can last without having sex. I wont have sec with anyone else though. I refuse to give up, until you can look look me in the eye and honesty say you don’t want me anymore.”

“I-I’m going to go get something to eat.”Tony said looking a little panicked already backing away, bolting out of the door before wincing as he ran into a solid chest, the squeak that escaped decidedly unmanly as he walked around James. 

“What did you do to him?”James asked as he stepped into the room, frowning a little as he looked around. “If you called me up here to help with your sex life, I refuse.”

“I told him I’d be celibate until he told me to my face that he didn’t want me.”

“Isn’t that dangerous steve?”Anna asked frowning a little as she stepped into the room after James. “You told us, and him, yourself about what happens when you go without sex.”

“All the more reason for Tony to give in sooner. But I didn’t call you here about that...something’s happened and I need to know something.”Steve paused, eyeing the man standing in front of him. “A very disgusting man has claimed that Natasha had a daughter. We are uncertain if it’s true. Did she?”

James stared at him, paling as he took a step back even before he was aware that he had done it. “Yes.”he said glancing at the screen, “What else did he claim?”He asked, shaken but his emotions so locked down that he’d taken a step back into the winter soldier persona, hearing the pleas, pain of his last moments with Aliana, struggling to focus on the here and now, struggling to see Steve and Anna here, with him.

“He claimed she wasn’t dead because you never produced a body. He claimed you abused her, considering how often you were mind wiped, it could have been true.”Steve said picking up the remote and letting the video play, watching the rapidly paling man. “The question now is, does Natasha remember, and do we tell her?”

“...It’s a LMD, let him kill it.”James said his voice so cold it was like a wind off the tundra, able to freeze the breath in your lungs.

“how do you know?”Tony asked as he stepped back into the room, “You didn’t bring back a body did you?”

“No. Because no mother should ever see their child like that. Aliana’s dead.”James snarled his control starting to fray at the edges, shaking his head a little to try and clear it. “Let him keep the LMD, I don’t want to deal with it.”He growled, snarling when tony got in his way as he headed for the door.

“James, we’re trying to help. Does Natasha know?”

“Tony....move. He’s not stable, you need to move.”Steve said gently, watching the two as James pushed past Tony even as he moved out of the room, glancing at Anna. “I don’t think he would know if Natasha remembers now or not. We’ll have to involve her....even with half her memories gone, she knows James the best of us these days.”

“We just have to keep her calm...and keep her here until she can function properly.”Anna admitted softly, “Finding out she had a child who died...it’s going to be hard on her. We’ll need to be careful when dealing with her. I would like to be the one to tell her.”

“go ahead. Jarvis, have her come up.”Tony said watching anna walk out of the room, swallowing thickly as he watched James pacing the balcony like a caged tiger. “This isn’t going to end well....”

“No....I’ll go calm James down though.”Steve sighed quietly, shaking his head as he headed out to the balcony to give James something to hit.


End file.
